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Original poster

end of tether with bras....sizing, fit and style

248 replies

poppymoon · 20/01/2015 13:53

and very embarrassed that i have got to 40 something years of age and have never ever worn a bra that felt comfortable. this is probably because i have never had a correctly fitting one.

most of the time i have 'worn' a 36A strapless (so i could whip the torturous thing off easily). it would appear, however, that i am actually supposed to be wearing a 34DD/E.

PLEASE DO NOT LAUGH - hahahahahahaha ahhhh go on then as it is stupidly funny.

i did some reading and measuring and reckoned that by my measurements, a 34D would 'do' (one side is a bit smaller than the other). the lady in bravissimo got me to try on a DD and i thought that was alright but she still wasn't happy with 'tissue and wires' so put me in a 34E (which looked baggy to me but i obviously know nothing).

then i bought a pretty balcony style bra from M & S. the 34DD fitted ok but really rubbed under my arms (at the front of my flabby pit, not near the wire). i eventually asked for help. the fitter fetched several matronly bras and juggled me into them. she also fetched the pretty one but in a plunge style rather than balcony. she said the 34dd wasn't big enough and gave me an E.

now i'm home, the E cup feels too big again for me and i still really want a balcony bra. i've been reading that some have wider wires than others and i've got myself in a mucking fuddle.

soooooo, could anyone please advise me on the way these contraptions are supposed to fit 'properly' and let me know if there really may be a 'wider wire, narrower straps' balcony bra out there?

OP posts:
FiloFunky · 25/01/2015 20:47

please could you tell me what i should be looking for. 33.5 under. 39 over.

curreNtly in 34DD from New look. slightly padded cups. my limited choices for shopping are matalan peacocks and new look....

StatisticallyChallenged · 25/01/2015 21:05

You're actually in one of the sizes I'd recommend trying - your measurements would suggest 32F, 32E, 34E and 34DD. How are your 34DDs fitting?

FiloFunky · 25/01/2015 21:11

they feel uncomfortable. under my armpit around the bottom of the breast. if that makes sense. they move a little if i stretch up so have to rearrange it often.

i cannot do up a 32 at all!

StatisticallyChallenged · 25/01/2015 21:26

Hmm, what cup size did you try in a 32? If the cup is too small, the band will feel too tight.

When you say they move, is it the band moving up? or the cups riding over your breasts?

Under your armpit, is the wire sitting on your breast tissue do you think?

FiloFunky · 25/01/2015 21:32

yes i think so but i cant find wires that dont and i find wireless ones give me no shape at all.

the 32s i tried were dd and e. i felt like i was going do myself an injury trying to do it up behind my back!

when i stretch or reach it rides up at the front. often i have red marks higher than i expect to see them from where the bra has been pressing.

StatisticallyChallenged · 25/01/2015 21:37

OK. You need more cup space.

Can I just check, did you take that overbust measurement leaning over and braless like described here?

FiloFunky · 25/01/2015 22:02

i did indeed. as close to 90 degrees as i could get!

StatisticallyChallenged · 25/01/2015 22:11

If the wires are sitting on your breast tissue, then you either need a bigger cup size, a bra with wider wires, or both. I'm guessing if it's lifting at the front it doesn't sit flat between your boobs either?

I think you might be someone who measures a smaller cup size than they need. A 32E would only be the same cup volume as a 34DD, so won't be bigger in the cup. The bra riding up at the front is, generally, a sign of the band being too loose as well but it could be something else.

I'd suggest you should try a 34E, 34F and possibly a 32F/FF as well. But, I think you'd be better ordering some bras only rather than trying to find something locally - none of the shops available to you specialise in bras and their quality and sizing will be variable at best. If you are finding wires tend to sit on breast tissue under your arms then I think you probably have relatively wide breasts so I would maybe look for Freya and Curvy Kate as a starting point.

FiloFunky · 25/01/2015 22:20

i will give them all a go! Grin

i used to a wear a 36a Shock Blush thinking that was right and just uncomfortable. thought everyone jist put up with the discomfort!!! how daft!

i am determined to find a comfy bra one day!!

Original poster
poppymoon · 25/01/2015 23:28

Your measurements are similar to mine filo, about 33 and 39.5, and I too have been wearing 36a for years and always felt uncomfortable. Our,now have assorted sizes and brands ranging from 36a and c, 34dd, d and e and now 32f and 34f. So frustrating that sizing is so hit and miss, never mind the styles!

OP posts:
Original poster
poppymoon · 25/01/2015 23:31

Hmmm just thought, my leaning over measurement is about 40.5 I think. would this make much difference size wise if it's an inch bigger than standing measurement?

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Original poster
poppymoon · 25/01/2015 23:44

Apologies for typos in my post. using my phone with chunky fingers and stubborn predictive text is not a great idea.

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StatisticallyChallenged · 26/01/2015 09:13

That would be pretty much spot on for the 32f/34e tbh. A 7" difference is a starting point of an f cup, then when you have an odd underbust we suggest trying sizes either side. So I'd have said, based on those, to try 32ff, 32f, 34f and 34e.

Unfortunately bras are a bit like jeans, vary lots

Original poster
poppymoon · 26/01/2015 09:19

thanks stats. i seem to be in the right area then - finally. i've found some bargains online but they're not really bargains if i end up stuck with them and they don't fit.

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StatisticallyChallenged · 26/01/2015 09:33

I order and return lots of bras, my postie knows me well!

Original poster
poppymoon · 26/01/2015 10:08

can you recommend any online companies with good returns policies? (free would be better :D)

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StatisticallyChallenged · 26/01/2015 12:13

Amazon, surprisingly, have a good selection of bras. asos have free returns too. Others I've used but can't remember the policies are leia, brastop, mycurvesandme, Debenhams, bras and honey, bravissimo...

Original poster
poppymoon · 26/01/2015 14:42

the lovely deco moulded seems wonky today :( its as if my smaller side fits the wires perfectly but gapes a bit at the top yet bigger side doesn't seem to be able to drop down/squish into the wire but fits better at the top.

maybe i'm just too weirdly shaped for any of them.

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StatisticallyChallenged · 26/01/2015 15:01

Joys of asymmetry. It sounds like your larger breast is a little too big for the cup - you'll probably be able to tell better whether the breast is too wide or too deep for it. It could also be what's called orange in a glass, where the overall volume is right but the shape is off so the breast can't get to the bottom of the bra.

For the smaller one, have you tried the asymmetry tips on the blog?

There is always a bit of a trade off when your boobs are different sizes, trying to get comfort for both often means that one side or the other won't be an absolutely perfect fit. How does it feel?

Pointlessfan · 26/01/2015 15:11

I've just ordered the three bras I mentioned yesterday. I'm trying not to get too excited in case none of them fits!

Original poster
poppymoon · 26/01/2015 15:41

it feels ok. i'm conscious of how far the side of the cup (not the wire) goes into the front of my armpit and i still seem to have fat bulges above there. if the cup on the smaller side proved to be problematic, i could sort that with a little pad. my main concern is that it still doesn't fit properly so i'll be continuing my many years of squishing into incorrectly fitting bras. if only that wire was a smidge wider so i dropped into it properly.........i'd give it a yank but if it still didn't fit, i don't think the shop would be happy having it back.

now i've found out that bras should and can be comfortable, i suppose i'm looking for the perfect one - which doesn't exist with assymetrical norks.

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Original poster
poppymoon · 26/01/2015 15:43

i really hope you have some success pointless. where have you ordered from?

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StatisticallyChallenged · 26/01/2015 15:52

I think you might need something wider for your bigger nork by the sound of it. I know what you mean re not continuing to squish yourself -asymmetry will always mean a bit of a balance and I suspect if you compared it to your old bras you would see a huge improvement, but I don't think it's quite there yet. How is the Lauren -did you keep that or return?

Original poster
poppymoon · 26/01/2015 16:23

even wider! the deco seems pretty wide and is a 32f. i do see a huge difference already but even in debenhams, i was picking up bras i thought would fit as they looked big and they were a c or d cup.

the lauren has a similar armpit rubbing problem. i did return it but may buy it again (even though it seemed to spread me out more and gave the impression that i was a ten year old boy).

so i'm looking for ..... wide, quite shallow, not too high a gore, straps not too far apart, something that gives shape but not buttcrack cleavage and doesn't rub my armpits.

hmmm.

OP posts:
StatisticallyChallenged · 26/01/2015 16:38

And would you like fries with that? Grin

What you need to try and work out with the Deco is whether the cup is too narrow (so you need more width and that's why you can't drop down in to it), or too shallow (so you need more depth in the cup). I'm guessing from previous descriptions it's width.

Your armpits issue, it could just be a case of getting used to the new pressure points. You know the first time when the weather is nice, and you take out your comfy flip flops or sandals, pop them on, and within an hour you've got a blister even though you know the damn things fit? But it's because your feet have been in whatever warm, practical shoes all winter which have different pressure points. The same is true of bras, especially when you experience a massive change in size like you have - your old bra cups will have been sitting far too far forward I suspect. The armpits could just be a breaking the bra in issue.