The Crepey Buds Of May

[GiddyGiddyGoat]

Err, how did that happen with no one noticing!
It's because we're all on the dark and stormy, sloe gin and prosecco innit.

Sorry for the not v inspired title but I panicked.

Yes, I get you MI. As Auriga said, ease yourself in gently.

I lurk on The Archers thread too but couldn't see what that emoji was (too small!).

Finished with science forevah !!!!! I am satisfiedly (not a real word) putting all the physics past papers DD has done over weeks and weeks in the recycling bin. DD said it was ok...she insisted on continuing with her muted birthday arrangements of a trip to the mall to buy the Adidas Superstars, which is her present from me and DH, and then supper at Pizza Express. She really isn't very well, though. She have left to do: Maths non calc tomorrow and then after half term in no partic order, Maths Calc, English, food tech written paper and two religious studies papers. DS has done all the MFL orals but has all the written stuff yet to come, in June. He has been going into school to work there...told me just now he had a bit of a turn, where he was laughing at something and then found himself crying. Had to go for a walk to deal with it. What are we doing to our children?

Archers....never listened to it. Clearly I am missing out on something...?

Crem that's miserable...can someone not stop this bully? Play her at her own game? Shall I come and give her the evil eye?

I have had a long telephone meeting with sexy director, who has a tendency to be somewhat bullish towards me when ConS isn't around. We are moving on but there's so much on my shoulders and he gives me all this "homework"... ConS is in production week for show outside London and I wish he'd come back and help me....

....and finally, Beachy and I have arranged a mini MU on Friday afternoon. Hurrah

Exams. Still get all anxious around this time of year, as if I'm supposed to be DOING something. Like taking an exam....

Much excitement this morn. Got to adult ed place, armed with materials for two lessons, and all was gloomy, with the mysterious sound of dripping water. There was a flood! On the second floor! The water tank had been overflowing all night, and had soaked the third and second floors below. Most of the computers, smart boards, projectors are scuppered, and lots of the furniture has taken a battering. God knows when the building will be up and running again. It's so grim anyway. We rent it from the council, who never repair it as it's due for 'redevelopment' anyway. This incident may hasten its demise...

Hello all. MI, sooo glad to hear you had a richly deserved break in what looked like lovely, sunny Sardinia. I bet it feels most odd to come back to real life, though.

Ah, Auriga, I am very sad to hear about your d-aunt. What a lot of sadness for your family. Glad to hear your luminous dd is weathering the stress of exams ok.

BTM, darn it, what a mess for your poor dd with that wrong exam paper. Hope your dh gave the school a proper roasting. Their exams officer needs a massive kick up the arse. Hideous mistake and big, big kudos to dd for re-doing the exam. I bet that will have given her confidence a huge boost, in fact.

Herbs, go you, Grammar Girl! :)

I cannot keep up with the thread in these times of horribly long working days and too much to do. Had a great, if slightly surreal, time last w/e with my old German university pal and her dh. They have no dcs and her dh is v besotted with my ds and brought him most splendid presents. Ds was well pleased and now thinks he is going to Morocco for his next holidays. There was talk of visiting my dfriend's inlaws in the desert and ds is most taken with this idea. Dh, however, would rather eat his own feet than go to North Africa for his hols. I think dh will be left at home boiling his toes...

Exam stress. Feh. Exam stress. And feh again. Dd is possibly noticing that not going to school for the best part of 18 months and then doing a bunch of public exams is, er, unwise. She is losing the plot and I have had to spend a large amount of time this evening in instructing dh in how NOT to inflame the situation. He mainly doesn't get it. Because he's not her bio-dad, he doesn't really give two shits, in all honesty. I find this... trying. I am prepared for a) dd refusing to do any more exams or b) complete dreadfulness on results day. And trying to continue to tackle everything on a "one day at a time" basis.

Re: work - I have continued to kick arses all week and not been kicked out myself - as yet. I am taking a Senior Person's advice and making friends with lots of jolly folks. I want to go out drinking with the younger members of staff and be disreputable, but this is prob not what the Senior Person meant. I am already bored with being an Old Bag and I haven't even been one for very long. Boo.

MrsS, I am hoping that you are finding some consolation in the idea of the Shitten living in the lap of luxury in her new home and hopefully no longer crapping on any bathmats. Or anywhere else. I am so sorry that you got chopped about last week and then had a stinky train journey of sadness all the way to Scotland at the w/e. Hope yr dh has been nice at least once since Sunday.

Mrs S - I was made aware of an artiste named DJ Shitmat today. I thought of you.

I have to say it was quite discomfiting to realise how much older I was than everyone else last week. I slightly yearned for you lot to be Crepey with.

Another day, another dollar.....DD1 has now completed her single GCSE, DS is gearing up for the last two exams before half term - Maths (which he really wants to do well in) and Poetry (which he couldn't give two shiny s**ts about; he is not impressed with the fact that he has to go into school on Friday's INSET day to sit the exam).

The Ruched Top arrived - it is very sturdy and structured, and the ruching almost ( but not quite) disguised the rolls of flab around my midriff. I did get it for very little (15% off, free postage and £10 voucher) and I think it will be useful, as long as the bottom half is flowy/loose.

Great Primarni haul, Herbs. It is a marvellous place for a cheap splurge (FYI, Sainsburys have 25% off clothing at the moment). Meanwhile, I just took delivery of a gorgeous dark denim Boden pencil skirt, purchased on eBay for £3. Also marvellous.

I used my (expired) Boden voucher last night, as nothing ventured, nothing gained, and it went through. Unfortunately I wasn't paying attention and ordered the wrong size, so now trying to sort that out.

Am having coffee today with a friend who told me yesterday that she is having an affair (she was obviously bursting to get this out, and is going to spill full beans today). She is the fourth friend of mine to do this - and for the same reason as the others - her husband has no interest in sex and hasn't for ages. I think, unlike the others, that she will leave him, though.

MrsS, I wish I'd thought to try that!

at all your friends having affairs - sounds like it will be an interesting coffee!

CV, I bought mine to specifically wear with a flowy skirt. I am sure the ruching doesn't hide the spare tyre, but what the hell!

It's a dangerous game isn't it, the old affair route out of a relationship? I guess it's ok if both of the married partners agree on it, but that's like removing the most interesting bit. I'm pretty sure these things tend not to end well, but can understand the draw of being desired in that way again, just when you thought It Was All Over in that department.
Sad to think so many are at it Mrs S. Statistically , no surprise though.

Terrible terrible nights sleep here, with wild dreams involving Bono of off U2 ( recent trip to Dublin probably to blame , and NO not in that way ) plus agony of hands all trussed up in the splints all night, throbbing and aching and forcing me awake. Plus nasty bully cow bag haunting me.
She has been diciplined, cajoled, bribed and confronted, but still persists in making everyone's day a little bit harder, tortuous and unhappy. Always slightly under the radar, but ever present. I keep her at bay, by not responding to her in any way, but it's the subliminal background noise she emits that is hard to bear some days.

Air B&B laydeez we are booked Details to follow.

Gosh...affairs so increasingly common. That's scary!

stropps good on you for kicking Arse at work. And there's no need to be an old bag if you don't want to...it's a state of mind. I still think old bags have more fun than old gits, especially if MrsS 's friends are anything to go by

Poor DD has gone off to take her maths paper absolutely full of cold. She was up in the night coughing and I had to go in to her at 1am and try and sort her out. I emailed the year 11 pastoral staff to ask them to keep an eye, but they haven't replied. Just our luck. Maths is her weakest subject. She isn't predicted to pass, so I guess it makes no odds in the long run. Just depressing though, after all the work we've done to try and bring her grade up. Boo.

She sounds toxic crem . Leave the bitch.

Poor dd, Rose.

Crem, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that karma will come back to bite your co-worker on the bum. When are you having surgery on your poorly hands? I'm so sorry to hear you have to have another surgical intervention. Simply not fair.

Re: affairs - apart from all other considerations (ahem), I simply couldn't be arsed. I've not got the emotional energy or time to spare. I think some people do it in midlife because it makes them feel young again and is a buffer against thoughts of crumbliness (the next stage on from crepeydom) and death. However, if it all ends badly, it must surely leave them feeling a lot worse about everything. Or is it all worth it for a furtive shag or two?

Rose, I reckon that being a certain age just means that I'm an old bag, even if I wear my Boden coral cropped cardie rather than my Uniqlo beige waterfall one. As ds is still of primary age, most of my mum-friends are quite a bit younger than I am and when I listen to the conversations of people who still have both their grandparents around, nevermind both their parents, I tend to end up feeling old and, as MI says, wanting to hang out with other crepeys instead.

Understand stropps I am the eldest of all my friends (except ConS who is ancient) and was nearly the oldest at the primary school gates, having had DD at nearly 40. So that makes me an old bag too....but I like it somehow. There are plenty younger than we Crepeys, who have old bag attitudes to things which I try to avoid....although I also like a bit of bosom hoiking and cats bum face too And a tunic with leggings. I do love a tunic with leggings, it must be said.

Am waiting locally for DD to text at the end of the exam. The HOY did email me eventually with a reassuring message, that she had informed the exam officers to keep a look out for DD. I am hoping that once home, I can leave her on the sofa watching movies as I have a friend's 50th birthday lunch to go to at the pub.

I'm so glad we don't have exams this year - I'm already dreading this time next year when ds will be taking them.

In style and beauty news, I am loving this little number. I wore it last week to a lovely garden party with white floppy linen trousers.

Could you cross all your wobbly bits for me? I have my 'not an interview' at lunchtime today......

Very much looking to seeing Rose tomorrow- it has been a fraught week...

And yeah for the Air BNB, can we have matching pj's?

Yes, yellow gingham ones Beachy. Like Doris Day will pm you lot later, after a run to tame eyebrows and a nice chat with the Threading Lady.

Very very good lock for lunchtime Beachy. They wound be lucky to have you.

I feel creakier by the second and alarmed ar the amount if things that need fixing. Stropps they cant give me a date for surgery. Im on a list. It better not land in September or you will have to feed me in the manner of Roman Orgy.

Just clicked on the Zara top! I have that!!! Bell cuffs are THE thing apaz!

For some reason DD1 has a crop of friends whose mothers are pleasantly crepey. DD2 less so, including a few lissom young women who are still just about tipping into their mid-30s...

I am writing an application for something I won't get but needs the time to focus on it. I have almost certainly wasted a day, but if I don't do it properly I'll feel worse.

Any suggestions for lunch venues where I and my fellow-inmates might go for my birthday? It's three days after my mum's funeral so as DP points out we could splash out...

Wobbly bits crossed for you, Beachy (nice top!).

And for your DD, Rose. Poor lamb doing exams with a stinking cold. DS has just appeared to beg for the bus fare home - he said that this morning's Maths paper was felt by many to be quite a tough one, but he is confident he's done OK. He's predicted a C, but might swing a B with the wind behind him (and we'll be delighted if he does).

at the thought of the AirBnB-ers in matching PJs. I picture the scene in Grease where you are all lying about doing beauty treatments, piercing each other's ears, and teasing "Sandra D".

Agree old bagness a state of mind although worry I'm in denial. Especially when younger people aren't remotely surprised when they find out I'm nearly 50.
Good luck today Beachy!
Rose, very glad to hear your Hosp visit was positive. Must be a shit thing to have to go through every year.
Addle sorry you had a crap honeymoon. Was it Portugal's fault.
My work thing in Paris was a hoot. Worked hard had loads of fun. Ate like foie gras goose.

I did a classic WAF thing earlier and 'helped' a 90 year old woman with dementia back to her home...only it wasn't where I thought. It was actually v near where I'd found her and I'd walked her round a massive block. We had a nice time but I feel like a right wally and a bit guilty for the enforced exercise she had.

@ Grease-y crepeys

Fingers crossed for the outcome of your ds's maths exam, CV.

Beachy, lovely top. I want that! Best of luck for the non-interview interview.

Crepsters, I need suggests for new stress management techniques. My current ones are a) doing a circuits class and b) drinking too much and being unreasonably cross about anything and everything. The circuits class is proving tricky to fit in on work nights and it is also perhaps no longer the wisest choice as my back objects to any high-impact stuff and my cronky shoulder objects to lifting any weights or doing much in the way of press-ups. The problem with drinking too much - aside from its general all-round inadvisability, that is - is that I get ranty with dh in the manner of "and then there was that thing that you said to me on July 24th 2006 that was completely unacceptable and is still pissing me off. And then there was that time in 2007 when you did a similar thing and that is still pissing me off as well. And then..." etc etc. It is prob not the best way to nurture a relationship. I don't drink enough to have a hangover exactly (usually only 2 glasses of wine does it, frankly, as I have extremely low tolerance of alchohol), but the next day I find myself infinitely more stupid than usual and often waste a couple of hours staring at a screen with my mouth half-open, looking like an elderly and extremely dimwitted bulldog. This term, I seem to have done this at the end of every week. What shall I do instead?

Aww, WAF, well done for giving an elderly person some exercise. Glad your work w/e in Paris was fab.

Stropps, when the Mindfulness laydee came in to do INSET, one of my lovely colleagues suggested that alcohol works well for many of us she wasn't impressed at all - perhaps you could try the opposite, ie Mindfulness? I am afraid it hasn't really worked for me, whilst a few drinks is usually quite a tonic

WAF, glad you had a great time in Paris. I have the wrong kind of job.

Cremo, you poor thing. Glad you have a partaay and Air bnb to look forward too.

Love the top!

Beachy, I am crossing everything for you (wobbly and not)!
CV and Rose, fingers crossed - I will be in the same situation in a years time - can't wait!

DD is finished! She is now at her old school visiting her favourite old teachers

Thinking about you over lunchtime, Beachy. I hope it's going well? I love the top, by the way.

Poor DD, Rose. A quiet afternoon to recover sounds just about right. Good news that your appointment turned out well on Monday.

Crem, so sorry to hear that you are still in so much pain. We should have 'talked' overnight as I was awake from 3 and didn't get back to sleep.

Am a bit about all these affairs - how do they find time? And why talk about it, anyway.

Stropps, no advice from me re unwinding: at the moment I feel like a tightly wound up clock.

Our appointments have all gone relatively well: at last I have been discharged from the dental hospital. DH needn't go to the heart hospital for another six months, physio going well. I have visited the hairdresser and am considerably lighter around the ears. Mani and pedi on Saturday.

The house is getting emptier by the day, but they're still here atm. Sigh. I am just desperate to get the house clean and tidy before we go to Leicestershire to visit our friend next week.

And it's pouring, so every time someone comes in, the place gets dirtier.