How can I go grey gracefully?

[NormaCore]

So I am mid 30s with dark hair that I have been dyeing since my early 20s. I get my roots done every 6 weeks at the hairdresser but I really fancy going back to my natural colour. I have lots of white hairs now that seem to spring up within a few weeks of getting it done. But how do I ease the transition until the roots have grown out?

I feel quite excited to stop dyeing but don't know how to start.

Sorry but I disagree. I am mid 50s and I would be 70% grey naturally but have my hair dyed, low lights and tint.
It makes me feel youthful and matches my very honed size 10 body with flat abs and tight glutes.

I have always been mousey but had blonde highlights so looked blonde. Now at 50 I am grey so have a few lowlights put in which blend with the grey. Really not ready for full head of grey. But fed up of time and money spent on dye!

My family have a genetic thing causing premature grey hair (among other things). I started going grey very quickly around 21, so I coloured it.

I'm now 46 and keep my hair mid-light brown. I'm fairly white around the top of the head but the back is still dark grey. I think I want to wait until it's all white and then grow it out into a white bob.

DP is 53 and while he's quite grey, it's not as grey/white as mine. Doesn't bother him, of course.

I think we actually go grey very young in the western world. I lived in India for a while where many women into their 60s still had plenty of colour in their hair as well as grey strands. I wonder if it has to do with products we use or pure genetics. When I go grey at the moment I am a grey denier I will do so disgracefully hopefully so I am not much use on this thread. There is that grey 'thing' at the moment where you can get your hair dyed a grey colour, like a silvery blonde, I have seen women in their 20s with it done. I wonder if that might be possible.

Have you thought about keeping the grey on the sides, in a slightly witchy/goth look? So people become accustomed to seeing you with a bit of grey but it looks like you are in charge of it. Separate a small bunch on each side of your face to keep natural and dye around it.
Use a semi-permanent hair dye on the rest so when you want to stop using it won't be such a clear line from the roots.

I am 39 and have been dying my hair for over a decade, but have decided to stop and let my natural salt and pepper colour grow through. Its in a chin length bob and about 1/3 of the way grown out at the moment so looks rubbish but I'm determined to persevere!

For me its because I just hate the process - sitting in a salon for 2-3 hours with chemicals on my head, bored out of my mind. With two pre-school kids and running my own business I have so little free time I resent spending it on this! Plus the expense! I could do it at home but not keen on that blocky fake home dye look.

I moved to Sussex last year - near Brighton - and seems to be a small but growing trend down this way for women in their 30s to go natural colour. Quite excited.

Blueskyview Well done with the perseverance! I had a pixie cut a few yrs ago with the plan never to dye it again but I chickened out and dyed it when it got to chinlength. The cut itself didn't take long to grow out though if you were thinking of going down that route. Once the sides got long enough to tuck behind my ears I got a short vintage fringe done so it looked like a 1920s bob from the front. Just kept the back short until the layers grew down.

For those who have made the transition to grey , do you still feel attractive?and do men notice you anymore ? Very curious.

If more women admitted they had grey hair, it would not be associated with being old

Women have been the authors of their own problem

Ditch the dye.

Does it matter if men notice you?

I have brown hair. Not sure men have ever noticed me really.

I dont want to ditch the dye anymore than I want to stop wearing makeup or nice clothes.
I get my colour done professionally and will continue to do so .
Im afraid all the go greyers always look unkempt to me- yes there are lots of "inspirational" pics out there but I rarely see anyone who looks that good with grey hair.
I wouldn't go bleach blonde so why would I go snow white -it looks horrible and just as unflattering as one block colour ( who does that anyway)
Its about what suits me not my age

My hair is sleek and glossy.
People often ask where I get my highlights done.
Its long so I wear it up, highlighting the colour differences.

The only man I care about noticing me is grey haired as well.

BUT
I make darned sure the rest of me stays a very toned size 8

Then it sounds like you have lovely grey hair that suits you.
Not snow white fluff like mine would be if I didn't dye it.

Fair enough - go with what suits you.
Grey for me would be as bad as wearing green - I look dreadful, washed out and not my best.
Nowt to do with age.

alpaca
That is because I've made it suit me.
Even when I used to dye it the white part showed up as a different texture so I could not see the point.
So I save a huge amount of money and time and stress and have low maintenance hair.

If I "made" my hair suit me it would be as it is now- shiny glossy chestnut with highlights not grey/white.

I guess its about how much time/effort you want to put in or if your hair in its natural form whether brown ,blond or grey actually suits you.
Did you dye it yourself ? its very different to professional colour -especially the price ! ouch ! but Im worth it

alpaca
Sometimes I dyed my hair myself.
Sometimes I had it done by a Saks stylist
result was the same
Saks were the people who assisted me in deciding to get real

I stopping colouring my hair 4 years ago. It was really tough for a year going through the growing out stage. You really have to be committed and just get through it. And then there's the hassle of working out what new products to buy as the old faithful's no longer get the same result. I'd coloured my hair since I was a teenager so I had no idea what my real colour was. Furthermore, I have long hair, it goes down to below my bra strap, so the process was a very visible one. The result was to learn that it's not all grey, just mostly areas around the frame of my face, temples, etc., with enough individual strands throughout to stand out but not shout "grey!".

I've always had compliments on my hair and that's been a point of pride for me. I'm not an attractive woman so in doing this I was playing with my most outwardly valued feature! My OH thought I'd go back to the bottle immediately and one friend actually said she was saddened at my decision (!). I don't think either of them liked the result but no one's said anything negative. Instead I've had the usual amount of typical responses to my hair plus some positive comments on the grey with people commenting that it looks distinguished. I think "distinguished" isn't something one would say of an 18 year old, so I presume it is a comment that can only come with age, so perhaps it has aged me, but I liked the comment - no one ever said I looked distinguished before!

I've never coloured my hair and I've been going grey for 10+ years. I'm 41 and have a cruella de vil streak which I love. Going grey doesn't and has never bothered me. In the grand scheme of things if going grey is the the thing I need to worry about then I am doing ok

If more women admitted they had grey hair, it would not be associated with being old

LOL

Most people who are old have grey hair.

I know very very few women with grey hair who look as good as they could if their hair was their natural colour from when they were younger.
Lovely silver grey hair all one tone can be attractive but the reality is a mix of salt and pepper or light grey, dark grey and white, and grey hair is courser as well.

Grey one can protest all they like but for most women it is ageing.

I know very very few women with grey hair who look as good as they could if their hair was their natural colour from when they were younger.
But your sample is vanishingly small and distorted

the proportion of us who go grey naturally is miniscule

how many women dye their hair back to the natural tone when they were 17?

why is it OK for Men to go grey but not women?

Thought you'd pop back!

I don't understand what you are saying- it seems contradictory.

I don't know how you can judge how many women I am talking about! I could be talking hundreds- maybe I am a hairdresser- you don't know, do you?

Where did I mention the age of 17?

FWIW many of my friends who I must add are well groomed- and not mutton in any way- all have hair more or less the same colour ( but not a flat all over colour) as when in their late 20s and early 30s. They are now late 50s.

They achieve this with subtle low and highlights and a good cut.

Conversely, women I know of the same age who have done nothing with their hair colour and allowed it to go grey or white, often look 10 years older than they are.

Sorry if this annoys you!

I'm posting without rtft because I'm a lazy arse....

This time last year I had shoulder length chocolate brown hair. At least I thought I did. Looking at photos I actually had uneven orangey hair, with silicone build up, split ends and a wonky fringe. Because I'd been dyeing it and doing my own roots and fringe for 20 years.

My hairdresser cut in into a very short graduated bob. And I've not coloured it since. No high lights, no stripping, no root touch ups.

I'm now all natural. The condition is amazing. I get lots of compliments, far more than I did before. It's still in a short graduated Bob but I'm now growing it again. It's absolutely white at the sides, and about 40/60 white / dark elsewhere. It suits me, takes no maintenance. I agree with CMOT, that not colouring your hair is seen as far more radical than dyeing it at the moment.

The first 3 months growing it out were hardest. From then on I could really see the results.

Men- you not heard of Just for Men???

Most men with grey hair have it very short indeed so visually it doesn't have the same 'look' as women's hair anyway.

Oh, and I'm not saying for one moment that any one should go natural. Just that it's worked for me far better than I ever dared to hope. Sometimes I miss dark, solid, sleek hair. But then remember that even with professional help that was so hard to achieve. And wasn't what my hair looked like. If I could have back the hair I had naturally in my mid teens, I would. But that's just silly.

I am on the cusp of having to think about dyeing my hair. I am 48 and in the past year I have started to see a smattering of grey along the hairline under my fringe. I have been pulling them out but it is a bit like King Canute - I can no more stop my hair going grey than he could stop the sea.

There seem to be a few myths on this thread from my albeit limited experience. Post 40 your hair doesn't necessarily go dull and flat. Mine is very shiny and whilst i have baby fine hair, I still have a lot of it and it still has the same body it always had. Hairdressers tell me it is in excellent condition. The grey hairs I have been pulling out are exactly the same texture and shine but just a different colour.

I alos think there comes a point where dyeing hair is aging. If your face looks old and your hair doesn't, it is obvious the colour isn't natural and it doesn't match your skin tones. It is best to let the two age together. I suppose the difficulty is the transition where your hair ages ahead of your face.

I' d go the same way as MIlL. When I met her she was blonde and I was surprised to see photos where she was dark. So if I was in the position of giving up the hair dye, I would do what she did and lighten over a period of months until eventually I was blonde then make the transition from blonde to grey gradually. It could take years I should imagine. MIL has totally white hair now so she is very lucky. I suspect I won't be that fortunate as my mother, who is almost exactly the same age (2 weeks in age between them) is still about 25% her original colour. She would just look so wrong with dyed hair though because her face gives away her age. I suppose the only option would be go really funky and dye it pink or purple or something if the grey is too flat and grow old disgracefully.