Please help, I look awful

[katemiddletonsnudeheels]

The really sad thing is that I do try, after a fashion. I:

• have my nails filed and polished
• eyebrows, legs and bikini line waxed
• hair highlighted and trimmed every 6-8 weeks

I still look dreadful.

• the main issue, which I recognise just can't be solved 'overnight' is my weight (please, no advice on this - I am working on it) however it means that clothes are an ongoing battle. Everything I buy makes me look fat which isn't shocking as I AM fat but I've no sort of style. I wear trousers, black or grey, to work, with a top and cardigan of some description. Bras are so uncomfortable I don't bother.

• my skin is so dry, especially around my mouth and chin, and the bottom of my nose. I put on foundation but it flakes off. However I also get spots

• I only wear foundation and mascara, don't suit lipstick or eyeshadow at all.

• my hair isn't really in any sort of style.

Well, it's a pretty bleak list but if anyone can help ... :)

Bra - what about those pull on ones? I have a couple of very supportive ones - sports type. Good supportive underwear will give you a shape.

Skin - Avene triacneal at night to sort out the spots and Olay (non-spot causing)
in the day with a few drops of jojoba oil (jojoba oil is not an oil, its a type of wax and if Acne.org recommend it it must be ok for spotty skin!)

What a about a dress with a waist clinching belt, would that appeal?

Have a look at pinterest and find an outfit that you like the look of.

I do sometimes wear a bit of mascara but I don't really want to draw attention to myself at the moment.

Jaw length Bob, I've had before and don't really suit as it draws attention to my face.

Hard to say which is my widest spot! All equally as bad I'd say.

There's loads of beautiful stuff on Pinterest, but it really would look rubbish on me.

I just found this on Pinterest, which explains exactly what I mean. I guessed you are an apple shape, and searched for clothing for Apple shaped women.

Thank you:)

Well honestly, 16-18 is big at your height, but it's not massive. Try and be a bit nicer to yourself!

Have a look at other bigger women- would you look good in bolder colours? Ethnic style? More tailored? Pick something you like on others if you can't decide for yourself- then say, well what would X wear?

If clothes are a step too far at the moment, buy some nice accessories- a bag, shoes, earrings for example.

Try the skin care tips above, and do you do any exercise? A walk at lunchtime (in the sun if we get any!) will give you vitamin d and boost circulation which is good for skin and mood.

Try and do fun things, smiley people always look better than sad ones!

For bras, you can measure yourself - follow this method:
thebetterbracampaign.blogspot.co.uk/p/fitting-advice.html

If you post your measurements, then the MN bra gurus will help you! Or you can work it out yourself if you prefer.

You need to measure under your bust, pulling the tape quite firmly - that is the bra band measurement (none of this "add 4 inches" nonsense that M&S etc still do). If you're between sizes, then probably size down. Then measure around your boobs while leaning forward. This sounds really scary (or did to me at least!) but go with it! Then for every inch that measures more than your underbust measurement, go up a cup size - it starts at an A cup for 1" more and goes: A,B,C,D,DD,E,F,FF,G,GG,H,HH,J,JJ,K,KK,L... The bra size you get will then be your starting point to trying a load of new bras. If you're D cup or above, Bravissimo may be your best bet. You may need to try a few different styles and a few sizes around your starting point to get your perfect bra.

It sounds like a massive hassle, but seriously, it is so worth it - it makes such a difference to how you feel and look.

Just looking, and loads of great ideas for plus sizes and suggestions from Asos on Pinterest. You have confidence enough to have your bikini line waxed, which is more than me 😉

More desperation! it was like a forest down there!

Well honestly, 16-18 is big at your height, but it's not massive. Try and be a bit nicer to yourself!

^^this exactly! . Easier said than done sometimes I know.

Try following some plus size bloggers for some ideas. I like the 12ish and the Curvy Fashionista (I follow on Facebook but I'm sure they have blogs too).

I dont wear a bra OP, you are not alone! I hate them, so uncomfy. I have quite small boobs so dont need the support really.

Re: hair, what about putting your hair up? I have a bit of a chubby face ( ) and i feel so much slimmer looking and nicer with my hair up - even just a messy bun can look really nice if i get the front right - parting in the right place, some loose strands etc.

I have small eyes too so i feel you - i dont wear a lot of make up but i tightline (bit of eyeliner or pencil wiggled into the lash line, but fairly natural looking) and then mascara - i find that the tightlining makes my eyes look bigger (unlike waterlining a la Kate Middleton) and makes a good difference to my face - makes me look like a better version of myself.

Throw a bit of money at it and buy some Vichy for your face.

Either buy Cleanser and Toner or buy this facial wash. Also buy Moisturiser.

If you use these (or anything from their range) then within three or four weeks your skin will look great.

I haven't got any style tips but you really shouldn't say those things to yourself. Would you ever tell your best friend that their head blended in to their neck?!
Try a Paul McKenna CD, start going to a yoga class, and don't worry about what you look like

Honestly, no weight loss advice - please :)

Unfortunately yoga is out due to a severe and ongoing back problem, which makes me walk like I've pood in my pants!

Another one on the 'wear a bra' chorus - it really will make such a difference to your silhouette and, in turn, your posture.

And yes, please be kinder to yourself

I don't mean for the weight loss, I mean for self esteem and confidence boosting kate.

OP, you really are not that big.

Get a bra.

What are you fave features?

I know you said eyes, what else? Hands? Lower legs? Lower arms.

Show these off. Hide the bits you don't like. Every woman does this.

Drink lots of water. Moisturize. Smile.

Maybe not yoga then but try something therapeutic like accupuncture. Could be great for posture.

Could you manage pilates? This might give you a bit of time for yourself?

First off, your self esteem is on the floor. Stop writing yourself off and focusing on your flaws! There are plenty of big women that look great and half the battle is self confidence and poise. It's great you want to lose weight but don't put your life on hold while you do or think that it will solve everything.

Try to list your good points, inside and out, smile at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you look great.

How about a comfy sports bra, and statement jewellery?

I think you would look great in layered clothes. Copy people's style that you admire if you feel a bit lost.
There are some beautiful light waterfall cardigans around at the moment.
Also try mixing up fabrics and textures.
There are moisturisers that are oil free for problem skin. I like the clean and clear range.
Above all, be kind to yourself. If you keep looking at yourself so negatively things won't improve.

OP I'm 5'3" and a 16-18. My norks are 36HH - if I didn't wear a bra I'd be arrested for public indecency. Seriously though, I know you said you don't like bras. But they make a massive difference to your shape - and how your clothes fit and look. Bravissimo do non wired ones - hell wear maternity ones if you like - but do at least try. If it's any consolation mine comes off the minute I get in after school pick up.

I too am on a journey of weight loss and feeling better in myself - I am stuck in a clothes rut and refuse to buy any in a bigger size. If you want a buddy then feel free to PM me. Please do try the bra though

I don't know how much your willing to invest in skincare when I manage to save up I always get Origins brand they're all natural products. The face cleanser (Ginzing) has wax beads in it and works wonders on my dry patches! They also have a stronger Exfoliator and a day and night cream. The night cream is so rich but dries quickly and feels amazing!
I get the GinZing Face wash, Exfoliating pads and Face cream and usually get a sample (about 30ml) of the DrinkUp Intensive night cream/mask for free
It's made a huge difference to how my foundation looks.
But the ladies are more than happy to advise and help In terms of what products suit you best.

I don't think you are in the right frame of mind to change at the moment.

You're probably right insofar as I feel I'm just fat, so why not wait until I lose weight, but I have to be photographed every day at work and it depresses me.

I'd just focus on the weight loss, get that done as quickly as possible. It's really hard to feel good in clothes when you're heavy. I've been an 18 and an 8, and every size in between, and the difference in how I look (in clothes and out!) is ASTOUNDING.

Can you ramp up your efforts? So not a WW "1lb a month" pace, but a proper diet/exercise plan where it comes off quickly?