end of tether with bras....sizing, fit and style

[poppymoon]

and very embarrassed that i have got to 40 something years of age and have never ever worn a bra that felt comfortable. this is probably because i have never had a correctly fitting one.

most of the time i have 'worn' a 36A strapless (so i could whip the torturous thing off easily). it would appear, however, that i am actually supposed to be wearing a 34DD/E.

PLEASE DO NOT LAUGH - hahahahahahaha ahhhh go on then as it is stupidly funny.

i did some reading and measuring and reckoned that by my measurements, a 34D would 'do' (one side is a bit smaller than the other). the lady in bravissimo got me to try on a DD and i thought that was alright but she still wasn't happy with 'tissue and wires' so put me in a 34E (which looked baggy to me but i obviously know nothing).

then i bought a pretty balcony style bra from M & S. the 34DD fitted ok but really rubbed under my arms (at the front of my flabby pit, not near the wire). i eventually asked for help. the fitter fetched several matronly bras and juggled me into them. she also fetched the pretty one but in a plunge style rather than balcony. she said the 34dd wasn't big enough and gave me an E.

now i'm home, the E cup feels too big again for me and i still really want a balcony bra. i've been reading that some have wider wires than others and i've got myself in a mucking fuddle.

soooooo, could anyone please advise me on the way these contraptions are supposed to fit 'properly' and let me know if there really may be a 'wider wire, narrower straps' balcony bra out there?

i'd best order both i think. tried a couple of unlined freyas on in debenhams and the 32f was tight and bulgy in both styles. i thought i'd found a make with a consistent size that fits me. i was wrong.

Personally, I need a bigger size in Freya unlined than in deco, probably about a cup size up.

I have only read part way through this thread but just wanted to add that I followed the "bra guru" measuring guide to find my right size. I was wearing a 34C which I thought was ok - admittedly a few of my bras didn't always fit perfectly but I thought that was just my weird boobs . However after re measuring turns out I am a 32E (measured 31 but advised to size up/ down to see what was comfortable)

Sceptically I went off to M & S only to find that said bras did indeed fit! Was slightly embarrasssed going into the fitting rooms - kept expecting the SA to say "you can't possibly try those on, they'll be too big!"

It really is worth measuring to get your correct size.

i'm thinking that with the freya too stats. so, from 36A to 32FF. oh dear oh dear oh dear. i've got loads of old 34" band bras (cups all too small, sadly) and even they feel loose in the band now. weird how quickly what feels 'right' seems to change.

i had a similar issue in m & s aberchips. some of the ones i liked went up to an E cup (in theory) so the 'fitter' told me to wear a 36D or 38C as 32F is not a 'normal' size.

admittedly i'm not a skinny slip of a girl but i finally know how big my rib cage is - or isn't.

as 32F is not a 'normal' size

That sort of thing really, really gets up my nose. SorrelForbes and I once tried to guesstimate what we reckon the average bra size is, based on all the women we've intervened on here. We reckoned that it is was probably somewhere around 32FF. When women are fitted properly, it's a really normal size.

i know. bloody annoying. it means that all of these oh so abnormally sized women have to shop online and are treated with the hassle and expense of ordering several hundred bras in the hope that one may just feel 'nice'.

Ooh, my Bravissimo order arrived today. The Eden and Deco, both 32D seem to fit pretty well, in fact I have kept the Deco on and I can hardly tell that I'm wearing it!
The Patsy is a 32DD and it's gaping quite a bit. I think perhaps I am a D cup, not E like they said in the shop.
What I'd really like to do is wear each one for a day to make sure they are comfy but I suppose I'll have to keep the labels on in case I want to return them!

I may be guilty of doing that occasionally - maybe not for a full day, but if it's a new style or brand I'll give them a longer try on at home certainly

I think it'll be ok so long as I remember to change bras before I go out!!

Great news pointless :) must admit, my deco has grown on me and is much comfier under the arms now. I finally took the tags off so she's a keeper. it gets stranger though as the debenhams one I bought that seems to fit like a glove apart from the ridiculous armpit trauma again is actually a 32ff. Either they run small, my fat is shifting or my current eating habits are punishing me.

Glad you got fixed up bringmejoy :)

Debenhams gorgeous? they run small and tight generally

I am loving the Deco so far today and even contemplating removing the labels..!

yes, its a debenhams gorgeous stats. i thought i'd need a 34e but the band felt a bit loose now i've got used to tighter ones. i then umm'd and ahhh'd about whether i needed a 34f as it cut in a bit at the top. i got fed up so just grabbed what i thought was a 32f and tried it at home. fits like a glove apart from the armholes digging in and then i realised i'd picked up a 32ff anyway.

so yes, the cups do seem to run small but i found that with the unpadded freyas too.

wondering whether i should try to alter armholes or stick it out and wait for callouses to develop.

pleased to hear it pointless and yes, bringmejoy, the step towards properly fitting undercrackers after all these years DOES bring me joy

Thanks, Bringmejoy. It's certainly bringing more joy than any others I've tried!!

Can I put in a word for getting fitted at Rigby and Peller? After a lifetime of being tormented by badly fitted bras, my life was transformed by the genius ladies at R&P who are also really kind and experienced - they introduced me to the Empreinte bra which is brilliant. R&P is expensive, so I have taken to buying one bra from them after all their advice and work, and then ordering follow-ups/other colours on line (again Figleaves has been great, much cheaper than R&P and really good on returns). I don't work for any of the above but have been made miserable by department store bra ladies since I was 11 years old (a very long time ago…..) and know the difference a good fitter can make!

i've just looked and the nearest rigby and peller store to me is about 2 and a half hours away (in smoothly running traffic) tutak. it does sound like they provide a good service though

A quick question to bra people -
How long after stopping breastfeeding do you think I should go and get new bras? I want to go to the local Bravissimo but not if it means getting bras that won't fit me in three months time.

Stevie that is the exact situation I am in. I am only feeding at night now and shortly returning to work so I decided to just get 2 bras for now rather than spending loads and then having to buy a different size in a couple of months. Bras don't come cheap!
The Deco is definitely a keeper and I'm going to try out the Eden tomorrow. Definitely returning the third one and going to try really hard to get a refund and not exchange it for knickers to match the other two!

I can't help you with that one stevie. I finished breast feeding many years ago and I hadn't even contemplated bra fitting then. I was smaller and perter in those days (sob).

glad you have found a keeper pointless. which colour deco did you get? i don't think the basic coloured ones need the matching knickers but the eden is very pretty and would look so nice as a set........

That's what I'm thinking actually. The Deco is grey with white lace so will go with existing white pants but the Eden set is lovely!