Well done Herbs. I love the idea of you pounding the pavements to "How much is that doggy in the window".
CV, I would have been very ragey in your shoes.
In fact, , I was very ragey last night. Horribly so. I had a frothing meltdown and am feeling ashamed today. I had been trying to have a constructive conversation at various key points during the day with dh about the work situation, as because we currently work together any changes I make will have a fairly major knock-on effect on him. I have been trying to have this same conversation about our "business model" (ha) and provision for the future etc for about five years. He just sticks his head in the sand and refuses to actually face any issues.
Anyway, he pretty much refused to engage with me again yesterday and then in the evening suddenly said that one of his bandmates was forming another band and had asked him to play bass in it. You may think me unreasonable for exploding (and I completely admit that I went utterly over the top - there was swearing and I owe everyone an apology etc etc, bad fishwifey behaviour, baaaad parent, have now lost all moral high ground etc) and indeed I was. However, he ONLY puts effort into dealing with his hobby. Can't be bothered to remember anything unless it's to do with that and takes no responsibility for anything at all, except meeting his work deadlines. When I try to get him to talk about the important issues of work and finance, he is just evasive and, well, childish. Sadly, he got 10 years of resentment dumped on his head last night. I was all "And another effing thing..." Oh dear. 
I'm trying to point out that if I get a "proper" job, he's going to have to do all the things he currently avoids doing - or deliberately does badly so that I have to do them anyway. I told him he could sod off and live in a shed somewhere with a soldering iron and internet access.