Looking effortlessly groomed...

[elliej83]

Hi everyone,

I've been a little glum this week as just find no matter how hard I try I always seem to look a bit unkept.

I have very fine hair which is always wispy no matter if I tie it up or have it down. Shorter styles are even worse to keep. I always seem to have bags under my eyes and just look a little unkept.

I was discussing this with a friend today who said that its one of those things you either have or you don't. Or... You spend a fortune to get.

Does anyone have any tips on looking groomed on a budget?

Wear a uniform.

It depends what you want to look like I guess. I think Hound's post is the one that is the most correct, be yourself and as long as you keep yourself clean that's enough. I don't judge people who look scruffy, I do judge people who look plastic. But your career will determine the environment you need to fit into so what I as a scientist think is acceptable (e.g. high heels are a no-no at work) is different from someone who works in fashion.

Otherwise it's about spending money: regular good haircuts, natural fabrics (crumpled linen always looks more expensive than smooth polyester), shoes that aren't cheap black leather. I think well cut natural hair looks better than dyed hair full of product and short clean nails look better than painted talons.

There are so many conflicting things about what being groomed is all about, some I agree with and some I don't! So my tuppence worth....

I think there are 5 basics that determine whether some looks groomed or not.

1. Healthy natural looking (even if it's not!) hair: it's worth investing in regular cuts and hair masks. Oh and giving it a good brush and style in the morning.

1. Clean, neat and healthy looking nails: they don't need to be painted but lots of vitamins in your diet are good for nails. And if painted, nothing overly "bright".

1. Clothes that fit and flatter you: it really doesn't matter what size you are but if your clothes don't fit then they will look awful on you. Too tight clothes are the worst but baggy and shapeless up there with it.

1. Iron your clothes.

1. Clean shoes. Scuffed and/or dirty clothes are just not a good look.

If I was going to add bonus things, I would say, think about your clothes before you put them on and look in the mirror and critique. Also think of accessories as an extension of your outfit as they can really flatter or spoil an outfit.

And finally on make up, not necessary but if you wear it then understated is always the way to go.

I see a big difference when I try(spending 10 mins) when I just rush it ( spending 5 ) done the extra 5 mins makes a big difference

Make up wise u really don't have to spend a lot to look good u just need to sift thru the rubbish that's out there n find what's worth the money

For example why buy the urban decay palettes that cost a fortune when u can get an Mua one for 4 quid virtually the same colours n really brilliant pigmentation their £1 Lippys n blushes r brilliant too

There's lots of brill foundations Rimmel is usually my Fav but boujoir do a healthy mix syrum foundation that's good if ur older n have fine lines

I always say use a primer it helps the foundation sit better n look better Barry m does a green colour correcting one that takes the redness out of your face a bit before the foundation that's brill n 5 quid

And concealer which is my must have with monsters I use collection lasting finish in light it's the shit pardon my mouth but it is I'd look like a corpse most days without it n it's 4 quid

Get those on 3 for twos n bush bosh

Hair I must admit I'm blessed with long thick hair that I only need to streightwn once in the week and it will stay non frizzy n nice but silicone is crap for your hair try avoiding that see what happens X

You have all inspired me to get back on the hair + make-up routines.

I think genetics plays a good part, I've no greys and I've tanned the fags & booze but my skin is incredible (I'm mid 40s) and all I use is almond oil I whack in a jar with a handful of salt + sugar which I gently scrub with every morning. 'Tis what it 'tis.

But I could really use some help with hands + nails. Due to anxiety issues I attack my hands and they look as though I've left them in the piranha tank overnight - is there anything I can do to disguise? Lace gloves a la Madonna 1985?

I'm on a tight budget as well. I weekly exfoliate face and body with a mix of sugar, olive oil and honey. I sometimes put avocado on my face as a mask. I keep my nails short, always put top coat for extra shine. In bad hair days I do a bun. No roots showing up, use silver shampoo to keep brassy tones away. I look for leather shoes and bags at end of season when I can get better deals. I check sales at stores like french connection, all saints, etc. and sometimes I find good pieces at charity shops. I use Ann Cherry corset to slim down waist and improve posture. Overall I think everything I can do in a beauty saloon I can do myself (except haircut), but clothes wise one needs to invest a bit in order to looked groomed.

People always comment on how I look, I don't think I make a particularly big effort. But I do have a more groomed appearance.
I get my eyebrows waxed and tinted every 4 weeks, I get an eyelash lift done which involved a dye and curl, lasts quite a while. My hair gets cut every 6 weeks and coloured every 12 (I have ombré dye). I always wear clothes that fit, are clean and most importantly suit me. Never leggings. Always clean footwear and accessories. Doesn't need to be over the top but a nice necklace and simple studs look good. I always wear make up. I use a sunbed for 8 minutes every 2/3 weeks or I find it impossible to get a foundation to suit my skin as my face and body don't match colours at all. I wear very light make up during the day but always lipstick and mascara.

Posture, confidence, clean clothes - not necessarily ironed - I never iron - creases come out of even linen when hung up in shower room.
Clothes that fit - never too tight slim not necessary as long as no lumps and bumps highlighted by thin cheap material stretched across.
Plain rather than patterned, no frilly bit, sequins, slogans.
Never a waterfall cardigan.
Discreet jewellery and earrings - no piercings except one in each ear. No 'art teacher' necklaces or comedy earrings.
Comfortable clean shoes - only as high as you can walk in easily.
If toes on display ie in sandals, discreet varnish, and same for fingernails - long gel nails look naff and cheap.
Eyebrows neat but definitely not the sperm type that instantly shriek cheap.

I too have fine whispy hair, a wardrobe almost entirely from Sainsburys and a love for 'comfy clothes'!!

But I know that if I wash and blow dry my hair, I'm off to a good start!

I used to love having my nails done but now have had zero inclination to get them done/do them until recently and I discovered Jamberry :)

They are vinyl wraps that you do yourself and I get about 2 weeks from each set...and I flippin love them (So much so I became a consultant with them..something I NEVER saw myself doing) and this is going to sound a bit OTT but...since I have started doing them, I HAVE started wapping some mascara on before leaving the house and pulling my nice jeans on instead of my leggings and I do feel I have turned a bit of a corner in the 'glam stakes'...I have even been chatting to my hairdresser today about maybe having a colour on my hair...something I never done!!

I think it's a mindset more than anything...its little things that make YOU feel 'tidy' and the little things seem more manageable!!!

I'm far from getting up at 5.30am to do my hair and make up before I step out of the door...but I do feel better...and that has happened really recently!!!

Mrsguyofgisbo has it spot on.

Having nicely filed nails makes me feel more put together.

My trouble right now is breastfeeding. Nothing fits and my primary consideration has to be ease of access which is driving me nuts.

I badly need my hair and eyebrows done.I also have really annoying fly away bits at the front of my hair. my tip is so scoosh a bit hairspray on a comb then comb the awkward bits back in with the rest of the hair fixing it in place. This way the hard doesn't have that wet/hard hairs prayed looked.

Also confidence is everything and I dont have much of it but mindset helps that a lot. I also feel so much better in summer. Probably cause the rest of the time I'm covered in a coat I think why bother.

I've recently taken to painting my nails too which has helped to get me kickstarted with the other stuff.

Bearing/posture.

Good scarf: pashmina in Winter; silk in Summer. Good shoes. Good underwear. All contribute to bearing and posture.

Nails, cos its easy and unforgivable not to.

More requires time and energy but re skin care, there was a letter to the Times some years ago from a woman who observed she'd applied face cream with her right hand for 65 years and just realised her right hand was no softer than her left...

I think it's pretty clear so far that 'groomed' and 'effortlessly' don't belong in the same sentence.

But spending loads of money won't necessarily make you look groomed.

It's all about looking as if you have made an effort!

For me that means:
-clean hair that's cut well and if coloured, no roots showing.
-some make up - very few women over 25 look good with absolutely bare faces. You don't have to go overboard but mascara, lippie and a light foundation / blusher take 5 minutes and make a difference.
-nails that are not chipped if wearing dark polish
-feet that are cared for if wearing open shoes

• clothes that FIT and do something for you, rather than looking as if you got dressed with your eyes shut.

This can be nothing more than a pair of good fitting jeans with a top that fits and co-ordinates in some way, a nice handbag that isn't just the frumpy black or navy one, or brown across the body that 'goes with everything' you drag out every day for the last 10 years.

In my critical opinion, women who look 'ungroomed' look as if they have not seen a hairdresser in years (outdated styles, greying hair, roots showing etc), not a hint of make up despite having blotchy or sallow complexions, really outdated boots or shoes with jeans, ditto handbags, horrible, horrible feet and toe nails.

Re what Polly said - this is why I think it's difficult to look groomed if you are overweight. Prob just me but I am overweight in a lumpy way, not an Adele smooth way so even in my size nothing ever really 'fits'

Just to add to the 'fat people can't look groomed' debate (may have paraphrased there), I'm a size 18 and I definitely can looked groomed, expensive, smart, put-together etc etc but hardly ever when I'm doing very casual. So for me, it's all about going a bit smarter, investing in some really well cut pieces that are comfy but smart and feeling confident and happy in myself. I cannot pull off looking good with anything 'athleisure' (shudder) or too grungy. I keep it slightly structured and look bloody fab

I think Adele secret is very good underwear

*adele's

I think it's hard to define 'groomed'. Is it 'fashion' or is it looking neat, tidy and as if you care about how you look?
I saw an old lady today in the supermarket who I'd say looked groomed. She must have been 80+ but her hair ( silver) was cut and styled nicely, she was wearing large pearl earrings and a chunky ish pearl necklace, a flowery shirt which fitted her well and smart grey trousers. She didn't look 'young' or trendy but she looked clean and as if she'd made the effort.

At the same time I saw other women 20 and 30 years younger wearing combat style crops, baggy vest tops, bras that did no good at all, and messy hair.

IMO most young women (under 40) can get away with anything if they have good skin and hair, but when middle age hits you do need to start making more of an effort as youth is not on your side!

investing in some really well cut pieces that are comfy but smart
Yeah I can see that but I don't think I've ever found anything that's comfy and smart it's either/or
I can look 'smooth' with control underwear on but I walk & look like cardboard

Polly, I would say that it's your latter, ie neat and tidy and stylish as opposed to fashionable. My dm and dmil (early 70s) are two of the most groomed, stylish and elegant ladies one can imagine. They have very different styles and are different sizes (12 and 18). Neither ever has a hair out of place, carefully chosen well fitting clothes, both accessorise outfits, even on a casual day, both always have understated make up and painted nails. Neither of them are fashionable both are, as I say very elegant, and commented on as such by everyone.

I try and counteract that with good hair/skin/nails though & I don't wear anything old or holey

I think the OP is hallucinating if she thinks grooming is effortless :) You can look 'understated' and un-made up, but OMG it takes a lot of effort!
Grooming takes time. This morning, I washed my hair and blow dried it which takes me 45 mins in total, shaved my legs, applied wash-off fake tan knees down,, applied make up, chose the 'right' simple jewellery, tried on 2 T shirts to decide which suited the skirt best.

On the comfy but smart pieces, I wear these to death: Baukjen trousers
They're incredibly comfy (the size 18 is pretty good for those with a generous backside) and, I would say, look really good in all sorts of situations. Wear with a heel for smart; flats for more casual.

Or jersey dresses are also, I find, very helpful for nailing the smart casual look BUT personally, I find it's best to go for the more expensive heavy jersey which has a cut and style to it. The cheaper ones are, unfortunately, not going to make the larger person look 'groomed' because they'll hang like a rag.

Adele is not even 30. I would say she looks looks older but a groomed older person.

I think Adele looks frumpy. She's an attractive woman but dresses far too old for her years. I think it's the hairstyle. It's a bit formal and stiff and makes me think of the American female newsreaders you see on CNN.