Crepeys on the Verge of an Examination Meltdown

[whattodoforthebest2]

Not sure if I should be starting the new thread as I'm the last poster on the old one - is this how it works?

Herbs - so sorry. That sounds utterly grim.

I am being pathetic re jobs and DH is being very unhelpful as in "Oooh, do you think you're qualified for that job?" I told him to fuck off and am in the bedroom whacking in job apps now.

Took Pissy Pussy to the vet and the bill was half what it usually is (yippee, but why is it usually so expensive?). Pussy behaved like a dream, let them tickle his tummy, remove his knot from his tail and didn't piss everywhere like he did last time. Vet says it might be stress caused by the Shitten who is Alpha Cat.

WAF, me too. Hardly slept, then today I was volunteering which involved standing up all day being nice to school groups (who were, it has to be said, delightful and thanked "the lady" nicely ) and stopping someone trying to steal something (in jest I think). He picked the wrong day to cross me, I tell you.

Crem, IME wot MI and Stropps said. CBT doesn't even have to involve talking I think - I know someone who was offered an online course. I think it is more to do with learning how to manage eg stress, phobias so that you can carry on with life. Another family member had one sort of psychotherapy - it was tough, I think it helped in the end but took years. I am not sure she would say she is glad she did it rather than less invasive (is that the right way of putting it - more than CBT anyway but not necessarily digging up everything?) counselling to help her deal with immediate problems. Given your dd's history, maybe some professional advice on what sort of thing might be a good idea? I probably don't know what I am talking about though. And am a bit deranged.

Herbs,

And Stropps, that sounds very promising about the agency. I think you are so right to investigate all options having done the course.

X-posts, respect to you MrsS, doing apps on a friday night.

I am going to bed earlier than my children.

So all ok today, did a bit if ironing, dd offered her services as a model for my eBay clothing.
And now she is in floods of tears. She's gone to bed, saying its nothing. Won't talk , won't tell us anything.
Wtaf? I'm going to end up having a ruddy heart attack.

And Herbs

Oh bloody hell, Crem, you don't need this. Hopefully the loser boyfriend has dumped her as she couldn't get a guarantor for the love nest, and she will see him for what he is?

Oh dear, Crem, so sorry to hear that. I hope DD feels that she can talk to you in the morning.

Herbs, what an awful day and much strength to DP on Monday.

We're moving to the Jasper National Park tomorrow so it will be a long day. I will be sad to leave our cabin where we have been very comfortable.

Oh no Cremo. Do you think she is worried about going back to G? Or maybe they've had a fall-out? Hope she opens up in the morning. I thought this parenting lark was supposed to get easier once they get to 18

MI, I go to bed earlier than my children virtually every night as I wake up so bloody early

MrsS fingers crossed with applications and tell DH to either be supportive or bugger off

Cremo :( - hope she opens up today

Herbs :( :( poor Dp and his mum.

Thanks for the zzzzzz. - got some in, but still tired. Work is just surreal - on one hand business as usual on the other trying to work out what is going to happen when 35% of the staff have gone.

Looking a bit grey here - hoping it clears up as would like to have a BBQ...

She's a bit better after a nights sleep. Don't think it was anything , I suppose being on your high horse is exhausting and difficult to maintain.
Have come into work to relax. Yip that's really saying something.

Cremo, that's good. I know what you mean about escaping to work - it has been the only sane thing at times for me. And you know where I work!

That's cruel, Herbs so very sorry for your DP and his DM.

Maybe it's all part of the process, Crem…anger first, then tears. Fear, maybe? Just take some comfort that we all feel you're doing the right thing, and have admiration and respect for you xx

Go for it anyway MrsS…DH's never say the right thing, after all. And they don't like change, do they. two gross generalisations but never mind

Dh and DS2 went off at the crack, to Warwick Uni open day. I have had one somewhat sullen text from DS saying "it's in the middle of nowhere…

I am on revision duty again. DD is SO not on task. This really is utter shite. Next summer just can't come around quickly enough for me. Anyway the plan is to down tools at 4pm, IF she gets the work done. If not …

I am in the hell that is Forever 21 with DD1. Next stop Selfridge's for DH's poncetastic socks for his special feet.

Really lovin' DH today, aren't you Mrs S!

I have a debilitating hangover. Turns out that gin and tonic, followed by prosecco, followed by red wine, followed by an ill-advised Tia Maria is not a clever move. Particularly when you have to go to a sixth birthday party later, and then sing in a concert.

Keep getting a funny pain in my chest. Wonder if it's anxiety, or imminent heart attack.

MrsS (not so D) H then
Done the shopping... Might go back to bed now....

Herbs - ouch - don't think that combo is ever advised!

BD take the opportunity to snooze whenever you can. You deserve a lie down.
Mrs S you too after Oxford Street on a Saturday. Morning. More info on the poncy socks. black Silk? With special lifts.?
You also need an afternoon nap.

herbs, I feel quite vomitous thinking about the cocktail sloshing about in your stomach . A birthday party for 6 year olds sounds challenging. Best of luck with that.

BTM thanks, I think you are spot on.

Crem, your exhausting high horse comment made me snort with laughter. The only consistent thing with your dad seems to be that downs follow ups - you just don't know when or how big. Escape to your work really is saying something.

Also larfed at Rose's never minding of her gross generalisations.

Herbs - I think Tia Maria is only ever consumed by someone who has had at least three other types of alcohol. Same with flaming sambucas. Hope chest thing passes fast.

Forever 21 do excellent leggings in their basics dept BTW.

I am on my own in what BTM would call a hipster cafe and, CREPEY KLAXON I have come here after ladyjogging to
collect my HRT. That's some kind of bingo win, isn't it?

Dd not dad!

Hi Crepeys, I'm back from gloriously sunny Poole, to find damp and gloom here. Hmm. DS2 has just left for a(nother) wedding, looking v smartly suited and booted. He does scrub up well, if I say so myself . DD is in Oxford St looking for jewellery and post-prom party wear. We have yet to organise acrylic nails (any advice anyone?) and hair-styling/root retouching. Dare I have go at it myself?

Herbs - no sympathy at all, you were partying wildly while I was driving back up the M3 to face the house that time forgot!

Crem - I do hope DD finds a way to talk to you about things - a problem shared and all that, such a burden otherwise, trying to figure it all out on your own.

NU - I am - your hol sounds wonderful.

Mrs S - good luck with the job apps - I must find something soon and stop being a wuss and worrying about people being ageist.

Cross-post WAF - and yes, that's a hat trick.

Hiya All,
Herbs, you are a bit of a one . I got a hangover just reading about your very ill advised alcohol consumption. If I did that now I honestly think it might kill me. Not at the time but the morning after. Very sad re poor dp and his poor Mum.

Up at early o'clock to go on a pilgrimage with dh, ds2 and ddog to the poncetastic (thanks Mrs S for reminding me just how much I love that word!) foodie railway arches somewhere in Southwark. It was fun but not getting up at dawn on a Saturday fun..

Fingers crossed re dd Crem. I too think BTM might be right about the tears etc. Also, I wonder if she has, for whatever reason, built up home and her parents into something awful and horrible - perhaps as a way of managing to separate and be away from you all on her own, perhaps with the unhelpful influence of the boyfriend and that coming home and being faced with the gap between how she's been thinking of home and the reality is huge. May be completely wrong but just a thought.

Re the therapy I don't think there's any easy answer... it really does depend on her and her 'stuff' as to what might be best. The dilemma with young people is that what they might feel able to engage with is something short term and more mechanistic (CBT) even if what they might benefit more from is something relationship based and long term (psychotherapy). Also of course it depends on what's available and practical. Are you hoping she can access something via the Uni / NHS or thinking about private help? If the former then again she will probably have to take what's on offer (more likely to be CBT). If it was me and my dc was amenable I would try to get her a consultation with an experienced psychotherapist who was medically qualified (psychiatrist) to think with her about what would be most helpful for her, what the options are and for a recommendation - which may or may not be possible. Feel free to pm me. Auriga might be a helpful person to ask?

Mrs S. Yes to more details re dh's special feet. Are the poncetastic socks a Father's Day pressie. Hope he's bloody grateful. If he's not more helpful and supportive today stick his socks somewhere painful.

BD, what can you do except keep your head down and your chin up... iyswim! Hope the job application comes up trumps for you.

Happy Weekends Crepeys!

I am off to combine the anti-austerity march with a spot of shopping. Also to escape Mr Inferior who is once again in exhausted put-upon mode. Nobody forces him to get up at 7am on a Sat, ffs.

Also Amaretto, WAF. Oh yes.

QQ you are absolutely spot on. She had indeed built up a skewed idea of us whilst away.( quite possibly fuelled by UB) She was so puffed up and accusatory , as if we were the divine source of all that's wrong. She was particularly hard on Dh, saying she was terrified of him and had been for years. Now things have settled ( she has got her own way about the flat- which seemed to be The Mission for her during this visit) she doesn't know what to be at.
I think the tears were real last night.Suddenly everything is real for her and she's now full of fear that it might not work. She is absolutely bouncing to get back to G. And has booked her passage back early July-without any consultation with us. Can't wait to start "playing house" as Judge Judy calls it.

I will pm you QQ and also Auriga. she has been looking online for a CBT person, as she says she would like to try this. I think I will pay. Doubtless the service offered on the NHs will be time limited.
Her main living issue I feel, is self -esteem based and resilience-building. she is not mature enough to deal with the big Stuff yet.
But it will have to happen sometime.

Gosh work is light relief after this stuff.I'm going to see the Who with Dh tomorrow for a laugh. We really need one.

Perhaps she's anxious about living with BF Crem? I was shit scared about now DH moving in with me and I was 30 and loved him (was also depressed following ddads sudden death for added context)

Oh Crem, she does sound confused and overwhelmed. I guess the tears were letting some of that show. Here's hoping things settle down over the next couple of weeks.

Herbs - hair of the dog? Might be necessary before the party!

MrsS - Forever 21 is indeed hellish. Everything is so tiny.

Well, I also was up early(ish) this morning, having been persuaded to do another 5k Parkrun. I've decided it's like labour - half way through you think "never again never again" but a week later it's all forgotten and it seems like a totally marvellous idea... until you are midway again. This time the course was very flat (around Nonsuch Park) so I ran all the way, but I was still beaten by dogs, buggies, small children and pretty much everyone else.

Now I am feeling a little stiff. DH is washing his car and pootling about putting stuff away in the garden, occasionally tapping on the window to glare at me on my tablet (I may well have flicked the Vs at him at one point).

Tonight we are out at a big open-air event, so I'm anxiously watching the drizzle and fretting about footwear. It is round the corner from my office, so we walk back there and stay in the staff cottage (saves on a cab). I will certainly sleep well tonight.