Given that (unless we're really, really unlucky) we're all going to be middle-aged some day (already there myself) I think you should just wear what you like. With the following caveats:
Anything marketed at The Young is out:
Anything that has a matching male fragrance is out:
Anything that announces itself before you enter a room is out.
My middle-aged frags, in terms of ones I've started wearing since I hit middle age: Philosykos, Tarocco, Tam Dao (all Diptque), Ormonde Woman, Premier Fiquier, Safran Troublant (both Artisan Parfumeur), Terre des Bois, Figue Amere, Petit Grain (all Miller Harris), Hermes Santal Massoia, Origins Ginger Essence. I love all of them.