How can I go grey gracefully?

[NormaCore]

So I am mid 30s with dark hair that I have been dyeing since my early 20s. I get my roots done every 6 weeks at the hairdresser but I really fancy going back to my natural colour. I have lots of white hairs now that seem to spring up within a few weeks of getting it done. But how do I ease the transition until the roots have grown out?

I feel quite excited to stop dyeing but don't know how to start.

Dammit. I've never owned a pair of Jimmy Choos, either?

Why do women do that to their feet?

Apologies for the stray question mark.

jimmy choo
ha ha
I'll stick to Unisa as I have wide feet

my hair colour does not define me
my ability as an accountant defines me
that and my ability to do any yoga pose the teacher throws at me

if you think that hair dye will make you look younger than 50 when you are 50, you are sadly deluded

botox makes people look thick ( especially as to accept it involves not understanding what it is )

too much makeup on ladies as old as me generally looks crap

I'll settle for my grey hair, swimming tan and toned limbs ta muchly

I'm a young looking 53. Haven't dyed my hair for 13 months now. My 7 inches of regrowth is 90% grey, silvery in front, steely elsewhere, and ends are blonde (leftover from when I dyed it). My hair is long and layered. It's not Brillo pad at all, silky and shiny actually, and in great condition - regular trims and good shampoo etc, bristle hairbrush, Microfibre towel, no straighteners or tongs etc.
Some people think it's aging/washes me out, but I look after my skin and my clothes and I think I look pretty cool albeit a bit older with my greys than when blonde. Blonde, however, I think made me look like I was trying to look young - whereas grey makes me look like I'm not afraid of my age.
Which I think is better.
Can't wait for it to grow out though, the 2 tone effect is a bit wearing. But I'd look awful with short hair (big nose, long face etc).
Anyway, my overall feeling is long silky grey hair, looked after with care, and young clothes and nice make up, looks as good and often better than long dyed hair once you reach 50. Don't be afraid of long and grey, the witchy thing is anti-fem propaganda, IMO.

Botox makes people look thick.

I am defined by my job as an accountant ( wonder if you'd say the same if you worked on the till at Asda?) and being able to do yoga.

Colouring your hair at 50 does not make you look younger than 50.

How old are you Talk? - out of interest?

santas
if you read my posts properly you'd have clicked on my profile and answered your own question

bibi
go for it

Thanks Talkinpeace.
Obviously it's fine to dye, or not to dye. It's a choice, not a duty, at least that's how it should be.
But I think there's a lot of scaremongering pressure about aging aimed at women that it's good to stand up against.
Unselfishness and kindness and zest for life make people attractive at any age - we can all try to be kind can't we? And the zest for life thing has nothing to do with hair colour. Dyed or grey, you can't fake enthusiasm and energy.

Gosh the one thing I cannot get over on this thread is the assumption that
women look worse at 50 than at 30.
I was a stick thin wreck at 30- I was so stressed, sleep deprived and anxious I hardly recognise my self in photos.
I am 52 - slim but not thin, I cycle ,swim and run.
I don't count calories ,I eat what I like and have never sunbathed ,I can afford good skin care and good food.
I have very few wrinkles and my skin is smooth and my pores tiny .
I feel in the prime of my life and yet I should hang my head because once a month I get my hair done.
What a crock...

Alpacas
read what Swedishedith said

its about feeling right for each of us
I do not look older and worse because I do not dye my hair
you do not look younger and better because you do
but if you naturally have no wrinkles, you lucky thing

we all make the choice that suits us and our lifestyles
BUT
have to accept that behind the dye, most women over 35 are a fair bit grey
AND
if women object to ageism, they have to accept that obsessive highlights have added to the problem

I'm lucky in that my chosen profession respects experience
so therefore is less ageist and sexist than many

Talk the way you keep using those strike-outs looks passive aggressive. And a bit patronising. If you want to make a comment that is unpleasant, it's not any less so by using the 'strike' facility.

I'm a bit gobsmacked that you think any woman who uses Botox does not have the intellect to know what it is or what it does. (And I haven't had it.)

I'm 3 months off 60. I have no wrinkles, a BMI of 19 ( same as at 21), am fit and toned, and people who don't know my age genuinely think I am 45-ish so they have told me. I am also a professional where ageism is non-existent. But unlike some posters I don't feel the need to shout about any of this.

However, I do have one fault. Every 9 months I have some low and highlights put in my hair. Without it I am about 20% grey. Clearly though i am shallow, and should just give up based on your opinion even if you do strike it out.

Santas - no one gives a hoot whether you dye your hair, and how much of it you dye. most people are taking issue with your assertion that having natural hair colour is a sign of not caring about how you look.

You might be good at number crunching and spreadsheets, but your grasp of semantics leaves something to be desired.

I look younger and better because I prefer my hair to be chestnut with highlights It is shiny and soft and suits my colouring and soft smooth skin < boasting >
I would not look great with grey hair- I would look washed out and dull.
Nothing to do with age as my natural hair colour was dark mouse and I looked dull with mousey hair in my 20s and I would look dull with mousey hair in my 50s.
Hair is not just about age, its about preference and there are so many different choices .
If you look great with grey hair and are happy- great.
Respect others who have different ideas and stop the bloody moralising !

my Dh has pointed out that he would LOVE to have the choice of what colour his hair is but sadly it all fell out and therefore he has no choice what so ever

Alpaca that's a good point: I have spent 24 years playing with my hair for fun - colours, shaved bits, etc. The last few years have been less fun and experimenting and much more covering grey. That's the point where I decided I'd had enough. If I still felt there was a good colour,and I had the energy and money to stick to it I might do.
I do wish society would stop making out its brave and bold to allow your hair to go grey though - most women from thirties onwards have some grey so it shouldn't t really be that shocking to see it.
However, either we are heading towards more and more artifice (botox a fairly mainstream choice) to look young or we can claim back some ground and try to make it more acceptable and normal.

Why is assumed its about looking young though?
Its about looking how you feel-I most certainly dont feel grey so fuck that !

I maybe am going off track here by saying that I don't really think it matters what colour your hair is if you're a bit plump.

I think carrying extra weight is aging.

Having a supple healthy body with a fit heart and lungs is very important as to how you're going to fare in the future.

I like my hair btw, I have grey hair in the temples, and a streak from an area I landed on as a child! I use semi permanent dyes if I feel the need to conform for an event- this is happening less and less! I do the curly girl no shampoo method as I have curly hair, and it suits me to have a big mane of hair.

But being toned, fit and healthy is much more important imvho.

I do wish I had the choice about being toned and fit. I have knackered joints. Toned and fit isn't going to happen ever again.

alpaca i thikn that "feeling grey" depends upon your perception of grey.

You might think grey = drab, dreary, tired, dusty, John Major....

I tend to perceive grey = steel, granite, silver, charcoal, dusty - an old favourite sweary parrot....

I don't know what you look like, so grey on you may appear to be tiring and ageing, for all I know. For me, the abundant silver in my dark hair with my pale skin creates lots of contrast which looks rather fab with a deep, dramatic, raspberry pink top.

So at what age does dying your hair really look a bit silly?

Because I think we all have to admit that a 75-year-old with a jet black / full red / mahogany head of hair looks unreal. Even a 75-year-old with carefully honeyed tones. Unreal in the sense that it's so obviously dyed, and doesn't tally with her face?

I dye my hair (41), but I think we all have to accept that there come a point when it's fooling no-one, and no longer looks good, or even vaguely believable.

Why is it necessary to go grey when it is so ageing? I am in my early 60's and I would say I am growing older gracefully but I don't think part of that is to make myself look older than necessary. Clothes, accessories weight and lifestyle all make a difference to our physical appearance and for me that also includes hair colour that is less ageing than grey. However, if choosing the option of grey hair I would say cut and condition by a good hairdresser is vital.

Japanese Margaret, my MIL is 66 and dyes her hair black. It looks dreadful and is terribly ageing. It's also completely unbelievable and certainly does not tally with her face. A softer mix of her natural black and grey would be more flattering IMO.

My DM is the same age and stopped dyeing around 60 (she had dark brown hair, but had it dyed with highlights as she got older). She does not look older than MIL. If anything she looks a bit younger.

I think the cut is more important to looking stylish and youthful. Sticking to the same hairstyle for decades can be far more ageing than grey hair.

I have very long rod straight hair and was 75% grey by my late 20s. I started of with highlights rather than a whole head tint, just cut down on the highlights over time.

I went back to my natural hair colour (dark brown with a lot of gray) about a year or so ago, but before I STOPPED Dyeing, I had started dyieng less of my hair every time. First, the bottom of the head, then up to my ears, then I stopped the dye (which iI did myself, btw). I have not cut it yet, it's very long now -too long probably- and the ends are orange noww, so I DO need a haircut (it's just tht I have a phobia to hairdressers!!), but it looks pretty nice otherwise.

So far I've read women on this thread being negative about

going grey because it makes us look older
wearing block colour - personally I was born with my hair all one colour

It is only one aspect of our appearance after all. IMO:

The 40's and older women with bright blond hair highlighted to hell and back looks completely unrealistic too, on a weasoned (sp?) face that is orange. So it's all very well advocating dyeing to avoid looking grey and hence older, if done poorly it can look more ageing...but leat they are trying eh?

OR someone who has those horrible stripey looking highlights - look like a bloody zebras.

But I tend to dimiss this as not my choice/taste and not condem them as letting themselves or womenkind down.

I was at a party last night. - reunion of a lot of people who had been at uni together in the 70's. So we're all in our 60's now, some with slightly older spouses. Interestingly I think the women had worn a lot better than the men, but what really struck me was how fabulously grey most of the women were - there were two or three with non grey hair - clearly dyed. Having read this thread on the bus on my way there I was a bit more observant than usual on hair colour. To be frank , for me, the women with dyed hair just seemed a bit sad as the face and hair just didn't march.