How can I go grey gracefully?

[NormaCore]

So I am mid 30s with dark hair that I have been dyeing since my early 20s. I get my roots done every 6 weeks at the hairdresser but I really fancy going back to my natural colour. I have lots of white hairs now that seem to spring up within a few weeks of getting it done. But how do I ease the transition until the roots have grown out?

I feel quite excited to stop dyeing but don't know how to start.

I'm with CMOTDibbler on this. My grandmother dyed her hair into her 70s and had a nightmare growing it out. My mother briefly dallied with semi permanent dye in her 40s but stopped quickly when realising that there is then no easy way to stop when the majority of your roots are white. I started going grey in my 20s but only at the temples. I have quite long hair with a silver streak at each temple. The only thing that made me consider dying my hair was that my children thought it made me look old but as they've got older they think that it's cool that I don't feel the need to look like a teenager! It also means that I've 'appeared' the same age for nearly 20yrs now, mid thirties is the usual guess. Come on ladies, be your beautiful selves ab=nd don't worry about the 'awkward' phase.

I do think that even if you are not grey - post 40 hair is dull and flat and a good dye adds lustre, condition, depth & youthfulness

I'm mid 30s and have just started dying my hair permanently - but have been going grey for years. Was kind of ok with it but just hated the idea that it looked like I didn't care how I looked - I don't really wear makeup and could make more effort with my clothes (although I've been trying to improve my wardrobe in the last few years and am getting there). I teach swimming so always have just out of the pool hair and just don't want to look like I don't give a shit.

Normacore,
I'm in a vaguely similar position, I'm 37 and have dark brown chin length hair, wavy/curly and layered. Ive never dyed it though. I have quite a few greys showing thro now, and whites. I have seen my nana and mum go through some terrible dye jobs on their dark brown hair and am determined to go natural.
I would maybe go to a hairdresser I really trust, and ask for a stylish but practical cut I'd thought long and hard about (layered/graduated bob, pixie crop, shoulder length bob?)and then could you slowly lighten your shade, using dyes, maybe over three cuts so your root re growth doesn't show so much, then wait for full grow out? Also like he idea if dyes/streaks if the mood took you.
I'm def going the natural route, good make up, earrings and clothes, natural hair in a good cut. Fingers crossed it works out Like that!

Don't whatever you do do what I did. I always swore I was going to go grey gracefully. I have shoulder length dark brown hair, and had several streaks of silver through it, but noticed about 12 months ago that my face was looking a bit grey and I thought my hair had something to do with it.

So I got highlights to blend the grey. When the hairdresser had finished, I cried. You could no longer notice the grey, but the lighter colour did not suit my skin colour at all.

Since then I have been dying back to my own colour with a semipermanent over the top of he highlights while I grow them out, thus defeating the entire object of the exercise.

I can't go short because I have a round fat face and would look horrid, but if you have a fine bone structure that's the way I'd do it.

Sorry to say this but there does appear to be a few very dated ideas here of what dyeing your hair really means nowadays.

The blanket one colour which was often dark and harsh is now over.
This was what happened in the 50s- 80s but hairdressing is light years away from that now.

Looking back to what your mum or gran did maybe decades ago is pointless.

No one with any fashion sense now dyes hair one solid colour- it's ageing and looks unnatural. Any good colourist will probably take you one or two tones lighter overall - more youthful- then weave in several shades- maybe 3-in very subtle colours. Regrowth should be minimal unless you are very grey ( more than 50%). You might need roots doing every 6-8 weeks but it would just be roots and not take long or be to £££.

You might find that the grey doesn't spread very fast either. I started going slightly grey in my mid 40s but now at almost 60 my colour has not changed that much since then and some lowlights sorts it out.

I agree Santa -- I look at it as £1/day that I invest in my appearance for something that I wear 24/7....which when done well professionally is transformative and the best return on investment I make with respect to clothes/beauty appearance etc. I look forward to my quarterly colour and the 2hrs in the salon ON MY OWN!!

I am a bit prematurely grey

Bleaching my hair blond (from my dark mouse colour) has been a great idea as the white hair blends in nicely and looks like highlights. In fact I need more white hair so I can be platinum blond!

I started going grey in my 20s. I have dark mouse blonde hair and it started at my temples. I've put the odd wash in/wash out blonde colour in but have never dyed it properly. possibly I'm too lazy to maintain it

Now at 43 I am quite silver at the front - still mainly at the temples but now the whole front is lighter. When I feel a bit dull I use the purple shampoo that brightens the white. I get compliments on my hair colour when I use this. People still put my age at late thirties.

Yes I get comments about 'letting myself go' and 'people won't take you seriously if you look grey'. I don't take them all that seriously so it's a 2-way street

Sorry - cat jumped on keyboard and had to reset. I'm surprised that sent.

To go grey. Have a chat with a hairdresser who understands. There will be a short cut at some point, but possibly they'll be able to lighten the hair so the grow-out isn't as obvious.

There will be days when you'll think it's not working, or someone will make a comment that will make you question yourself. Maybe give yourself a date - weeks away - that you will not succumb to dying until. You can use now as a NY resolution reason to get negative people off your back. On the date you can a) be natural hair colour, b) dye or c) extend the trial by another limited time.

Then if you are still going grey head to a cosmetic counter and get them to redo your make-up colours as you might need to tweak your depth of colour/ clothing next to your face.

I am mousey brown and used to have highlights to add blonde and a warmer auburn to my natural colour. Then I got fed up with it and,at 51, decided to see what would happen if I stopped the highlights...and the grey blended in so well it looks like highlights! All the blooming time and cash I spent on bloody highlights and my natural colour is exactly the same as the dyed one.

I use pantene shampoos and conditioners as I find they make my hair less 'coarse' looking which can be a problem with greying hair and I make sure I have a good cut - my hair is shoulder length. My hair is in better condition now after twenty years of colour, highlights and lowlights etc. I wish I had gone natural ages ago. However I will say that I have started to spend more time on my makeup. I use a brow pencil as my eyebrows are losing definition and I wear more soft pink lipsticks or, if I want to go red, I use a glossy tint rather than a heavy lipstick as my colouring can't take heavy colour anymore.

Slightly off topic but I have a question. How long does it take on average to go from the first sprinkling of grey hairs to a full head of grey? I have medium brown hair and got my first few greys about 4 years ago. I haven't used dye and thought I'd be pretty grey by now but I'm still mainly brown except for a mini-streak at one temple.

I feel inspired by these comments and I am looking forward to getting to grey at some point. I imagine the freedom of not having to worry about roots/regrowth/colour fade would be incredibly refreshing. Not to mention the cost and time involved. I am too timid to go for a v short crop though - I just don't have the necessary cheekbones to pull it off.

It is not that I think dyed hair looks bad - far from it. I just don't want to HAVE to dye my hair so I conform to expectations. DH, nearly 10 yrs older than me has dark brown hair with a decent smattering of side greys - aka "Terry Wogans". It does not make him look old - ok he doesn't look 25 but the grey itself doesn't age him. You can gauge his age from everything about him - clothes, face, body, etc. And in some way I think there is an honesty about actually appearing your age. I don't feel the need to have people thinking I am younger than I am. In a way, I am proud of being older. I am a wiser, better person than I was in my 20s. I do envy the simplicity of men's appearances though - they don't worry if their faces are too fat for short hair or if they are too grey to not use dye.

Mmack it will probably take ages to go grey. I found my first ones when I was 21 and just pulled them out. Now - 15 years later - I have lots more either side, above my ears, but they are not really visible unless I put my hair up (I have a long bob) and ones on the top of my head. It has taken a while.

I'm over 45 and have been going grey for years now. However it has taken quite along time and I can reassure anyone who has a few grey hairs that it could stay like that for ages.

I have never dyed my hair because I personally believe that putting chemicals on your hair speeds the aging process. I also had quite a trauma as a child when my mum became ill and her hair suddenly went from brown to almost white - I now realise it was because she had been dying it for years and once she was ill she couldn't.

I've seen this happen to a friend recently who I thought was a lustrous brunette but it turns out had totally white hair underneath. (She had to stop dying it because of a neck complaint that meant she couldn't have it washed at the hairdresser)

Who cares if its aging - we all grow old and to me older is wiser!

Norma, I agree with everything you said in your last post. I feel fab not hAving to go to the hairdresser for colour and worry about roots. I don't care if I look my age either.

My hair has always been long and (dyed) dark. I was getting fed up with having to do the roots every two weeks and was umming and ahhing about whether to go natural. Been dyeing it for 40 years so I knew there would be a fair bit of grey. I couldn't pluck up the courage to change.

Then 2 years ago I had to have chemo following breast cancer, and lost all my hair. When it regrew it was a beautiful silver white colour, with some underlying dark hair which almost looks navy blue. I have to say - it is stunning!! I keep it really short - think Judi Dench/Annie Lennox. It's so easy to look after, wash, towel dry, dab of wax and I'm done. It's so liberating. It's also in fab condition, soft and shiny, not at all Brillo pad-like.

I don't think it's aged me at all, if you're young at heart and keep reasonably fashionable in clothes, make up and jewellery then you will look great. I have complete strangers coming up and telling me how great my hair is. I would say to anyone contemplating letting the grey through - go for it!!

I now look at women my age (early 60s) with their long dyed hair and can see how much better they would look if they cut it off and went natural.

Do it - you won't regret it.

Not everyone can cut their hair short and ease the growing out.I have a round face and I would look awful for at least 6 months while I was growing out the short cut. I am currently sporting 3 inches of dark roots with no more than 5% grey and 5 inches of bleached hair. Not sure what I want to do but no brown dye , my hair always goes an unnatural warm shade even with ash tones. I am aiming for swishy shiny hair eventually
42 BTW

My (light mouse) hair has finally got grey enough to look good, starting at the front, which was almost blonde. Had it cut short about 3 years ago for health reasons, and helped colours merge by adding temporary streaks at home.
Today it's totally natural, and a warm-grey/blonde just longer than shoulder-length, in good, shiny condition as I use home-made shampoo these days. Lots of compliments, and look better than ever, although a pensioner, but it's mainly down to luck.
I think it's the cool, bluey-grey that looks aging, especially combined with heavy makeup. I've always looked best with light tan, and still do - think Scandinavian type - and best tips are to keep as close to natural hair colour as is flattering, and do consider trying tan makeup when the grey comes in.

mmack, I started growing my dye job out in April 2013 and had a totally grey short bob by Dec 2013. I was off on mat leave/career break when I grew mine out and I got a few comments from the Sure Start family support officer (=busybody) about how hard life is caring for twins, how easy it is to forget about yourself while you're meeting everyone else's needs etc. Well-meaning but really, it's only hair colour, it's not like I was forgetting to wash or something!

Just want to say yy to everyone saying no to dying their hair because of the anti grey hair prejudice. Resist the tyranny!

Expensive stressful and ultimately just too many chemicals too regularly, all that due, all those hair appointments...yawn.

Going grey is on its way to being no longer taboo, it's cool.

What's so terrible about looking your age?! Yy to bring proud of what you really are and no more hiding and masquerading in conformity.

I'm 'transitioning' to grey. I started finding grey in my early 20s but dyed it to maintain my dark locks.

About 3 years ago I started having highlights after a reaction to hair dye. After a discussion with my hairdresser about how to get to grey without chopping it all off. I'm now very silvery blond on top (mainly t section) with dark underneath. I wish it would just go all over then I can chop it off. I get lots of complements about my hair but it costs me a fortune!

I look in the mirror and sometimes don't recognise myself . I'm a former brunette lusting after my previously gorgeous dark hair.

I would love to wake up one day and be properly grey. I'm 32. I dress well and have good make up. I need to lose 3 stone then I can nail that pixie cut!

I started going grey at eighteen, though never noticed much as I started dying my hair at fourteen I finally stopped just over a year ago (am 39).

I am surprised how little actual grey/white is in my hair, I had it cut into a very (2 cm ish) short pixie and loved it so much I kept out for a year, I am now growing it, as I want a change, I get bored with my hair very quickly and rarely keep it in the same style for long, tbh a year is some kind of recorded for me.

Even more when it is growing I am surprised how much I don't notice the grey, it's mostly at my temples and kind of looks like highlights, the rest of my hair is ashy blonde/mousey brown.

The 'ageing' comments are just indicative of how incredibly ageist we are as a society, and how terrified of being considered older than our age. Personally I couldn't give a shiny shit, though I do love my shiny, soft unfucked with hair

Wow ! I'm a bit older, 46, but had greys coming through since late 30's ... Last summer i sprayed in a lighter and my auburn hair started going blonder - it looks quite natural and my grey is white - hubby isn't so happy as he loved the auburn - but everyone else said it suits me so much better this colour - I'm sticking with it as I can spray at home and as my hair is, and pretty much always has been, past my shoulders - having a short pixie cut would be too dramatic a change for me !

all that dye not all that due.. Referring to pouring chemicals on yer head all the time!

I'm 60ish and apart from the highlighting era in my 20's have never dyed my hair - which is short and grey and I totally love it. I never have to worry about the roots thing or that I will end up shocking people who think I'm in my 30's based on hair colour - then get to see the face, wrinkles and all. I'm afraid those of you that think dyed hair on older women looks in any way 'natural' are fooling no-one but yourselves .