How can I go grey gracefully?

[NormaCore]

So I am mid 30s with dark hair that I have been dyeing since my early 20s. I get my roots done every 6 weeks at the hairdresser but I really fancy going back to my natural colour. I have lots of white hairs now that seem to spring up within a few weeks of getting it done. But how do I ease the transition until the roots have grown out?

I feel quite excited to stop dyeing but don't know how to start.

I am 47 and almost totally grey under a natural mid brown, which zi find I have to dye blonde to cope with regrowth. But the more white zi get the more inclined the blonde is to go on gingerish, which looks great if it is natural but bad on me.

I have very short hair, and am a bit unsure about how best to go totally grey. Would probably only take around six months to grow it all out, I reckon.

I'm in my late 30s, and now probably around 30% grey, with lots and lots at the temples. I used to dye it all but for a cool grey streak just to the left of my parting. Then I got diagnosed with premature menopause and started to dye all of it because I felt prematurely ancient and the hair wasn't helping

So...I do think it looks ageing.

The in-between bit, like now, is the worst - if I had lots more grey, then I'd go a sort of ashy blonde.

somethingtodo how are you getting away with only getting it done quarterly? Does your hair grow really slowly? Am jealous?!

I started dying my hair in my teens - my greys started at 14! I decided to go natural a couple years ago (I'm 33 now), no-one ever comments negatively. I did chop it off into a pixie cut to get rid of the coloured hair, it's longer now though. The condition seems fine, I thought it would be wiry without hairdye but I think the dye itself was probably quite damaging.

My hairdresser did say having lowlights was a good way to gradually grow it out if you don't want a drastic cut.

I don't think that I look older than my years but honestly I don't think much about it now. The only thing I have changed is I don't wear a lot of grey clothes, I look washed out when I'm grey head to toe :). Anyway, having two small children seems to have stripped me of any vanity I once had!

Lovely silver grey hair all one tone can be attractive but the reality is a mix of salt and pepper or light grey, dark grey and white, and grey hair is courser as well.

My hair is naturally very dark and naturally very coarse. At 45, it is a salt and pepper, which manifests as silver sparkles in a very short cut. I've had it very short most of my life. My colouring's reached the point where dying it dark would look harsh and I can't get away with my odd venture into deep red any more (and I have very sensitive skin and hate wearing make up, so I'm not willing to paint myself to make it work). I'm very fair skinned with cool tones and a lighter brown or blonde is just a no. My dark sparkly hair makes much more of a statement and gets lots of complements.

Funnily enough, I get my hair done at a Saks, talkinpeace and I see quite a lot of well styled grey there and very few older women having their hair coloured or highlighted. Most of the colouring I've seen done there has been either young women or men.

And I've seen the Just for Men ads. The ones where a single guy's kids think it's time he got laid and hand him a box of the stuff because that couldn't possibly happen while he has a bit of silver in his hair.

I'm 40 and have a bit of grey peppered through my dark brown hair. I love the sparkly bits and feel that they reflect my life until now. I am not the same person I was 10 years ago and it's ok that my outward appearance reflects that. I have no desire to try and stay "youthful" whatever that is. I'm hardly an ancient crone! If another woman looks at me and thinks "old" then it's none of my business.

There is nothing wrong with ageing. In many cultures it's seen as a positive thing. It's very sad that we have been led down this merry road of manipulating our natural ageing process to try and appear young for longer.

If women want to spend hours in the salon getting perfectly placed highlights and lowlights in 4 different shades then good for them. But letting the grey hairs show is an equally valid choice and nothing to do with letting ourselves go or whatever negative connotations the media have fed us.

Sorry OP for ranting on your thread! Have fun rediscovering your hair whichever way you choose :)

I dye mine because when I went natural I found my naturally mousey hair even duller with grey and white hairs coming through. I cannot abide looking dull or feeling invisible! Now I dye it one colour but deliberately keep my temples/sides natural so I can monitor the grey and eventually have witchy streaks.

I am not the same person I was 10 years ago and it's ok that my outward appearance reflects that. I have no desire to try and stay "youthful" whatever that is.

Good grief! When I read this I thought the poster was 80s or 90s. But no- she's only 40.

Talk about old before your time!

Grey hair can look very stylish and elegant but it will always make you look a bit older than you are IMO.

but it will always make you look a bit older than you are IMO.
how?

I don't want to look like a plastic doll - I know I look my age. AND ?

I'm 44 and have been colouring my dark brown hair for about 18 years. 3 months ago I decided to give up colouring as I'm fed up of colouring every four weeks and having grey roots. So I used Scott Cornwell Colour Remover. It's turned my hair a coppery blonde. I've got about 4 inches of regrowth coming through and some is very white while other bits are very dark.
It's short at the moment and I probably will go a bit shorter to get rid of the blonde. But I'm determined to see it out. Good luck OP with your questate.

I don't want to look like a plastic doll - I know I look my age. AND ?

so having some subtle colour in your hair makes us look like a plastic doll.

Which plastic doll might that be , Talkin?

FGS- talk about judgy and stereotyping.

FGS- talk about judgy and stereotyping.

Actually Santa, I think that's what you are doing!

What does "old before your time" even meant to convey? I accept that I'm 40 and that I don't look the same as when I was 20 or 30. I call that realistic. I wonder why you feel the need to scorn quite so much?

I wonder why you- seemingly not caring much about your appearance- have the username you do?

IMO and experience it's often hard to place the age of women who are between 30 and 40 if they have taken care of their appearance. I know plenty around 40 who could easily be early 30s.

And 'old before your time' means that you seem to think 40 is old because you talk about it being soooooooooo much older than 30. That's all.

Greying is part of the ageing process. If you are grey before your peers you will usually look older than your peers. Most women these days chose to cover grey. If you go grey gracefully you may look very well and very stylish but you will probably look a bit older then a woman of your age (whatever that age is) looks these days. Ie you will look a bit older than you are. That may or may not bother a person but it's just something to consider.

When your children are old enough to start dyeing their hair (as mine are) its time to decide whether you should still dye your own.

A case in point
Tom Jones looked younger after he went grey than when he was still black - especially as his son had gone grey.

FWIW I take care over how I look - I'm arrogant enough to post pictures of myself in lycra after all - but hair colour is low down my list.
Toned healthy skin and muscles giving good posture and fluid movement are what really make a person look at the younger end of middle aged as they head into later years.

Ah, that's just a neat thing to say Talk . I don't suit pale coloured clothing against my skin so not sure why I'd suit pale coloured hair yet.

Msshapely I like your post. I am 40 (almost!) too and whilst it is not at all old it's not young either! At the moment I look younger than I am so when I grow the salt and pepper locks out if it adds a couple of years that's ok. If it adds say a decade I may have to go back to the dye! But am often seeing attractive grey haired women lately who are clearly in their 30s / early 40s.

Someone above said that if you are greyer than your peers then you will look older than your peers. I agree this is true but surely what's going on here is that a woman who has gone grey in her 30s is probably grey earlier than peers but only because a lot of those peers are dying their hair. I dye mine to cover the grey but I massively admire those who don't, and I truly believe that because most women don't go grey until 50s, 60s or even 70s, we only think of grey as something much much older women have. If all women let their hair go grey naturally then we would probably think of grey as a Middle Aged thing too, or even a 30s thing for some. It wouldn't be just " an old " thing

When I said most women don't go grey until... I meant don't let their hair go grey

Santasgrotto - not wanting to dye your hair is not in any way not caring about your appearance. My short, silver speckled hair and bare face is not a sign that I don't care about my appearance. I spend time and money looking after my skin (it doesn't take a lot, because I don't need a complex cleansing routine as I don't wear any make up at all) and while many people with hair the length of mine might just resort to clippers, I have mine cut carefully, by a skilled stylist and I'm still particular about the length and shape of my fringe, how it's cut around my ears and into the nape of my neck and so on.

And I have no doubt that others here who prefer a more natural look than that provided by wearing make up and dying their hair also take as much care to ensure that they look their best, within their particular style.

I would only ever consider lack of make up or natural coloured hair to be instrinsically unkempt if make up and no sign of silver was an expectation of a decorative standard applied to 100% of society and not just those with vaginas.

When your children are old enough to start dyeing their hair (as mine are) its time to decide whether you should still dye your own.

Eh?
Why?
Where is this style rule written down?

Is it also the time to decide if you should wear Country casuals instead of Top Shop and Hush Puppies instead of Jimmy Choo?

I haven't dyed my hair for over a year. I have curly hair and a handful of greys. I realised that my hair always looked blotchy and never even, despite having it done by the hairdressers, and in a variety of good salons. I have curly hair and a mixture of textures- some bits might be coarse and not have much curl, right next to soft bits that form corkscrew ringlets. I realised that each section has different porosities and therefore takes colour differently, hence it looking blotchy.

Since stopping dyeing it looks in much better condition, hardly anybody has noticed, and I have one ringlet at the front of my head that is 50% grey and looks like I have had a highlight put in it.

santa I had forgotten about my username! I've had it for years and have never felt the need to change it. My priorities have changed since then. My bum is still impressive.

Now come on - allowing myself to look my age (which is a perfectly reasonable thing to do...after all, no-one bats an eye when men do it) is not the same as not caring about my appearance. Surely you can see that there is a middle ground between Jimmy Choo and Country Casuals?

Bowing out now. I'm just so tired of the one dimensional argument that always gets trotted out on the topic of grey hair, that women who choose not to dye their hair are somehow letting the side down.