oh god-can SOMEONE just tell me how to get my hair cut, please?

[FillyjonktheFluffy]

I am getting my hair cut tommorrow, and am losing the plot.

it is long atm. It is brown. It is kind of wavy in a bad way.

It is so thick and wiry you could...oh I don't know, do something deeply funny with it.

I have an oval face, a huge nose, and seem to develop a centre parting despite all odds.

It needs to be absolutely zero maintance. Nowt. Medium length good. No super short styles, they require extensive make up or else geography teacher fleeces IMO.

Can someone just please tell me how to cut it? Please? Someone must know about these things.

LOLOLOLOLOL

that is exactly how I imagined your hair to be

and I love that you have a big Fillyjonkian nose too.

I have no useful advice whatsoever, I just came on here to taunt you for my own amusement :)

YOu need to post a photo for us to be able to really tell you what should suit

I am rolling over and displaying my fillyjonkian belly here. Defenceless. Helpless. And what do I get? Taunts.

My nose seems to have got bigger since having kids, is that possible?

NO PHOTOS! NO!

right, if no one is going to advise me I will do it myself.

What do I think of \link{http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art39718.asp\this} I wonder?

How about \link{http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art39720.asp\this?}

You could ask for what my hairdresser described as the 3 minute hair cut - it gives everyone else in the salon a laugh (DD thought it was hilarious):

They pull all your hair forward into a pony tail at the front, so you look like a unicorn

Then chop it off say six inches from where the hair band is

Undo - a layered cut (so maybe solving your wiry/wavy thing?)

Then they fluff about for 10 minutes to make it look like it's worth the money.

ooooh...could I do that myself, thus saving me £30?

I know you said no to super-short, but I have had long hair all my life until I got it cut at the beginning of this year. It does take getting used to, but now I'd never have my hair long again. It is cropped to a couple of inches long all over, and requires just a sweep of wax in the morning. No straightening, no drying... bliss! But, it IS a big change, and it took me a while to feel comfortable. And I am a student, not a geography teacher so there

I had it short for years.

Doesn't suit me, don't know why. Also I'm allergic to sodium layrl sulphate, which rules out any styling products .

Yes filly i heard somewhere that the only parts of your body that never stop growing are your nose and ears1Just look at old peoples ears they are huge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FJ, on no account attempt a bob. My hair doesn't sound half as random as yours but I look like I am wearing a birdsnest on my head if I attempt a neat style, trust me.

(my nose is bigger, too. and bonier )

No maintenance at all is pretty impossible if you want to look half decent and have anything but poker straight hair. I'd go for a bob (they don't have to be boing.. once read a thread saying bobs are part of the 'mumsy uniform'!).. and invest in some GHDs or similar (cheaper.. mine are.. and do the job ok).

Straighten each time you wash it.

Good luck!

In that case, maybe buy some GHDs? My friend has such unruly hair that she would literally bend over the ironing board every day to get it straight, and these are the only things that would work for her. Bloody expensive, but worth every penny. Even I, with naturally straight hair, loved mine (when I had use for them, that is)

ooo sleepyjess. Great minds

was what i linked to a bob?

if so, crappy crappy crappy crap.

nononono I do not do mumsy.

my hair is quite often blue, but since dd i have not had time to dye it. but time is returning. does that help?

oh and I can make it straight by brushing it, I suppose.

Fillyjonk, Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Brushing does not constitute straightening. I, too was once under such an illusion....

my hair is sooooo thick that it cannot hold a perm. i have to use special products on it. I get through a tub of conditioner a week. Do you think ghds will help me? (I'm really asking)

And do they take long? I was ecstatic last week when I managed to sort out my eyebrows. My face no longer looks as though its being attacked by two caterpillars.

Bobs come in different shapes. sixes and lengths Fillyjonk. I would call what you linked to 'types of bobs'. They certainly don't have to be sleek and high maintenance even if you use your straighteners on them..

It's blue?!

[SJ goes back to drawing board]

Do you look like \link{http://www.wendydent.com/images/travel%20photos/me%20overseas/blue%20hair%20CU4w.jpg\this} ?? In fact is that you???!

IME, GHDs heat up almost instantly and make a really quick job of straightening.