Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Original poster

Maybe Yes, Maybe No, May Be Crepey

999 replies

QueenQueenie · 09/05/2015 18:03

Unilateral decision... No space for consultation. Call me Dave...

OP posts:
Blackduck · 26/05/2015 19:52

Thank you ladies - just what the Dr ordered! MrsS and Molly hope you enjoy the meal, Wilbur hope the play is fab. On way home for a curry with the boy as our plans to see his grandparents have fallen through.

Missed the rest of you!

NUFC69 · 26/05/2015 20:49

Sorry to hear that the job situation is still awful for so many Crepeys. And Crem, commiserations that your back is still bad.

Can't remember who said that if the DC go to uni in the north there is at least a chance that they will be able to afford a home if they decide to stay, it's so true. It is a great place to live and work. Rose, I would be happy to meet you if you have to come up with DS - I was looking forward to meeting Molly with her DS. Hmm

MrsS, awful about your neighbour and unbelievable that SS aren't interested. MI, holiday sounds great and well done on your writing.

MrsSchadenfreude · 26/05/2015 22:35

Molly and I had a good meal and chinwag. Grin

Neighbour was waiting for me on the stairs when I got in. Thankfully he was fully dressed. I had the spiel about the cameras, people breaking his door down to steal £150 but not killing him on this occasion, the microphones etc etc. He said he has been offered sheltered accommodation in Clapham, but doesn't want to accept it, as he would rather go into a home and be looked after, and be somewhere where he can see people. He has been told by social services that he has to decide on this place tomorrow, and if he refuses, he won't be offered anything else. Confused Does that mean they just wash their hands of him? He is clearly only going to get worse...

MollyAir · 26/05/2015 22:40

They should let the poor man go into a home and be looked after. Sheltered accommodation is going to be little different from being your neighbour, surely?

Thanks for a lovely meal, MrsS. I see why Crepeys follow your recommendations now...

MrsSchadenfreude · 26/05/2015 23:12

The problem is, Molly, if he is not going on about cameras and people wanting to kill him, you would just think he was a frail old man, who was a bit lonely. And that's probably how he comes across to social services. He looked fine tonight - he was clean, didn't pong, his clothes were neatly ironed, and he was wearing trousers. One of my great aunts went into really great sheltered accommodation - they had a "clubhouse" attached, and there was always something going on in the evening, they could have lunch or dinner there, or a drink at the bar, so if you fancied some company, it was always there. That's the sort of thing our neighbour needs. He needs to feel safe, and to have someone to talk to.

Glad you enjoyed the meal, Molly. Grin

bigTillyMint · 27/05/2015 07:26

MrsS, I am looking forward to going into some sheltered accommodation like that in a few years, before I lose the plot completely!
Sorry that he is unlikely to move there. It is very difficult convincing someone with dementia to do something they don't want to do. Is there any way that your DH could step in and liaise with SS and get him moved there/somewhere more appropriate in the interests of your sanity?!

motherinferior · 27/05/2015 07:49

If he actively doesn't want to go, it's quite hard legally I think to force him. And yes, he probably comes across as more competent than a lot of the people the social workers are having to deal with, and they're desperately trying to make 2+2=17 - it's a little like my mother and food; she appears on the surface to be this highly competent intelligent woman who just doesn't eat much, not someone with a rather destructive life history of an eating disorder.

MontserratCaballe · 27/05/2015 08:11

Very sad for the neighbour, Mrs S, but awful for you. I am not sure what else can be done, unless SS witness one of his outbursts. I feel sorry that he just wants to be looked after, poor fellow, but not your job to do this or even be an intermediary.

I have conducted a ladyjog, done the dishwasher, made a picnic and about to change the beds. I have a lot of work to do today and have a nail appointment at 4 so need to crack on. Hope everyone has good plans and indeed fine weather. S London was lovely this morning. Always a mood improver Smile

Blackduck · 27/05/2015 08:17

Sorry to hear about neighbour MrsS on top of everything else - let me know about the other thing should it happen this week.

I have the task of cramming a small library into a bag in order to get everything home. Then back to work tomorrow.
Ds is eyeing up the HyperJapan exhibition it the O2 in July....

addle · 27/05/2015 08:51

Rose, my dd is at Sheffield if you would like any info. She really likes it there.

Mrs S, it's a shame that your neighbour doesn't realise that he would be looked after a lot more in sheltered accomm. and there would probably, as you say, be social areas. Could someone talk to him about that?

S. London trees beautiful this morning. DH away in Spain playing football; close readers will remember that this time last year he was in Italy playing football and brought me back ... extra big tea towels.

lalsy · 27/05/2015 09:00

addle, I hope he has a better grasp of what is expected this time. Grin

Gosh, I am bored with May BH half terms dominated by exams (my dc have always had school exams the week after and dd had A2s etc so we are well used to it but it is dull....). Pimms helps Grin

herbaceous · 27/05/2015 09:25

Bonjour mes crepes! Back from Paris, after an all-too-short visit. Our stay was rather hampered by the man of the house suffering from a bout of salmonella, confining him to bed/couch/lav the whole time we were there. But we still got out and about - saw the Eiffel Tower, a lot, did the batobus, Pompidou centre - we actually went inside to a see an exhibition on Corbusier while our friend took the boys to bounce on the trampolines by the Louvre.

We went to an amazing park on the site of the old Citroen factory, and another one which had been a quarry/charnel house/dead horse dump. Good at repurposing their urban areas, these French.

DS and son of hosts got on like a house on fire - we hardly saw him for three days. Though I need to rein his tendency to be, as DP calls it, 'a pompous ass'. He has a tendency to declare with his nose in the air that he knows this that or the other, or that something is 'easy', etc.

motherinferior · 27/05/2015 10:57

Clarks also has a 20 per cent off deal. Just sayin'.

Rosebag · 27/05/2015 12:30

That's to all with uni endorsements for DS. May take you up on that addle' NU that's very kind. DS has also discovered that Warwick might be an option and is going to try and get on an open day there too but maybe in Sept. We have too many this summer. Front runner is still Birmingham as he can do music as well as MFL. We'll see.

MrsS is there any way the neighbour clan be convinced that going into sheltered is an easy way into a home. After all if he's as much of a nuisance in the sheltered flats as he is in your block, the wardens will soon move him on to a care home anyway. What a shame he has no family at all. Short of getting him sectioned next time he decides to go running around naked, (probably not a reason for section anyway) what else can be done?

We are shortly off to hotel for DHs surprise birthday lunch. The weather is also quite beautiful here and the hotel's a lovely setting. But I do agree with you lalsy ...it all gets spoiled by revision and homework having to be fitted in.

Sounds like a great trip herbs! Not sure how I'd feel about sharing a flat with a sick person though....and don't worry about DS...he'll grow out of it and it's better to be confident!

Rosebag · 27/05/2015 12:31

Thanks to all, I meant...

herbaceous · 27/05/2015 13:00

I was a bit worried about catching his lurgy, but a) he was very good at keeping away from everyone, and the flat was massive, and b) it turned out to be salmonella which I don't think is contagious outside a food context. At least, that's what I told myself.

lalsy · 27/05/2015 13:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

motherinferior · 27/05/2015 15:20

Oh god, we're back to our usual half term scenario with DD2, who is bored and unhappy. I HAVE TO WORK. I am feeling really harassed with the amount of stuff I have to do, and I have to do interviews and finish a feature. She's too little to go out on her own (and the few friends she has rung are busy) and too big to be babysat. I have to work!

bigTillyMint · 27/05/2015 15:29

Result! DS went off to visit PIL this morning - bus, tube, mainline train- due back tomorrow afternoon. He has just text to say he's going to stay till SundayGrin

DH is off to meet old colleagues soon and DD says she and her besties are on the way to the café (not sure if it's for a change of scene for revision or just a break) so got the place to myself! And girlfriends coming round this eveningSmile

Rose, hope the birthday lunch goes well, Herbs your trip looked and sounds fab, BD sorry to have missed you.

DH has spent 3 III hours on a holiday plan for NZ. It is the document with days and flights filled in. Nothing elseConfused He has now asked me to put in what I want to doAngry

wilbur · 27/05/2015 17:07

Lovely to see BD, MrsS and Molly for a bit of a catch up yesterday and yes, play was very good, very different from the film and lots of interesting thoughts provoked.

Went to see a friend for coffee today - her mother died a few weeks ago, but they knew it was coming and she is remarkably positive about it. I'm sure the fact that they had great support from the local hospice and were able to keep her at home, where she died looking out over her lovely garden, has helped massively for the whole family to feel that it was as good a death as it could have been.

BTM - enjoy the empty house! I'd like one of those for a bit....

CointreauVersial · 27/05/2015 17:36

Paris sounds fab, Herbs (assuming the salmonella doesn't get you in the end).

Echoing all the comments about revision stress and/or the boredom of having working parents - my DCs seem to be swinging wildly from one type of day to another. DS has been revising hard (for him) but has a few parties planned Hmm to lighten the mood; DD2 has been out today to the swimming pool and cinema but has mainly been working on her Minecraft skills in a darkened room, and DD1 has barely been out of her PJs all week. The main issue is where we live (no public transport), so they have the choice of coming into town with me early doors, or they have to stay at home.

Work has been hideous - I've been doing more job interviews (as a favour) and the usual stuff keeps piling up....

And they've closed the main road down the hill for the week, so I have to dodge the recreational cyclists on the Zigzag Road down Box Hill, which takes ages. It's worse than the previous (winter, term time) road closure because there are whole families on bikes wobbling down the road at this time of year.

Off to pack up my recent eBay sales.... I've discovered the joy of "bundles" to get through the mountain of kid's clothes - no more listing each tiny garment separately, just whack 20 items on at once for £20. I still have stuff which is Age 3-4; considering DD2 is nearly 12 that will give you an idea of just how ridiculous the pile in the loft was getting.

bigTillyMint · 27/05/2015 18:16

CV, that sounds quite a job!

Molly, are you still on for BP on Sunday. 2pm? Anyone else?

cremolafoam · 27/05/2015 19:05

cV I feel your pain . I wonder if I could sell adult 'outfits' in a similar manner Wink
I have been poorly this last 24 hours- d&v. I blame flying. Always seem to pick something up on planes.
Supposed to be going to The British Open with ddad tomorrow. Going to have to make a spectacular recovery if I'm to support dad round a golf tournamentShock

Sympathies to those with bored teens. I recall dummy kicking us out of the house between 10am and 6 pm and told to 'make your own fun' ShockShockShock

cremolafoam · 27/05/2015 19:06

Dummy = dmum lol

motherinferior · 27/05/2015 19:06

I am off to cook dinner. I do not want to cook dinner. I suppose cooking a stir-fry won't be exactly taxing but I don't feel like it.