'classics' you hate

[madmomma]

following on from the 'fashions you don't understand' thread, which 'must have' classic items of clothing are just a washout for you?

Mine is a trenchcoat - it looks shit on me.
Also those boucle chanel-type jackets - fuck I age 30 yrs putting one of those on.

Shift dresses suit roughly no one. Only Audrey Hepburn, in fact. In general, if you are not Audrey Hepburn, step away from the shift dress.

Linen is the devil's fabric, transforming all clothes into an unmade bed. Its popularity bemuses me.

Shift dresses are lovely. It's true you need to be waif like and beautiful but aren't we all?

Linen marvellous. Fabrics that are meant to crease. How cool is that?

White shirts. Oh any shirt, really. Or shirt dress.

Any kind of 'classic' or 'on trend' t-shirt. NO tee shirt looks good on me.

SO many shoes. Ballerinas, any wedge heel, ankle boots just all look silly on my big feet.

Blazers. So hard to find one that flatters big norks. Ditto trench coats or military style coats.

MadBanner - I quite fancy a polar neck. :)

White shirts (or any shirt I can't wear open over something else). Boob volcano.

Loafers

White shirts - never look well tailored just shapeless on me.

Double breasted blazers with gold buttons

High necked shift , ESP sleeveless. Look yuck on most people actually, even the ones who think they look good in them.

Breton tops, especially on anyone short and plump.

Trench coats for me - they look awful, any beige classic really. White shirts look good on me though....white t shirts too but I'm a messy bugger so struggle to keep them clean.

I agree with 'little black dresses'. Done to death. So boring.

And chanel no 5. Never got that, smells horrible.

Chanel jackets. Who looks good in them?
Pencil skirts look silly and too tight a lot of the time.
Pumps.
Leopard print.
On me, but not on others: Crisp white shirt.

I love.... Camel, taupe, beige, camel, cream, off white, hessian, and camel.

I can't ever do red, orange, yellow, purple. I've tried. Believe me.

I also wonder if there actually are any people who looks good in camel and beige...

crosspost! I'm really fair so those colours look horrible on me. Perhaps it works better on darker people?

Cannot wear men-style cotton shirts or skinny jeans or cropped trousers.

The nautical look. It pops up ever summer. I don't want to look like Captain Birdseye in drag.

Also, houndstooth. I just don't like it.

I don't understand polo necks with no sleeves either. Either it's cold and you need sleeves, or it's hot and you don't need a roll neck...

High heels with pointy toes
Ballet pumps
Ankle boots with dresses or skirts
Converse on people over 20
Clothes that are yellow, yellow green, tomato red, orange, camel and beige

Nude court shoes shudders

White shirts usually only look good on tall slim women with long bodies and 'neat' busts.

Agree that shift dresses are generally very unflattering if you have curves; the shape doesn't really accommodate them.

Animal print often looks tacky.

Polo necks are very awkward if you have much of a bust, it can turn into a vast mountain range of bosom.

Blazers look like a reception for the commodore of the boat club on all but a few women.

Double breasted coats generally only suit those who are slim, and slight of norkage.

I hate nude heels too. Like prosthetic feet

I have wide feet and have just thrown out my worn-twice ballet flats (or foot-barges).

I'm finally learning that there are shapes and colours that suit me, and then there are those that make me look completely M&S Classic Collection.

I love white shirts but they only look good if you have a long neck (which I don't)

Shift dresses are only classic if you have a classic figure.

Boucle jackets are only classic looking on a classy older lady.

Black trousers I like.
Wrap dresses can be flattering if worn well and cut right.
I love wrap tops.
Love a well cut black court shoe too!