Crepe Fear!

[GiddyGiddyGoat]

Ta Da.

Beachy, I love your garden - so pretty!

BD, I don't have too much problem carving time out for myself on the weekend, at least. Got a few catch-ups with friends this weekend, which is always restorative especially where drinks are concerned

CV, what on earth were you doing up at that time last night?
I got woken at 5.30 as DH had to leave at 6 for a funeral this morning.

DH is off sick today so I will have to go and meet DD2 from Eurostar and take her home. This is unhelpful. I am still not feeling 100% myself. I think I need to delegate more at home, but when it all goes wrong through people's doziness I always seem to end up taking the blame.

Am already stressing about DD1's flight tomorrow and her ability to get herself through passport control and to the gate on time, because she can be such a dilly. DH asked me if I had paid for her to go as an unaccompanied minor. I pointed out that she is 17 now, so this should not be necessary, and would also be embarrassing for her to be handed over to her friend at the other end by the cabin crew. Have told her to go straight to the gate when her flight is called, and to bear in mind that it may well be a long walk. She is not stupid, however, and I should have a little more faith.

Garden looks great Beachy. We have sat out in ours with a glass of wine only once all summer, so crap was the summer.

Cute dress, cresset!

MrsS, I would be worried about DD going on a plane on her own too, despite the numerous trips she has made en famille. I guess you/DH are dropping her off at the airport? It's not that difficult after that, is it?

We sat in our garden loads in the summer (most meals outside!) - must be the micro-climate in Kennington!

Beach, your garden looks lovely - so much colour. Here, on the farthest reaches of the Roman Empire, well actually on the other side, the garden looks a mess. Everything has gone over and just needs tearing out. Oh, why can I see photos like that, and not of the clothes people post?

MrsS, your schedule sounds punishing. I am sure DD will be fine, though.

How are the various lurgies progressing?

DH is going off on his bike for the day, I have the dental hospital again and am also debating whether to do a spot of window shopping. DDiL's birthday tomorrow so I need to sort something out for her. Oh, and think of me on Tuesday afternoon at 4, we will have all four (4, iv) DGC, aged 4, 3, 2 and 1, while their DPs do school visits!

Okay so who gave me the cold? 'Fess up.

I am on my way in but full of snot and am only going because I have a meeting in my diary.

BTM you are an example we should all follow.
MrsS sure it will be fine!
Stropps sending strength. Likewise MI
Here the English teacher ds had the run in with and ds are playing the 'let's pretend nothing happened' game.

This weekend would appear to be mainly solar panel people..... I am leaving that to dp.

BTM, I have delegated drop off to DH. If he is well enough to take her... You are right, all she has to do is go through security, passport control, find gate and get on flight. I flew to Strasbourg at the same age - BA insisted in those days that I fly as an unaccompanied minor, but abandoned me in Paris, as my onward flight was with Air France and left me to change terminals and find my own flight. I managed. I also went to France alone at age 15, in the days of the boat train from Victoria, had to change trains twice in France and arrived without problem.

DD1 caught plane to meet friend and family in France at 14, All fine but it was hard (for me). Friend asked airline to help her dyslexic DS and he was mortified to be escorted with people with disability and young child.

Stropps one of mine is really struggling with stress in 6th form and it is so draining so I can only imagine what an Olympic style marathon of dig deep you are going through.

MI that sounds so hard. When my FIL was dying of leukaemia it was really hard to balence what he needed ("look my time's up. We all have to go sometime. This is my time.") against MIL desperate wish to prolong things. Really sad.

Miss, I have some nice things in the weekend - meeting my lovely cousin for tea, and then a cheesy 80s disco party for a friend's 50th, which will also be attended by lots of other lovely local mates. And I have lunch with Monty. AND I slept like a felled beast and had already decided to forgo Ladyjog - I have been getting lots of exercise but knee started to ache ( I suspect, you know, this is more the body finding a weak spot to play up in a time of stress than the actual mechanics of the knee...) I must Brace Self for Day.

I'd forgotten your job was starting so soon, Mrs S..... Good luck and hope you and dh feel better soon.

BD, you can have my bed on the ward - I'm demoted to a light sniffle and occasional sneeze.

I thought the flowers might cheer people up. I took the picture yesterday because I know that as soon as there's a frost, it will all just shrivel and fall over. Everything's so late here as building that flower bed was dh's March project (first spell of no work), but it didn't get started done until June, when we just threw plants at it. Therefore, October display

I have a good weekend with my friend coming to stay and dh away until Monday night.... so lots of 'letting standards slip', 'not washing up immediately' and 'eating on our laps'......

Lots of boring admin and cleaning to do today, so must crack on.

Good luck Herbs for the interview and NU, with your little squigees...

Hello Cresset, welcome.

Yes CV, what were you doing up in the middle of the night?

Good luck today Herbs. Fingers crossed.

Veteran and shiny new Crepeys all. I came here for succour this morning and it was the right place to come.

Firstly, MI. That's horrible news. And so worrying about your Df's response. I've been reading 'What to Say When Someone is Dying' from 1988 by Rob Buckman. He says that acceptance of the prognosis is useful for the patient in terms of anxiety avoidance and for the spouse..... and basically he'd spoken to several doctors/surgeons for whom the denial reflex was so strong that in one case, it took three weeks of being told every day for a Dr (patient) to finally take in and stop questioning his prognosis. He literally Teflonned the information. In fact, reading this, and your posts about parents and also Strops' extremely articulate posts about DD, I fully understand the nature of denial for the first time. I'm having a complete epiphany. It's not 'No, I didn't eat the last bag of crisps.' It's beliving 100% that you didn't eat them.' Something in what you said Stropps about DD saying what she wants people to hear etc, really chimed with me. I was a truant and massively under-acheived. I've spent my whole life going round saying 'school just let it happen.' Not blaming them, but also believing they didn't intervent. I bet they did. I bet they talked to me and I made all sorts of promises but was in denial then and onwards.... How can you get to 48 before fully understanding what denial properly is? Durrrr.

Stropps, Ddog's 'special dance in front of the fridge' made me burst into tears.

BD, You are right. Like Sister Auriga before you. I went immediately and doused myself in my Liz Earl perfume.

Beachy. Gorgeous and utterly life-enhancing photo and this is sob-inducing: 'My garden is not ready to be put to bed yet....'

More in a minute...

Mrs S dd will be fine. My own dd started solo flying to granny's from age of 5. (Started out acc. By air steward obviously) my tips are: keep in touch by text. Tell her to Keep checking the board for gate number. As soon as its up go to gate. If anxious about anything ask a Crepey older female , as most likely person to help kindly.and not be an axe murderer.
Stay in airport until plane airborne in case of delays.

Herbs v good luck with interview.

Rose, I too thought smashing pins.

Apols for radio silence but I you have all been in my thoughts. BTM, am jeal of your lovely new sitting room. Ours badly needs doing and/but there is some damp on outside walls that would need attending to first.

I referred to succour in the post above.... I am driving to the Kent coast today to say goodbye to a good friend. Bastard C of the liver. All plummeted downhill very fast. Her garden is not ready to be put to bed yet. And I think she has probably been in denial. Jeez. It's hard. I did not sleep very well and need to drive carefully.

'If anxious about anything ask a Crepey' Great advice Crem. Works for all of us.

WAF yes drive carefully and be kind to yourself. (my friend who died of breast cancer four years ago has been very much in my thoughts this morning) - very much having a 'seize the day' moment. Whatever happens re GP tomorrow I may well simply sign myself off for a week and take stock.

BD I have been thinking of you and the GP appointment and wondering what outcome you were looking for. I know it's easy for me to say this, but are you sure a week is enough? Feels like it would go by too fast for you to get the space. I hope your GP is from the Aurgia school and insists on a fortnight.

Oh WAF. How grim.

I have to say you lot are bloody amazing.

MrsS they often rise to the occasion when precisely because we're not around. I found this with my kids with road crossing. I was never confident because they were so head in the clouds when they were with me. Watching from a distance when they didn't know I was there, I saw a very different story. I guess we have to just trust the buggers.

WAF you are doing a fantastic thing today. What price friendship. Just look after yourself too. The Crepeys are waiting to lend support xx

BD maybe some extended sick leave is what you need and also what the workplace needs to appreciate your value to them. I don't suppose they do sabbaticals?

Lovely flowers Beachy

So draining stropps. What can one do other the to keep trucking on and believing that things will get better. Xx

Ok thanks for all the nice comments lovely laydeez but the dress is going back today. First I am visiting DDad who is pretty dire and not eating according to DM. I'm dreading this visit.

Big hug from me, WAF - and take care on the road.
And yes, denial in its most extreme form is certainly something to behold. Alcoholic exh used to get a look of pathetic and tremulous bewilderment on the very infrequent occasions when the truth reared up and smacked him round the chops in a way that cut through his defences. And then the look would quickly disappear as the denial kicked in again. As soon as I see the look of tremulous bewilderment on dd's face, I know we have a window of opportunity and I have to make time for her right then. She is still currently trying to do the right thing when not feeling overwhelmed. I collected her from her friend's house last night and she told me that they had been doing work and she had got a fair bit of her French Lit done. And this morning she got up before everyone else, made herself porridge and fresh orange juice and took vit pills (and I made sure to pass v positive comment on all of this). It still took her 2.5 hours to get out the door, though, so she still missed registration and would have been a few mins late to the first lesson, but she is in there, for better or for worse.

Thank you all, lovely crepeys, for your support. I can't tell you how much it means to me - and it really has prevented some unpleasant showdowns when I am able to come and let it all hang out here, but bite my tongue with dd. I will have to work on Sunday, as the time spent sorting dd out yesterday needs to be made up. Special thanks to Crem and Auriga for your posts. Not bottling it all up means that I can give hugs to dd when she lets me (which is actually pretty often at the moment), whereas there were times over the summer when I was so angry and resentful that I couldn't have imagined getting that close to her or her letting me.

Hope things go well today, Herbs.

Best of luck with sorting out launch day for your new job, MrsS. Sounds as though you will need extra vitamins for next week! Hope dd1 manages the flight ok tomorrow.

All this talk of ailing dps is now making me feel twitchy as my dm didn't answer the phone last night and she usually calls back if she sees I've called

BD, you're sounding resolute, but I agree with WAF - take a fortnight!

Rose, much strength for the visit today.

You have caught that fantastically Stropps 'tremulous bewilderment, etc'

Rose, that is so heartening and true, the observed road crossing.

Right, going now. No mascara. Blueberry muffins (for her fantastic grown up sons) tissues.

WAF, your post made me well-up. Drive carefully and have a lovely time with your friend talking about memories and stuff

Stropps, I know you don't think it, but you are being so strong and managing the situation really well. Sending more strength vibes

BD, I agree - 2 weeks minimum

MI, glad you have a good weekend planned

I feel exhausted after DH's early start and DS's missing coat fiasco, followed by another visiting teacher to see how I do things and my current very demanding class. Roll on 3pm!

Chilly, I've already forgotten how old your DC are. Is your sixthformer Y12 or 13? Mine has had a total rollercoaster of a first half-term in Y12, but said last night that she feels a bit more settled there now. Till the next disaster

Oh WAF, what a day you have in store.

BD - nooo, not a cold as well. I hope the GP is suitably sympathetic.

Yes, I was still up at 1am. I regularly slide into bad nocturnal habits, and it's a constant struggle to get myself into bed on time. Having said that, my brain wouldn't switch off last night, so even when I did go to bed I couldn't sleep. No matter - I can normally manage on 5-6 hours.

The DCs are all out and about (one is rolling in the mud paintballing somewhere near Cobham, one has just texted from "Saw" at Thorpe Park, and littley is shopping with a mate). DH and I actually have the evening to ourselves (well, until 10pm), so we're going to find somewhere nice for dinner.