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Original poster

Looking effortlessly groomed...

215 replies

elliej83 · 14/07/2016 20:09

Hi everyone,

I've been a little glum this week as just find no matter how hard I try I always seem to look a bit unkept.

I have very fine hair which is always wispy no matter if I tie it up or have it down. Shorter styles are even worse to keep. I always seem to have bags under my eyes and just look a little unkept.

I was discussing this with a friend today who said that its one of those things you either have or you don't. Or... You spend a fortune to get.

Does anyone have any tips on looking groomed on a budget?

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 17/07/2016 03:14

I don't think you need to be slim. You need to dress to suit your shape, and own it, and transcend it, whether you are a size 6 or a size 26. It is possible to be a prisoner of your own self image at any size.

You don't need to apologise for taking up space. You have lots to offer the world. You are unique. You are here to bless the world with your presence, and to enjoy everything around you.

brightnearly · 17/07/2016 06:47

Hound Love your post!

That's the difference between being immaculate (and uptight, high maintenance and possibly boring - three shades of taupe wardrobe, my word) and attractive/charismatic!

lasttimeround · 17/07/2016 07:00

I thinkit helps to try to look like your best self rather than some external standard. So for OP work out a good way to deal with your fine hair that works with it rather than fitting it snd feeling defeated when half way through the day your hairs gone off.
Spend some money on quality make up that deals with your under eye bit and forget about it.
I think there's plenty high maintenance stuff that just doesn't help you look better or confident cos youre fighting not enhancing yourself.

WalkingInTheAir13 · 17/07/2016 08:24

I think that it was Coco Chanel that said "There's no such thing as an ugly woman - only a lazy one" 😇

hollieberrie · 17/07/2016 09:25

There's a woman at my work who i fancy / am a bit in awe of. She is kind of effortlessly attractive and interesting. Having observed her a bit borderline obsessive fangirling : she is definitely not classically pretty. But she dresses well (smart casual at my work but she knows what flatters her & looks stylish), has good hair, and is confident. I think that's it really. She is warm, has a good sense of humour, is not afraid to speak up - all these things make her attractive and her clothes and grooming just enhance a bit.

Hubblebubble64 · 17/07/2016 09:40

Noticed questions about tinting hair without getting red tones. When buying hair colour the first number is the shade example 6 is brown, however if you buy 6.4 or 6.6 you are going to end up with red tones as .4/.6 is red an copper tones. Anything with .1 or .2 after the base colour will give you ash pearl tone to your hair.

Floisme · 17/07/2016 09:42

Oi - lazy people over hereGrin

If you enjoy all this stuff then fine but the op was asking for short cuts.

I really don't think most people look at you that closely; they notice two or three things at the most. So my advice is pick your battles: choose a couple of features e.g. from hair, lips, hands, glasses, shoes.... whatever and then yes, throw the kitchen sink at them and make sure they look as good as possible. That's what people will see.

If you enjoy painting your nails, do it but the only people who admire them will be people who are into it too. Everyone else either won't notice or will secretly think 'ew'. And I cannot think of anything more futile than painting toenails when there are so many great shoes around.

JackandDiane · 17/07/2016 11:24

Agree with math. As you get older you know yourself better and accept somethings will never change. I've never been more body confident. I'm 46

wizzywig · 17/07/2016 11:45

Im finding in the eternal quest to look well put together, im dressing a lot older for my age. Eg, i see kate middletons mum and mary berry and think "id wear that". And im 40

SwedishEdith · 17/07/2016 12:10

Agree with confidence, hair and posture. I never notice nails or bags because I have no interest in them. So, you're only appealing to people like you if you bother about that stuff.

SwedishEdith · 17/07/2016 12:11

I suspect Coco Chanel wasn't very nice

Daisygarden · 17/07/2016 13:03

Bluefolly I have been from a size 8 to a 16. Pre-children an 8-10, during children a 14-16 and now (after a lot of effort) an 8.

I do feel that clothes hang better now I'm a size 8. They look like I want them to look, if that makes sense. Tunics don't get stuck on my bum, sleeveless dresses flatter my arms instead of making them look like sausages.

I was a 12 for a long time and although I was happy not to be a 12-14, I definitely get more looked-at and complimented now I'm an 8, not by men, but more women. I don't think my style has changed massively but overall it just looks more appealing to have slimmer arms and legs with a summer dress. I always felt a bit chunky and galumphing in a summer dress as a 12-14 even though it's (apparently) slimmer than the national average.

But even though I'm an 8, I still don't have a pert bum or slim thighs. They fit size 8 clothes but they don't look toned, it just looks like thinner wobbly bum and legs. I wobble in a swimming costume for example. There's a girl at work who is a 12 and she looks slimmer because she's toned.

So even being a size 8 doesn't mean everything is perfect and I feel great in everything.

Daisygarden · 17/07/2016 13:05

*was happy to be a size 12-14

falange · 17/07/2016 16:26

Get one of those babyliss big hair electric brush things. They are really good for putting volume into fine hair.

noiwontmoveover · 17/07/2016 16:45

It's not what you wear, it's how you wear it.

I work with a woman who mainly wears jeans.

She looks 10X smarter than most of my other work colleagues, who wear skirts and 'smart' trousers.
Why?
I've observed her Hmm

She always wears jeans that are cut perfectly and suit her figure.
They are always a perfect length.
I asked her how she managed it. She said that she always buys two pairs in different lengths - one to wear with flats, the other with heels.
She's slim sorry
Her hair is always perfectly cut and highlighted.

The crazy thing is, the others, who are trying to wear the 'right things' to look smart, end up looking like lumpy, frumpy bag ladies in comparison.

So it's not always down to what you're wearing.

noiwontmoveover · 17/07/2016 16:48

Get one of those babyliss big hair electric brush things. They are really good for putting volume into fine hair.

Agree about 'bigging' your hair up.

Flat hair makes you look cheap.
I read an article once and it said that if you're aiming to get an upgrade (airline) then go to the ladies and backcomb your hair. Then ask for an upgrade.
You're more likely to get it with 'big' hair.

noiwontmoveover · 17/07/2016 16:48

Of course, flat LONG hair doesn't look as bad.

noiwontmoveover · 17/07/2016 16:52

suspect Coco Chanel wasn't very nice

who cares Grin

kate33 · 17/07/2016 17:02

Houndof -absolutely love what you've written about confidence! So true.

UnderseaPineapple · 17/07/2016 17:04

What's wrong with red toned hair? I'm ginger. Does that mean I don't look polished?

Mingdog99 · 17/07/2016 17:15

Haven't read all posts so may be repeating but I once read that the easiest way to perk up your look is to put lipstick on and sunglasses on eyes or perched on head. I'm trying to start wearing lipstick more often as I do look a little deathly without and I don't like blusher much. I feel more groomed when it's on.

squoosh · 17/07/2016 17:19

'What's wrong with red toned hair? I'm ginger. Does that mean I don't look polished?'

They're talking about brown hair dye that doesn't have that reddish tinge to it.

derxa · 17/07/2016 17:30

Place marking.
It takes money and effort. Of course it does. I'm fat at the moment and have lost my get up and go. Perhaps this thread will inspire me.

AdoraBell · 17/07/2016 17:41

You're perfect Pineapple, as squoosh said, it's the dyes they were referring to.

VerbenaGirl · 17/07/2016 17:55

I'm no expert, as the groomed look largely evades me too. But I do think that in summer, having 'looked after' feet really makes a difference. Moisturise every few nights and keep toenails neatly painted. Gel is a marvellous thing! I've seen really well turned out women really let down by cracked heels.