Walking in a Crepey Wonderland!

[MrsSchadenfreude]

I couldn't see that anyone else had started a new thread, after Stropps carelessly finished the old one without starting a new one, so here you are.

[lalsy]

I live very near addle

[cremolafoam]

Sorry I won't get to meet lalsy and BD
And pirate if she's going.

Waves at lurkers. Come out come out where ever you are !

[bigTillyMint]

I am back from a very lovely day in the spa/facial/afternoon tea/two bottles of wine

Yes yes lalsy, do come (did I meet you with addle, or was that a non-MNer?!) We will probably all be wobbling onto the same bus
I probably need an updated list so I can double check numbers...

I remember Moldies, but wasn't remotely bothered about it as they seemed a very clicky, way more witty than me in-crowd! I did like the bat though. I do not have a second home either.

addle, please post the recipe as I have some red cabbage to use up and after the afternoon tea today, I fear it is all I should eat!

I am a bit that some of you seem to have non-shared-finance woes - what is DH's is mine, and what is mine is mine

[bigTillyMint]

Oh and someone witty better think of a new thread title.

[bigTillyMint]

Cremo, we will miss you

[Stropperella]

I went to the scary tatts and piercing parlour to get my ears re-pierced, 37 years after they were done very wonkily by some dodgy bloke in the back of a shoe shop. My DM insisted that I waited until I was 18 - so obviously I saved up my pocket money and sneaked down town after school when I was supposed to be at a play rehearsal. And had wonky earrings for a couple of decades afterwards. Will be sporting rather nasty titanium studs next week.

[bigTillyMint]

Stropps, that's

[addle]

btm - wow to your exceedingly glamorous saturday afternoon - here you go - slice the leaves very finely and dress them in a garlicky, mustardy vinaigrette, perhaps with a good handful of parsley to provide a dramatic and delicious contrast. Add grated carrot, and some shredded white cabbage, too, for a much fresher version of the coleslaw. And sprinkle with a few pumpkin and/or sunflower seeds, if you like. But steer clear of the mayo. i just did cabbage, carrot and parsley and it was lovely. And I remember the bat too, loved her posts.

crem - sorry won't be seeing you or rrr but am hoping 2014 will be year of lots of fun and crepey things

[motherinferior]

Oh Rudy, I am so sorry and I wish I could suggest something constructive.

WRT money: I don't want shared finances because DP has a very different attitude towards money. He's profligate (and also generous); I am prudent (and tight-fisted). We do have a joint account to cover the house/girls and he pays most of his salary into this; we have personal accounts and I have a business one (into which all my freelance earnings go, which makes tax etc much simpler).

His t'ai chi is chiefly funded by an overdraft on his personal account. So to a great extent it doesn't affect me. I on the other hand don't want to run up an overdraft on my personal account. We do have an overdraft on the joint account not least because he's generous/spendthrift towards the girls, household shopping etc (though most of his generosity comes out of his own account /overdraft).

I do resent it when I feel the girls have nice things/school trips and I don't (I realise this makes me a bad person). But what can I do? There is a finite amount going in. I pay in as much as I can, and in real terms my earnings are going down. I do resent the fact that historically he has been so bad with money that he had no money to put towards this house (hence massive mortgage) and I funded both my maternity leaves myself. But he thinks - perhaps with good reason - that I am pathologically tight with money.

[bigTillyMint]

Oh dear Rudy - how worrying.

And you would be most welcome

addle, the recipe sounds yum and virtuous!

[motherinferior]

I also feel v ashamed and guilty about earning so little.

[CointreauVersial]

Sorry to hear about DM, Ruby. Why the delay on the biopsy (or is it just the Christmas break)?

Finances are all shared here too. How does one get through maternity leave / child-raising career breaks otherwise? At times I have earned three times what DH earned; currently I'm on about a third.

[motherinferior]

Sadly, I suspect you're right; and/or that the notes are languishing in a pile/inbox.

[Auriga]

But MI, and Rudy, you contribute labour, time and ingenuity as well as money. You help to keep costs down, by planning, thinking ahead, cooking well, etc.

I have caught myself feeling envious of DD because she has lots of new clothes, nice trips abroad etc. But I wouldn't enjoy them as much as she does, I would worry too much about the cost.

Currently my big fear is that I'll end up having to pay for domiciliary care for DM, who seems hell-bent on giving all the money from her house sale away to my sister .

Sorry to hear about your DM Rudy. Hope you see some improvement soon.

[originalpiratematerial]

I would love to come to the next Crepey meet-up but sadly (as MI knows) my home situation is crappy, with autistic DS3 who will not have anybody but me in the evenings. I do occasionally manage a short trip out in the evening but it has to be late on (when DS3 is in his room, if not asleep) and local (so I can sprint home if there is a problem). I'm actually going to a friend's party next Saturday which is local so I don't feel too sorry for myself.

[cremolafoam]

Oh Rudy my heart goes out to you.
It must feel like ages you've been waiting for the results. You poor thing and poor mum. I hope they get their act in gear soon and off the golf course in Marbella

Thanks guys I'll miss you all too. I'm starting back at work finally on Monday so it would look a bit cheeky to be skipping off to London on Friday . I'm still hobbling about with this achey back too.

Re finance. In the good old days my job was my money. We could basically live on dh's money, so I booked holidays and 'fun' and 'dinner out' Now 98% goes on bills,heating oil, music tuition , food and petrol. I'm lucky if there's a tiny bit to blowsave at the end of the month. Our electricity is now 580% more expensive per unit than it was 7 years ago. ( monopoly)
And I earn no more.( public service pay has not risen since I started in 2007)
Savings are a joke at 1% or something stupid%.
I need to work a 50 hour week to make things work at a level that compares to how we lived 10 years ago.
MI I can't begin to imagine how hard freelancing is. But you are contributing enormously in every way possible as Auriga says .You too Ruby.

[Blackduck]

Only scimmed as on phone.

Ruby big {{}}. Ii know when we were waiting for SILs results everyday felt like a lifetime and they took longer than the promised 10 days and it wasn't over Christmas.

MI do not feel guilty about finances!! And you are not a bad person for wanting a break! Much as I love ds the thought of a weekend away pottering fills me with joy (not that I have done it) - of gets regular weeks away (partially work related, but it does allow him downtime out of the domestic routine)

Pirates - well if there is a decent place near you we could do that sometime?

Cremo - sorry to have missed you last time. And that you won't be here this time.

[motherinferior]

I don't feel like a bad person for wanting a break. I feel like a bad person for resenting the fact the girls get away and have nice things and I can't...

[motherinferior]

Ooh, next thread title: La Vie en Crepe?

[motherinferior]

Rudy, I spend some of my time in the day job trying to nobble consultants; am trying to think if I can help in any way.