How can I go grey gracefully?

[NormaCore]

So I am mid 30s with dark hair that I have been dyeing since my early 20s. I get my roots done every 6 weeks at the hairdresser but I really fancy going back to my natural colour. I have lots of white hairs now that seem to spring up within a few weeks of getting it done. But how do I ease the transition until the roots have grown out?

I feel quite excited to stop dyeing but don't know how to start.

Match not march of course - but they probably don't march anymore either ...

Thats interesting loiner

You see I'm 40 next year and really white/grey all over. But I wonder if I will look mismatched with grey hair as my skin is pretty good clear and minor lines.

I just want my hair and face to look like they belong together I guess.

I have a colleague in her mid sixties. She never wears make up except occasionally, lipstick and her hair is completely grey but she has a really sharp haircut. Does she look her age? Yes probably but she also looks switched on on modern and that is how I hope to look.

Sorry that should have said 'switched on and modern'.

As a kind of by the way, I think the standard of hairdressing ( including colouring) in the UK is pretty poor overall. There are many hairdressers who are bad or mediocre. Sadly their clients reflect this lack of expertise.
I couldn't agree more that a full head of solid colour as you get older is awfully ageing and dated. Lots of comments here- as I think I said earlier- are about bad hair colour- not done subtly.
Your hair and your face generally have to 'match'- which is why grey at a young age looks a bit odd on most women and solid brown or black or overly bleached highlights look bad on older women. I have a friend who is late 70s; when she was younger she was dark but now her hair is a mix of dark and goldy blonde with a bit of grey, cut in a modern style and she looks fantastic- nice make up, modern yet classic clothes, good jewellery.

I think you have it spot on Santa but I think many women go for home dyes instead of finding a good professional colourist.
This leads to blocky colour that fades to orange .

I agree that your face and hair have to match - that's why I am currently still colouring .
I am 52 but look 42.

Grey would really age me - if colour ages you then fair enough.
I don't look like John Major btw

But face and hair would match if we didn't have this weird idea that women don't let themselves go grey/ look old if they are grey.
I think people should do what makes them feel good, but if we are talking in a wider context it's really odd that women aren't grey at a natural age but men mostly are. Another thing where they way women look requires more effort to be acceptable?
I don't think I look older than 41. I have grey hair, mainly, and I look better than when I dyed it myself and I couldn't be bothered in the end with the expense and effort of a hairdresser every six weeks. So of the choices available, I've made the right one for me.

hairdresser : nope, does not compute
have my hair cut about once every 5 years which is more than enough

But women do look younger in their 40s and 50s now - better nutrition, skincare ,exercise and sun awareness all contribute.
2 hours once a month is hardly a massive effort to have hair that I like .
I get a deep conditioner as well .
Oh god I had my eyebrows threaded this morning shoots self it took about 7 minutes .

alpacas
absolutely
my great grandmother was an old lady by the time she was 50
my grandmother was a "dowager"
my Mum was a frump at 50
I dress the way my elders did at much younger ages than they did
because of : yoga, moisturisers, good food, conditioners

dyeing your hair to augment the natural colour and make yourself feel better is fine
but please, do not kid yourself that chestnut hair will hide 60 year old hands

"ageing" "old before your time" etc etc
pah
you can look a young version of your age - my personal fab person is Jo Wylie
but when push comes to shove, true age will always show
so try to wear it well, not deny it

if staying dark haired suits you, go for it, but keep watch for the "cliff Richard / Paul McCartney" look

Well I disagree- ageing is a combination of genetics and lifestyle.

Not liking the "make yourself feel better" "true age will always show"
snipeyness.
I am 52 - I look fucking fantastic! way better than I did at 32 .
Im not denying anything- I have a great lifestyle and luckily due to an allergy stayed out of the sun when my contemporaries were frying themselves.
I really don't need to be patronised by you and as for the Paul McCartney look - ODFO !

The thing is, grey hair might age you (but - why does it age women so much more than men? Does it, actually? Or do we just perceive it to, because we're conditioned to see older women with dyed hair?).

It also might not age you. Dyed hair might be the aging factor. Everyone is different.

As someone who dyes their hair at 41, with considerable grey coming through at my front parting and temples, this is something I have to start thinking about.

Personally, I think it is entirely possible to look great at any decade, and at any age (although naturally, it takes effort). I don't think you have to look 10 or even 5 years younger in order to look good.

I would far rather look elegant, sharp, attractive, relevant, stylish, whatever, than young, per se. Yes, it's always nice when people are surprised to find out one's age, but there come a point (perhaps not yet for me) when you do start having to making adjustments to your look.

I do agree with others who say weight and clothes choices are almost certainly far more aging than hair color.

Thanks to this thread, I'm beginning to think that all things being equal, it's dyed hair that falls short of the mark, long-term.

Alpacas I don't know why you're arguing at me? I've just said I didn't want to spend time and money in the hairdresser myself, and I think it's a shame that women generally are expected to not have grey hair. I don't care if you thread your brows - mine are waxed and tinted every month at Benefit.

I think actually that 2 hours every single month is quite a commitment, because it involves freeing up more than just those 2 hours (depending on where the hairdresser is), plus the expense, plus the fact that if you don't get it done it can look pretty shit very quickly. For me is the added disincentive that I loathe going to the hairdresser at all!

I agree with you Alpaca.

This 'your true age will show' is rubbish. As are references to P McCartney and Cliff. FGS! If that is someone's idea of hair colouring it shows how out of date and behind the times they are.

I don't actually try to hide my age at all. But I do like to look good and look after myself, having taken care of my skin, hair and figure/fitness for years. It's a compliment if people tell me I don't look my age ( which they often do) but I don't set out to look 'younger'. I make the effort and many women (especially in the UK compared with Europe) don't.

FWIW my hair is 90% its natural colour. In summer it goes much lighter (I was blonde as a child) so all I have done every 9-12 months are 20 foils along my parting to add some warmth and a bit of brightness ( no harsh white highlights or all over dyes, thank you very much.) Am I doing this to look younger? No. I am doing it because grey hairs make me look pale and washed out. This takes 2 hours - once or twice a year.

Grey hair is ageing usually because skin colour fades at the same time so the whole effect is more toned down and , let's face it, there are very few 80 or 90 yr olds around with dark hair. If you don't want to dy it, fine, but don't kid yourself about the impact it will have re, your appearance.

Well, of course some people will look older if they revert to grey. But every single one...?

Is that what you're saying?

Maybe some of them will just look their age, but better for it...?

Im not Nerf
Applauds Santa !

Im pointing out to Talkin that at the age of 52 I dont have hair like Cliff Richard or bloody Paul McCartney ! What a fucking cheek !

it would be a bit like me saying she looks like this

wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/ultimateclassicrock.com/files/2013/05/Brian-May.jpg

I look good for my age - Im not trying to cover up/conceal anything .
That is where the sniping becomes misogyny - ie there is something wrong with 50 or 60 year old hands.

womens

It's not an exact science!

All I'd say is that for many women, going grey prematurely compared to their peers, can make them look older. Obviously make up, clothes, figure and hair style contribute a lot to the overall 'look' - but generally a woman who goes grey early and makes no effort with her appearance will look older than someone the same age who is grey but uses make up well ( not slapping it on with a trowel before anyone assumes that), watches their weight and dresses well.

Look at Judi gench: she looks fab with grey hair at 80, but had she had the same hairstyle and greyness at 40, I don't think she'd have looked so good.

Ditto the Queen- she was verging on the solid colour helmet a few years back, which wasn't a good look coming up to 80, gradually went lighter then silver. It suits her, though I also think she could get away with some very fine light blonde/ caramel streaks if she wanted to.

On the other hand Jane Asher is still an (unnatural) redhead but looks great and natural at 68.

@Alpaca photo link - No the hair would be longer because some of them only go to the hairdressers once in 5 years

What is so bad about ageing? Marketing companies have done a number on us, they really have. Why is it seen as such a great thing that we look younger than we are? Why is wisdom not valued in our society? I really think that our view of what constitutes ageing has been skewed over the years.

Ages ago I realised what it is that I find attractive in other people. It's nothing to do with how much effort they make or don't make. Nothing to do with their clothes or hair or make up or anything like that. It's kind, sparkly eyes and an open smile. Mostly the eyes though. That's it.

I thought I'd better check myself for signs of facial fading. Phew, I think I'm ok...it'll be a while before I become completely invisible!

I didn't mean to come back to this thread. It's just so interesting how divided women are on this subject. I wonder if blokes have heated debates about how much effort they are making on their appearance.

Age & wisdom, and looking good are not mutually exclusive, you know.

You can choose to look like Mary Beard if that's your look, or a bit sharper like Joan Bakewell who is no intellectual slouch, but does dye her hair and looks great imo.

Im not against aging at all miss
I am one of those women who is happy with how she looks and isn't mourning my youth- far from it.
I love the way I look now - age 52

There is definitely an air of superiority about the way you are discussing some women Santa, even if you are joking.

I haven't been to the hairdresser in 5 years because my hair was falling out very badly due to an eating disorder. There wasn't much to style. Now it is growing back I am oddly fond of having longer hair. I have about 10% grey and it's really curly now too. I'm a little way off that Brain May pic though

I also don't have the income to spend getting stuff done to my hair. I have other priorities. Sometimes life gets in the way of style! If I was rolling in it, I'd still keep my unkempt barnet.

Maybe less judgement all round, eh?