What makes a person frumpy?

[Ladyfoxglove]

I'm feeling decidedly frumpy at the moment. Whilst trying on some old clothes the other day, I caught sight of myself from the back in a full length mirror and I look just like my mother did twenty years ago horrors!

The trouble is, although I'm looking at all the nice new clothes around about now I can't decide what to get. I get my hair cut and highlighted regularly (shoulder length, straight) and I'm 5' 7" and reasonably slim, instead of the effect I'm after (sophisticated, slightly edgy but natural), I'm more average 46 year old frumpy, boring woman from the Midlands. I can't pinpoint where I'm going wrong.

I look similar to Kate Winslet but I'd rather look like kristen taekman (sorry for Real Housewives reference but that's the look I like).

Any suggestions?

I don't think sheer tights are frumpy I think done right they are v sexy

with a carpet bag and knitting and a frizzy perm

yes you are right.

I can't wear anything but comfortable shoes at work as I have to run to cardiac arrests. All manner of bodily fluids can come my way, so I'll be sticking to my totally flat shoes, easily washable clothing and hair back into a ponytail. I'd rather be doing this than sitting in an office in stiletto heels and a silk shirt any day though.

Outside of work, I alternate between being v put together and groomed, to 'I can't be bothered, going out in my converse and hoodie today". I don't feel the pressure to look 100% shiny all the time, it would feel like a chore to me then and would take the joy of out fashion for me.

I like shoes with a strap because my feet are slim and I know they will stay on

Apatite1 please stick with the flat shoes. If I ever have a cardiac arrest in your hospital, I want you to be able to run

Indeed I will flo

If I get there first, I get to give all the orders. Which is awesome and I can pretend I'm george clooney on ER

Apatite I agree I vary from pure sloven to ok I think if you don't feel frumpy you are halfway there

I have a round face. I can't pull off a pixie cut.

makes jealous face at mrsdevere

I teach medical students now (old gimmer) and am forever telling them to stop wearing low cut tops (lots of bending over) and heels (lots of running).

In clinic I'm fairly smartly dressed, the wards not so much!

Oh and I do hope your DD is now much improved in health MrsD.

OP I think you're giving the midlands a bit of a bad reputation. I'm originally from the midlands and I'm very curious to know where you live . Please give us a clue...

It is amazing how hard it is to define the cause of frumpy. It can't be caring how you look versus not, as some people who don't care look great. It can't be comfort versus discomfort, as many uncomfortable things are frumpy and many comfortable outfits can be chic. Yet both those things can factor in, they just don't apply in every case. I do think that looking like you've deliberately chosen something that is obviously unattractive because it is practical or comfy might be frumpy, but practical and comfy don't have to be frumpy I don't think. You can combine it with attractive.

Some people choosing style over comfort may just be fortunate not to have experienced just how painful things can get. Burning foot pain in heels is one thing. Struggling to walk with severe knee pain for days after wearing heels, or having to use crutches after a couple of hours in heels...is another. It isn't sustainable.

OP - is it west or east ?

MrsDeVere I do as well but I loved you Miss Marple analogy

Believe me it gets harder as you get older (I'm nearly 64).Having stylish,brutal daughters helps-they have promised to pluck my chin hair when I am incapable and made me promise never to wear beige (or variants thereof)or ugly shoes .The latter is hard as I have knee problems and am confined to flats except Car to Bar .My high heels always made me feel confident and sexy .Agree a good haircut,a colour that suits (and never roots-you can buy spray on colour to tide you over)or go grey/silver/white with confidence .Less is more with makeup but I never leave the house without mascara and very subtle liner which gives my eyes definition-I have really good skin(for my age)which helps -it's genetic but also cherished .
But the key is to feel good in your skin.Bien dans sa peau the French call it !

I don't care what I look like as long as I don't look frumpy. Unfortunately I like comfy shoes

Miss Marple I am laughing here! I have a friend who dresses like her and she has no idea as has no TV

Oh god I am so so sorry MrsD. Truly, I'm an idiot.

Male docs are ridiculous. I cant get them to tuck their shirts in, ever.

Back to S&B....

I have short legs: is it possible for me to ever wear ankle boots without looking like a toadstool?

I might have a go with a short skirt and opaques then, thanks Mrs D.

If not, it's back to the knee-boots-that-cover-all-sins for me.

So many threads about frumpiness today! Everyone is obsessed.

I have had an absolutely frumptastic day in orthotic flats, leggings, a knitted smock type dress, hardly any make up and frizzy hair. Great fun.

The word frumpy has been repeated on here today so many times it is starting to sound odd.

OP If it's any consolation, my early 40s were the wilderness years for clothes.

I didn't know who I was, even though I was working part time, in fashion terms.I was coming out of the SAHM phase and felt that at 40-ish I should change my style to older ....

What a mistake! I now take ideas from my DD- aged 25- and we shop together and like the same things. I just tone down the trends to suit my age- so not skinny skinny jeans but neat slim tapered legs, more ankle boots than knee highs with jeans tucked in, less upper arm on show, and I buy quality over quantity- ie not H&M but a few plainpieces from Boden, The White Company and Uniqlo for jeans etc.

I'm lucky to have been able to stay slim though it's a constant effort, and I've more time now to shop and look after myself now the DCs are older.

I think the one mistake any woman can make is to ask 'what can I wear over 4O, 50, etc' because we are all different, have different figures, and budgets, but I keep an eye out at Jigsaw, Mint velvet, Reiss, Ted Baker, etc and avoid any of the labels aimed at women my age ( Country Casuals, Alexon etc.)