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Original poster

Crepe Fear!

999 replies

GiddyGiddyGoat · 11/10/2015 18:13

Ta Da.

OP posts:
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bigTillyMint · 18/10/2015 13:50

I know what you mean about sorting things out - it basically falls to me nearly all the time, though since starting secondary (and particularly with DS) he has been more proactive, thank God! Thing is, the DC always come to me first because they know I'm a softer touch than him (quite the opposite at primary!)
I'm sure he and DS will manage fabulously whilst DD and I are away - wall-to-wall sport and take-aways or MIL'sGrin

Auriga · 18/10/2015 14:28

Sorting things out. Yep. After I did absolutely everything for DD's birthday (except write his name on the card) DH volunteered to help with some of the preparations for today by baking a cake.

I left all the dry ingredients already weighed out and mixed, the book open at the right page. He didn't do it. Watched the cricket instead. He didn't do any cleaning, washing up, laundry or anything else either (my cleaner cancelled on me this week).

Today as I was baking, he started to make breakfast but then had to stop as he had a nose-bleed. And now he's gone to a three-hour rehearsal he forgot to tell me about. I know I shouldn't blame him for the nose-bleed but it made me unreasonably furious Sad

I know what you mean about not expecting change, Stropps. In some ways it's harder to get him to do things than to do them myself. I went through a phase of making lists for him but it didn't help. He forgets to put the rubbish out every week as well

bigTillyMint · 18/10/2015 14:38

Oh dear Auriga, even my DH manages to put the rubbish out! I find telling him to do stuff I want done is very effective. I imagine my naturally bossy personality years as a primary school teacher mean that I have no problem with doing this!

Stropperella · 18/10/2015 15:01

Ha, BTM, I can assure you I have no problem telling dh what I want done, but exactly like Auriga's dh, he usually forgets to do it. This results in me telling him to do something and then standing over him until he's done it. This gets very bad-tempered and he'll still forget next time. After being here for 13 years, he still doesn't know when to put the rubbish out. That's after 13 years of me telling him and him choosing not to remember. Which is why I'm a bit testy.
Auriga that whole cake/cricket/breakfast/nosebleed/rehearsal thing would have really got my goat. If I had any goats left to get. Which I don't think I have

hattymattie · 18/10/2015 16:39

Auriga - very very annoying of your husband and very good timing with his nose bleed. He should have listened to the cricket on the radio whilst making the cake.

Rose - so sad re DF. Flowers;

DD2 is finalising her personal statement so we're just about to press "go" for the second time around of UCAS.

Here, I'm getting my knickers in a twist as she's asked for copies of all my certificates for this CA post and I only have my degrees here. My O and A levels are possibly in the attic at my parents house but I don't really want them to go up searching. I think I'll just send in my degree and hope this is enough. I feel I'm now going to have to turn down this job as I cannot provide proof of my school exams, even though I have a BSc and MA!

bigTillyMint · 18/10/2015 17:17

Stropps, it would have been his head and not the binGrin

I agree hatty - surely degree and MA will be enough!

Just been out for a walk in the park with friend and her dog - feeling all autumnSmile

hattymattie · 18/10/2015 17:22

This is when I would like a dog BTM - it would have got me out instead of sitting here finding stuff to worry about. Worst - I can't resolve this till after the holidays. I should have made DS walk out with me. We are now huddled on the sofa watching old Big Bang Theories.

motherinferior · 18/10/2015 17:29

We have been for a spin in the Midlifecrisismobile.

motherinferior · 18/10/2015 17:31

Auriga, the nosebleed would have made me feel homicidal. I realise this is quite unreasonable but it would.

MrsSchadenfreude · 18/10/2015 17:42

Me too, MI.

I think the "forgetting" is deliberate - maybe unconsciously so, if that's possible? The underlying message is, if I don't do it, she'll do it anyway, so I don't have to bother. It's why I don't drive or put the rubbish out - if I did those things I'd be doing everything. And he does, finally, remember when the rubbish goes out, although we have had a couple of 6.00 am dashes to the bins. DH says repeatedly, that we should sweep the kitchen every day. I have said, if he wants it swept, then he can do it. He has agreed to do so, but has never done it. We had this conversation again today. It still hasn't been swept.

I have made chutney. I was going to make mincemeat too, but DH appears to have thrown out all of my jars. Angry

motherinferior · 18/10/2015 17:48

Stropps, what would happen if you said that on eg Tuesdays and Fridays DH cooked dinner? As in, produced and took responsibility for it - if he forgets he sorts a takeaway or suchlike? And then left him to get on with it? And if he 'forgets' despite the fact it's in BIG letters on the calendar, that doesn't let him off the next time?

herbaceous · 18/10/2015 17:50

I bet they don't 'forget' to do anything at work, or that will directly benefit them. The shits.

Mrs S - store the chutney in your DH's expensive socks.

herbaceous · 18/10/2015 17:51

In contrast to your bastards, yesterday DP made a shepherd's pie and mopped the floor. And hoovered the downstairs.

hattymattie · 18/10/2015 17:54

Herbs - did you have to produce O level certificates?

motherinferior · 18/10/2015 18:02

Yes, Mr Inferior has as usual done all the weekend cooking (he is away for part of this week).

herbaceous · 18/10/2015 18:05

No Hatty - I just said what grades I got. Didn't have to produce any proof.

herbaceous · 18/10/2015 18:13

A quandary for you crepeys. DS's BFF's mum (with me?) has asked if I'd consider tutoring her daughter (year 5) in the 11+.

I can't decide.

On the plus side: it would be good experience for me, I would charge her less than the market rate, so a good deal for her, and she's a nice kid.

On the minus: I'd have to do a lot of prep for just one lesson, on top of everything else, I might be terrible and let everyone down, and she might not pass and it would be all my fault and terribly awkward. It's also a bit of a pain childcare wise with DS.

Hmmm....

Original poster
GiddyGiddyGoat · 18/10/2015 18:18

I'm sorry to say that mostly dh is a model of good behaviour on the domestic front and does an awful lot of things around here... ds2 on the other hand....

OP posts:
Original poster
GiddyGiddyGoat · 18/10/2015 18:22

Unless you're v keen Herbs I really don't think I would... for all the reasons you wrote and the possible pressure on the friendship. Take it from me that feelings run so high over 11+ stuff that all normal behaviour goes out of the window! You have a lot on - unless you're going to tutor a whole load of kids (thus making any prep time economic) why have all the hassle of this madness?

OP posts:
hattymattie · 18/10/2015 18:31

Agree with GGG Herbs - I tutored a little girl last year and had to do a lot of preparation for one lesson. I think obviously once we build up experience it becomes easier but at this point maybe not a good idea - especially if the pass/fail of the 11 plus is riding on it.

hattymattie · 18/10/2015 18:32

GGG - I'm wondering if your DS2 is the middle child. My DD2 doesn't do a stroke but she plays her middle child hand to the max.

motherinferior · 18/10/2015 18:37

I wouldn't, for all the reasons stated, Herbs.

Collymollypuff · 18/10/2015 18:40

I agree with the others about not tutoring this particular dd, Herbs. If she fails, it will most certainly be the tutor's fault. If she passes, it will be because she is Naturally Bright, and could easily have passed without any tutoring at all, so in fact the tutoring was pointless.

bigTillyMint · 18/10/2015 18:53

I agree with GGG. Tell her she would be better off with someone who has a back history of 11+ tutoring success. If you are going to tutor a friends DC, better it is one that doesn't have to pass any important exams till you feel confident, IYSWIM.

So tired (nothing to do with drinking last night at all) - is there really another week to go?

herbaceous · 18/10/2015 18:58

Thank you, crepey hive mind. I think I'm with you. It would be a massive hassle and worry, for not very much money. And too much emotional involvement.

I am Utterly Shafted. Too much boozing, too much excitement last week, and the dreaded PMT migrainous headache. Spent lunchtime on the south bank with delightful relatives of DP, and felt much better after lunchtime red wine. Now slumping again. And have an entire day of one-to-one voluntary teaching tomorrow. Will have to tell them I can't do it any more, as have actual Paying job.