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Original poster

end of tether with bras....sizing, fit and style

248 replies

poppymoon · 20/01/2015 13:53

and very embarrassed that i have got to 40 something years of age and have never ever worn a bra that felt comfortable. this is probably because i have never had a correctly fitting one.

most of the time i have 'worn' a 36A strapless (so i could whip the torturous thing off easily). it would appear, however, that i am actually supposed to be wearing a 34DD/E.

PLEASE DO NOT LAUGH - hahahahahahaha ahhhh go on then as it is stupidly funny.

i did some reading and measuring and reckoned that by my measurements, a 34D would 'do' (one side is a bit smaller than the other). the lady in bravissimo got me to try on a DD and i thought that was alright but she still wasn't happy with 'tissue and wires' so put me in a 34E (which looked baggy to me but i obviously know nothing).

then i bought a pretty balcony style bra from M & S. the 34DD fitted ok but really rubbed under my arms (at the front of my flabby pit, not near the wire). i eventually asked for help. the fitter fetched several matronly bras and juggled me into them. she also fetched the pretty one but in a plunge style rather than balcony. she said the 34dd wasn't big enough and gave me an E.

now i'm home, the E cup feels too big again for me and i still really want a balcony bra. i've been reading that some have wider wires than others and i've got myself in a mucking fuddle.

soooooo, could anyone please advise me on the way these contraptions are supposed to fit 'properly' and let me know if there really may be a 'wider wire, narrower straps' balcony bra out there?

OP posts:
StatisticallyChallenged · 21/01/2015 10:42

Scooping is perfectly comfortable - it's basically just making sure that all of your breast tissue winds up properly inside the cups, as a lot of people have quite wide breast tissue. Often this is actually due to wearing bad bras, and some people even have separate lumps under their arms which are breast tissue which has been damaged by wearing wires on it.

Bravissimo dont use a measuring tape, because they have a massive stock so fit that way. But the intervention method gets a result which is generally pretty close to the bravissimo size which is why we use it as a start point. Bravissimo are for D+, which in a smaller band size does not mean big boobs. A 28D for example is actually very petite.

Poppymoon, the fitter was correct in that you need to fit your larger side - although have you looked at the information on asymmetry on the better bra campaign blog? it might be helpful. It sounds like your breasts are naturally quite bottom heavy so you are going to struggle to get much curviness to the top half of them - it's more a case of finding a bra which doesn't actually gape or feel too baggy. Does the Melrose sit flat against you, or do you have visible excess fabric when standing normally? A bit of movement in different positions is normal e.g. when moving arms to different positions I sometimes seem to have loose fabric, but if I didn't then when standing normally it would be too tight

rybka13 · 21/01/2015 10:46

Girls, I feel your pain. There is no Bravissimo nowhere near (well if and hour and half of driving could sort my problem I would go but after reading about all ill fitted bras I am a bit reluctant). So I went to old M&S and was meassured 38F. And believe me or not without bra I look rather flattish. I was given a lot of granny style bras to try which were making my ladies looking like some kind of flattened from the top cones. Lady serving me lost her temper at some point and said that "I came obviously with something in mind" or something to that sense. Well at 38 years of age I still would like to wear bra which is remotly sexy...I settled for the one looking fairly ok, underwired with light padding but after a few washes the band came hughe and the cups too big. So I went back. This time I was 40F...and the band is ok but the cups are too small.Geez. I am losing it. I tried to meassure myself at home according to many different websites and it is everything from 36F to 44DD.I have to say in an act of desperacy I bought 38F t shirt bra from ASDA and it is so far the best one at I think 4 pounds! And washes very well. I am so fed up this week I decided to go braless (ok, at home and with vest top underneath) but I feel like crying [sobbing]

HazleNutt · 21/01/2015 10:53

if M&S measured you as 38F, you are probably around 34H or thereabouts.

mabelbabel · 21/01/2015 11:14

StatisticallyChallenged - I guess what I mean is that if a D cup is actually pretty standard (small, on a small band size), then Bravissimo are missing a trick here! They should try and get everybody through their doors! As it is at the moment there are whole swathes of the population in their dodgy M&S sizes who wouldn't for a minute think of even looking in the Bravissimo window. Why not just sell themselves on the basis of good bras, and good service, to suit everyone? They seem to be pretty good at it!

StatisticallyChallenged · 21/01/2015 11:31

I sort of agree, as we've found that in reality there are very few people who are really less than a D cup - I'd say I've probably, in all the bra threads on here, found less than 15 people who were C cup or less.

But, Bravissimo started because it was enormously difficult for women who were D+, and especially those who were say G+, to find bras to fit. They kind of created a bit of a safe place where women who were bigger sizes could go, and know that the vast majority of the bras in the shop would be available in their size (there's a bit of variance at the top end, so some stop at J, others K etc, but you get my drift). Most of the bras they sell are from specialist manufacturers who only make D+, so to extend down the range they would have to find alternative suppliers and bras (as even though most wouldn't need them, they'd need to have aa-C available). As these often wouldn't overlap with their current clientele you could easily end up with a 2 tier bra shop. I like Bravissimo partly because it's not like my local debenhams, where I have to go in to a separate "fuller" section to find a bra that fits.

Original poster
poppymoon · 21/01/2015 11:49

statisticallychallenged, when i stand 'properly' ie without slouching, yes, the melrose fits pretty flat. i'd say on my bigger side, its pretty perfect. on the other, its ok when i stand properly but i will try the tips for assymetry on the blog.

i put a plunge bra on this morning but it seems that i tend to either be builders bum booby or slopey granny look at the moment.

i will endeavour to find something in between although realistically, i know my shape will never let me have a 'perky' look. darn that beautiful baby that sucked the life out of them all those years ago!

OP posts:
SirVixofVixHall · 21/01/2015 14:24

If you want perky then you need Ewa Michalak. Stat got me into them and they are lovely bras. Also the padded cup styles often have removeable pads so that you can just use a pad in one side, to correct any asymetry.

Pointlessfan · 21/01/2015 15:16

I'm a bit asymmetrical too, OP. The bra I got was the Satine.
Good news about their returns policy, I'll try taking it back at the weekend.

Original poster
poppymoon · 21/01/2015 17:20

i've filled a basket on figleaves now redcagoule - are you sure they're ok with returns (and swift with the refunds - my poor debit card!!). i fear a non-wired bra would leave me totally shapeless though.

i've had a look on the ewa michalak website sirvix and the stuff looks lovely but i'm still none the wiser about which style may work so i'm not sure how economical the shipping to and fro would be. how do they compare pricewise? i like the idea of being able to correct the assymetry. i'm sure i have some of those 'chicken fillet' things somewhere i could try.

OP posts:
Original poster
poppymoon · 21/01/2015 17:28

even more confused now as the measurement guide on ewa michalak sizes me as an 85C.

OP posts:
Redcagoule · 21/01/2015 17:32

I've just checked the Figleaves website and it says returns are free as long as you are keeping at least one item, and £3 something if you return everything. More reason to try in loads of stuff. Hope you find something that works.

HazleNutt · 21/01/2015 18:03

ignore their measuring guide, order your normal uk size.

StatisticallyChallenged · 21/01/2015 18:21

Ignore EM size guide! Depending on the bra, some of them run a bit snug (the SM styles particularly!) so you might have to go up one band size at most. The widest of the EM styles are the CH/CHP I would say.

Original poster
poppymoon · 21/01/2015 18:32

right then. on a shopping mission.

so for each bra that i like, i should get assorted sizes? (i still think i'm a dd not an e but i suppose ladies who fit bras for a living probably know more than the dufus who has been wearing an a cup.....).

for example 34d, 34dd, 34e, 36d, 36dd? unless the band is really snug, i think a 36 will ride up at the back.

OP posts:
Pointlessfan · 21/01/2015 18:33

I hope you find something that fits.
The other bra I ordered from Bravissimo arrived today (they were out of stock) so I'm going to wear it tomorrow and see how I get on.
Bras are bloody expensive aren't they?? Even worse as I can never resist the matching knickers!

Original poster
poppymoon · 21/01/2015 18:50

i have to have the knickers too. its imperative (unless the bra is plain black, white or nude) :D

which one did you order from bravissimo pointlessfan?

OP posts:
Pointlessfan · 21/01/2015 18:53

I got the Eden bra. It's very pretty so I hope it fits!

StatisticallyChallenged · 21/01/2015 18:56

I'd probably experiment more with UK bras before doing an Ewa Michalak order, just so you have a better idea of size as returning to Poland is a bit more expensive.

I don't think you need non wired bras, you just need to find wires which suit you. If your boobs are quite wide rooted and relatively full on the bottom then the Freya Patsy half cup, Fauve half cup, Curvy Kate Tease me/Thrill me/ritzy, Cleo Juna, Masquerade balconettes/half cups like the Rhea and Angie, Tutti Rouge, Bravissimo half cups like the mademoiselle....

I tend to disagree with the M&S fitter about plunges, as it sounds like your breasts are quite bottom heavy (which is why the Melrose gapes) and plunges are taller and more likely to do this. There are exceptions - the Bravissimo Satine for example might work, did you try that at all?

I don't think you will need a 36 in any of those - it was only for some of the polish brands which can run a bit snug.

Pointlessfan · 21/01/2015 19:00

On closer examination it appears to be a Freya half cup - bit confused, is that a different brand? Excited after what statistics just posted though, maybe this is The One!

dingit · 21/01/2015 19:10

Statistically, could I be cheeky and ask what is similar to Panache Tango. This is all I have, and I would love another style. Thanks!

Original poster
poppymoon · 21/01/2015 19:12

could someone sub me a few hundred quid for my figleaves order!!! i'm ordering a selection of freyas. i want something pretty. i have lots (an obscene amount) of very pretty bras i have accumulated over the years that don't (if they ever did) fit me. sigh.

must admit, the m & s fitter did make me feel a bit horrible. especially when she almost laughed at the sight of me oozing out of one of the plunge push ups. and all my life i've felt self conscious for being flat chested....

has your freya arrived pointless? if so, try it on and let me know how it fits (if you are a similar shape to me).

OP posts:
StatisticallyChallenged · 21/01/2015 19:13

Freya is the manufacturer, eden is the style - i think the eden is the same cut as the patsy half cup.

Pointlessfan · 21/01/2015 19:14

Just about to eat dinner but will try it after and let you know.

StatisticallyChallenged · 21/01/2015 19:14

which tango do you have dingit?

dingit · 21/01/2015 19:16

Erm, I don't know! Didn't realise there were more than one. I've got it in 3 colours if that helps Blush I'm a 34J.