Oh wilbur, that is so sad about your friend's grandson. :( And that's a tough letter to have to write.
I have behaved badly/madly and am feeling really ill. Dd is off school and didn't behave particularly well this morning, so the day didn't start well. The night wasn't much cop either. But I have just spend several hours ranting and raving at dh. I have told him I want to sell the house and go and live by myself, I am a total failure as a parent (as all my children seem to want to do is lie on the sofa and watch crap on the tv), I need to get rid of all animals and garden as I can't cope with it and no one else is interested in any of it. And I don't have a hope in hell of getting any other work as I am an utter waste of space and an incompetent idiot. And there is no more work of the sort that I have been doing for the past 14 years, so I can't support any of them. And I should never have had children or got married. Ever. Because it's all just a big millstone round my neck as I'm too useless to do any decent work and support it all.
And dd will have heard all of it, presumably, as a lot of it involved screaming. The dog is acting traumatised.
I daresay this means that I am actually bonkers and need the poxy medication. That doesn't make me feel any better. I've always been a bit strange, but I didn't actually used to be bonkers. Not that it really makes any difference, I suppose.
I don't really know what to do with myself. I keep trying to do the right thing, but I really don't seem to be able to get anything right, no matter how hard I try. The problem is that people look at me (including my own family) and wonder why the hell I'm not out there working in a decent job. They don't realise that I look at me and wonder that too and hate myself for it. I've spent 30 years trying to work that out and I still don't know why I'm such a useless heap of jelly.
I know I shouldn't post this, but actually I really don't know what to do with myself.