The Crepey Buds Of May

[GiddyGiddyGoat]

Err, how did that happen with no one noticing!
It's because we're all on the dark and stormy, sloe gin and prosecco innit.

Sorry for the not v inspired title but I panicked.

Crem - I had a bridge since my twenties - I had a canine that never came down and they didn't dare touch. The bridge finally broke and now they have MRI scanning - hence my braces to pull down the canine - I finally have a real tooth instead of the bridge.

I am having a wardrobe panic about family party on Sunday. I'm too fat for most of my clothes. And hate my arms so my summer dresses won't do without a cardi. So need cardis. That go in at the waist - a rare item indeed. Just found two bargainacious John Smedley numbers in TKMaxx, but managed to resist as they were too boxy. Like every other bloody garment in the world.

Herbs - I think Boden cardis are a bit shaped - their t shirts are - that's why I like them - give me a vague form as opposed to straight up and down.

Food cupboard cleaned - no further ants spotted plus quiche made - I have been very industrious whilst listening to Woman's Hour. Off to school now.

BTM, good for dd. Hope the school do tighten up - there shouldn't be "spare" exam copies floating around anyway, I think.

I find cardies impossible nork-wise.

Why aren't clothes made for people equipped with tits and arse? ie women? So many otherwise lovely tops look like shapeless sacks on my form.

Hatty - apparently it's the season where ants are sent from their nests to look for food to feed their young. They won't last long. I quite like them, but then I like mice too so you probably don't want to take a leaf out of my kitchen hygiene book!

Sorry about the ongoing tooth trauma Crem, Hatty I dread the thought of any major dental work....I never had orthodontics, although I'm a bit goofy and probably needed it.

Herbs Ive always had that problem...although no very large bobs til more recently. Hasn't Woolovers got anything? I got a few from M&S a few years ago, so got them in blue, black and red to stock up. like these

short sleeved but less shaped

Have sold a Coast jumpsuit for £25 plus postage! Previous dresses went for £7.99 and £18.98 plus postage. Have now listed two pairs of shoes, one new one worn once. We'll see.

Having a day of physics revision with a not very well DD who seems to be going down with something. Then, I have to pick up DM from hospital where she will have had her second cataract operation. Feeling sad about remembering DDad as facebookers will have seen. Today would have been his birthday.

Herbs - the Boden cropped cardigan would be brill to highlight your waist. They are waist length, so not too cropped, but would go in when you do and make you look very shapely. Sympathies on the boobs. I have enormous knockers and no waist, so I am very envious of anyone who goes in at all!

Which dress are you wearing? The nice Sainsbury's one with the houses on it from last year? I loved it but they only had the 8s and the 20s left by the time I found it.

Johnnie didn't send me a voucher, the miserable posh swine, but he did send DH one (even though DH has never bought from him) so I will see if that has expired. Am inspired by Mrs S's dress and the longer shorts.

More later. Just having a brain break from hideous work at the moment.

Ah bugger, my B voucher has also expired. Never mind. I would have ended up spending much more just to use it.
Herbs, I know what you mean about arms. And cardis. Hopeless isn't it?

So, projected bill from dentist will be £800 give or take, for naice porcelain filling plus decent looking crown. I know that is not too bad by other standards, but I just don't have it 'lying around'.
[doom]

Rose, Im sorry about your feelings of loss all over again. Much love.

Herbs - if that's the case re ants and food I'd better blitz the teenage bedroomd pronto.

I am today wearing my Boden curved waist dress and a cropped cardigan in orange cashmere. There is a Boden code that I got from MNet that gave me 25% off, so better than the £10 voucher. I like the cropped carries - they pull you in at the middle and feel less Frumpy than full length. As the dress is a bit low, I wore a bra that matches the Carrie so that if it showed, it would look "meant".

And saw that "someone" had noticed my bra and had gone a lovely shade of puce.

Puce and orange are a nasty combo, Mrs S!

Monty - v well remembered re my Sainsbury's frock! I was indeed thinking of that one, if I can do it up. Re cardis, bit late to start ordering online, as do is on Sunday. Though perhaps lovely Boden can pull something out of the proverbial? I'm sure Johnny has sent me a begging email recently.

I've also rather fallen in love with this Cos dress, which is most unlike it's usual Soviet Asylum Orderly look. The model, however, appears to have no tits at all, which is unfortunate (for both her, and it's potential to fit me).

Crikey Herbs, that model looks even more flat chested than me, so maybe you would just give it more shape?! And the sleeves are huge though I'm sure my legs-of-mutton could fill them - could you go and try it on?

MrsS, you sound very coordinated today!

Cremo, it's horrifying how much dentistry costs, isn't it? I am going for a crown replacement on Friday after work (only time they could fit me in - I wonder why!) and I bet it's going to be an arm and a leg never mind the forthcoming 4 (IV) implants

On a Friday, btm? That's no fun. How is dd today? And never thought Ild hear that about her old school!
Beautiful late afternoon. Perfect for an aperol spritz . Which I won't be happening as it's only Tuesday. Very rigid as inclined to excess.

Mrs S - You can combine your Boden code with the voucher for a bargainous price. It's not either or.

Cos looks like its for very tall women to me.

Herbs, as you know I'm a huge Cos fan - [I like it a lot not I am HUGE, although...]
I have tried that dress on. It was terrible on me and really thin flimsy fabric which I think was meant to be wafty but on me just looked awful. So don't recommend.
This shirt dress is lovely and this navy with sleeves is very flattering in real life. I wore the second one to a smart bar mitzvah recently and it got compliments...

Now you see, GGG, that second number is yer typical cos. I admire its shape, and it is striking, but she stuck out the front by my knockers wouldn't it look like I filled the entire garment, like Augustus Gloop, post blueberry incident?

It would also scare the horses at family do. Aunt is a fan of Chanel type suits, and the cousins were in jaeger and twinsets on their twenties.

.... the Cos models all look well pissed off.

Herbs like the navy number , but I do look at the cotton content and feel weak about ironing out creases.
I subscribe to that Cos paper bag dress look, but due to norks, it's just a fail. Like the second one GGG .
What about a bolero jacket Herbs, a soft one or is that too 80's?
What colour is the dress?
Chanel suits? Crikeyjthat sounds competitive
It would make me feel rebellious.

These are the cousins our mutual grandma used to pit us against. And it turns out she did the same to them. They are all v slim, go brown v easily, and are very good-looking. One is a QC. Another is a GP. The do is in Putney. I have looked up the house on Zoopla, and it's worth four times this one.

Hence my secret smugness in wearing a Sainsbury's clothing, charity shop cardi, and secondhand birkenstocks.

Addle, yes, who'd have known it! But DD gave the Exams Officer chapter and verse, apparently, on how good the old school was and exactly what they did and told her that they should tighten up their procedures Will PM you!

GGG, love the second dress. I would also worry about Augustus Gloopiness, but I might try it if I ever get to go shopping!

Herbs, just do it - they sound like BORING Tories

I can't get on with Cos, I just can't.

I did manage to sneak in before the deadline with my £10 Boden voucher and bought this Ruched Top in the green. I thought it might be a nod to the current off-the-shoulder trend, but it doesn't look as though you'd have to spend all day hoiking it up (I can't be doing with hoiking). It remains to be seen how kind the ruching is to my wobbly midriff. Addle - I was very tempted by the ruched skirts but didn't fancy any of the colours. I have a stripy one already (Sainsburys!).

Rose - we're deep in Physics too (well, DD1 is). DS has a day off tomorrow, but Maths and English Lit (Poetry - gah!) later in the week. He's flagging.....and he has a stinker of a week after half term.

Why do I come home every Tuesday to find all the computers are f**ked? #whyimgivingupwork

Only five more weeks!

I don't understand Cos trousers. Or indeed most trousers this season. Where can I buy normal-shaped trousers, crepeys? I don't do advanced shapes (partly because three-quarter length trousers are usually full length on me, so any advanced shaping is in the wrong place).

Like the dresses, GGG, and CV, in an rash of ruche enthusiasm, I considered those tops but was thwarted by the bra situation (for me).

I rather fancy the ruched top, too, leaping upon the crepey bandwagon. But it's a bit pricey, even with discount. I am SO POOR.

Rosebag, and other professional 'educators'. I am considering running evening 'workshops' for parents teaching them the grammar their children are being taught. I'm going to supply wine to make it 'fun'. What would you think would be a going rate to charge?