Crepeys on the Verge of an Examination Meltdown

[whattodoforthebest2]

Not sure if I should be starting the new thread as I'm the last poster on the old one - is this how it works?

I do want to go to Canada

Oh Crem. She is in a mess - and it is v hard to work out what parents can do for people that age in a mess. I am so sorry.

Ladyjog conducted and knees bearing up if not amazing. Shall coast gently to the end of the week. Or so I hope.

Have bought sandal these sandals in celebration of cast removal.

NU your travels sound great. I fancy Canada too and perhaps we will go sometime, as Dh was born there. Although retuned to NI as a babe in arms. But first I am insisting on Orang-utans, so Borneo or similar.

Thanks MI. watching your child make all the wrong choices for all the wrong reasons is dreadful. All I can do now is make sure I am the FIRST person she phones when it all goes tits up. As you know she has previous in this regard. My brother was a magnet for the wrong sorts too, so interesting in a way, that nurture has been pipped at the post by nature.

Do we have any opinions on therapy types CBT, psychotherapy etc.

I've had CBT. It was quite useful. But it's better, IMO, at being a 'fix' than something that uncovers major Stuff: it helped me get over the specific situation/cause of that bout of depression but did not eg tackle stuff to do with my mum -though having said that I suspect those techniques could be used in that way so am probably talking bollocks.

I think psychotherapy and CBT techniques can profitably be used in tandem: the psychotherapy to uncover and talk through the Stuff, and the CBT to cope with it day to day.

Crem, I have no advice, but sending you (you can have mine too, as I am still not drinking). As Hatty says, it may all turn sour by September - she is clearly seeing G as the land of milk and honey, which it may turn out not to be if she has to find a job and live in squalor.

I have reached the point where I hate my job so much that I can barely bring myself to go into the office (I am still slumped on the bed in my pyjamas). The other cat (not the Shitten, who has been behaving herself beautifully for the past weeks) pissed copiously all over the bed last night when we were in it. We are keeping the dry cleaner and the vet in business I think. There is clearly something wrong, as it was not a normal amount of pee, and he did it right where he sleeps, which is not normal either. Please tell me that there is more to life than cat effluent and a job I hate.

MrsS, do you think it might be time to quit your area of work completely? You've really had a run of crappy jobs which simply don't use you to your Considerable Best.

I too do not want to work and am footling at the desk.

Crem, we can all only do our best and you have certainly done that. Well done on your fortitude and keeping the lines of communication open. Wise words from Lalsy there. As for nature vs nurture, I hear ya. My own dd has superb own foot-shooting skillz, despite my best efforts to encourage her in other directions.

With regard to psychotherapy and CBT and stuff: obvs we have crepeys who can comment on these things from a more objective and informed POV than I can, but from the POV of someone who was once young, angry and extremely self-destructive, I can say that it all depends on who is delivering the treatment, as well as the obvious issue of how open the 'patient' is to change - and whether they have sought out the treatment themselves.

I am pleased to say that the agency interview yesterday seemed very positive and I was pleased that I managed to get myself together to go and didn't talk myself out of it on spurious grounds. They (allegedly) do get in the sort of work I am looking for in my local area and they also offer trial days and half-days in schools, which seems like an excellent idea. I was there over an hour and I got the feeling they were genuinely pleased to have me on their books. However, after 15 years of working with agencies I know full well that getting on the books and getting work are two entirely different things. We shall see.

MrsS, I am very sorry to hear that your workplace is sucking the joy out of your life. As MI says, is there no prospect of a move to something completely different - or are you tied to that particular institution for the foreseeable?

BTW, are you noticing any significant changes since you have been booze-free?

Crem, I've had CBT and found it very useful. I still use the techniques now. I hope that you find something which suits. I can't imagine how tricky it must be to be watching DD go through this and am sending love and strength.

MrsS, congratulations on being booze free. How long is it now? Is it for any specified period or for ever and what made you decide to do it? I am sorry that work sucks so badly. It does impinge on other areas of one's life so much too when work is rubbish, doesn't it? Are there any opportunities in a different department?

Stropps, well done for completing the course and fingers crossed the agency comes up with something for you soon.

How has your week been BD? Hope less shitty. Thinking of you

Have conducted ladyjog and lost 10 quid in the process which was annoying. Also feeling a bit sad that I had put a diary date in with pals for next Thurs and they have both cancelled - one forgot and arranged something else and the other blew me out for a better offer! Feeling rather hurt, esp as I had organised childcare which I will either have to pay for or cancel - hate messing people round. Oh well, I will get over it.

WAF I have just ordered this dress Is it short enough to be a tunic? Stupid price and polyester though…. I also had a moment of utter, utter madness and ordered a jumpsuit, which I think was the last one as it's disappeared off the web so can't link properly but it's at the top of the page here for summer functions. Also stupid price and polyester. Bit worried it'll induce migraines.

Herbs What Monty said about part time to job share…go for it. Exciting!

Crem Going with it but holding firm re. bottom line on certain matters e.g. not being guarantor is a wise option. She hasn't given up her course, has she? Lovely sandals by the way. I don't know much about CBT versus a more psychodynamic approach but other Crepeys have good words about this. One is obviously cognitive and behavioural and the other is more psychotherapeutic.

MrsS sorry re job and incontinent cats. You sound like you would benefit from putting some distance between you and both of these.

Happy news Stropps re the agency.

Meeting in Kew did happen and was surprisingly productive. (It was with a colleague who is also a casting director about my play) But it took me an hour and a half to get home owing to awful traffic. I did enjoy Masterchef last night but cant get my head around "Pig on Toast" ( did they say it was made from trotters and ears???...sorry…it's not happening for me. Yuckaroo.

Sorry about being blown out, Monty I get all upset when people do that to me…for a better offer…bloody cheek.

I'm kind of stuck in today. There's a bloke in the garden starting on a stone path that I've wanted laid for years. He's a musician who does this building stuff in his spare time. Hope he knows what he's doing…we've had some nice conversations about singing…

Many wise words Crepeys. Thanking you.
Mrs S you need a bloody holiday and to put wretched fur balls into cat hotel as penance. You need a view of the sea and several good books.
I do hope such a thing is imminent.

Stropps, well done - that's great!

MrsS, I thought you were trying to rehome one of your cats - did you change your mind/not found anyone yet?

I am off to get an x-ray of my knee soon. I am interested to know if they can see whatever the problem is!

MI, please don't worry about your fatty lump. I went to a GP with a swelling when dad was dying of cancer and the first thing she said was: "it isn't cancer" - perceptive of her to make the connection. Also years ago I had a lump and was told off for being concerned about it - both GP and hospital said it was "necrosis" and more or less "what do you want me to do about it?" It disappeared of its own accord. However the scan will put your mind at rest. Stropps, lalsy is right about a crepey having a ds at W and I have Pm'd you.

Crem, I think you did extremely well to get agreement to talking therapy and think Stropps is right about a) depends on who is delivering the therapy and b) depends what feels right to the patient. Frustratingly you have to trust them to engage. Gah. Been there, done the angst and self-restraint.

MrsS - you need a holiday!

BD just want to send you some decent zzzzzzzzzzs for the weekend.

Rose and cream will look at your purchases on lappie later. Phone has gone negative colours since I paired it in my bag with a leaky water bottle...
BUT MI I went up high Street like you said and my lovely Gap wrap dress and Fenn Wright Manson twist dress are in the machine!!!!!!

Mrs S. Life is too short. Leave before you go postal on them.

WAF

Yes, Mrs S. The world needs your considerable skills, away from your current stultifying milieu. Run free, my pretty.

My turn to be returning from a funeral. DP's uncle, his dad's brother, so ultra-poignant. They used to share a bed as children, and are now buried opposite each other in the cemetery. DP barely held it together. His mum was there in her wheelchair - only two months ago she was going to the gym.

She wasn't allowed to have her chemo session last Monday because of something or other, which they want to discuss with her on Monday. They have said 'someone should be with you', which sounds horribly ominous. DP is being that 'someone'. It's all very shit indeed.

However, on the bright side we're going out with pals tonight for DP's birthday, to a naice local gastropub.

Oh efffing hell, Herbs.

Herbs

Herbs..... crock of shite.

Said frocks are two things I don't do: The Gap maternity one is floral - albeit white and not particularly feminine flowers on grey background and FWM one is animal print - albeit big splodges.

Rose that website is goooood. I like what you've ordered.

Crem, I just get the La Redoute homepage, which are your sandals? I need to know.

After wrecked week, I am trying HRT again at higher oestrogen dose to see if it helps my fragmented sleep and associated fun. The Mindfulness mediation is a Good Thing but is doing nothing for the general ovarian fail I'm beset by.

DH returning shortly with curry which means my nice clean kitchen won't get spoiled.

It's Friday crepeys. Have at it.

Oh Herbs.

MrsS - brush up that CV.

I'm quite tempted to look for something new myself, not that I mind my current job, but I don't think I'm stretching myself remotely. Or paid enough. It's probably the 7-year itch,and the realisation that this is now my longest served employment. Alas, I will have to stay put for a while, as DH's job is entering a period of uncertainty as rumour abounds in the press that his company have sold the division he works for to a competitor (best case scenario, both old and new company want him, and he can pick and choose; worst case, neither do, and it's redundancy, albeit very generous).

Must stir my stumps to cook dinner. No DS this evening - he has taken GF out to dinner to celebrate their 6 month anniversary.

WAF, I stepped down a notch on my HRT a couple of months ago! Sleep seems similar (stress of GCSES not good) and no other side-effects atm, but periods seem to have changed a bit. The leaflet says it should settle within 6 months.
And well done on your purchases.

CV, how sweet!

Herbs, that's very sad all round. Hope tonights outing helps to change the mood.

Here DS has gone off to a mates and DD has returned from shopping in a decent mood and even asked me to help her choose a dress for the forthcoming party off the internet - apparently the shopping trip with her besties involved buying skimpy knickers, but not a dress

A fellow course-taker has just got herself two part-time jobs, so I should get my finger out.

I have been sporting many charity shop offerings today. For the funeral, a black Sticky Fingers long-sleeved dress, plus black Zara jacket that fits me like a glove.

And now, a red and blue owl-print fifties-ish dress. I shall accessorise this with my 20-year-old denim jacket. And trainers.

Hope you manage to have a good night, Herbs, despite all that is currently going on. Does not sound good for Monday :(

Molly, thank you :) Will pm you shortly.

I am soooo tired, I can't quite manage to type. I had some stuff to say, but it all fell out of my brain on the way to the keyboard.