So I've realised that I don't know what "frumpy" looks like...

[Blackden]

and therefore there's a very good chance that I am extremely frumpy.
I read the Boden thread with interest.

Can you please describe frumpy? Does it mean baggy and shapeless clothes? At my age I can't be wearing those 'BodyCon' type dresses (not got the figure for them either )
Or can you link me to some frumpy stuff because I just can't visualise it.

And, what's a 'wrong side of 45' woman to do? How can I avoid looking like mutton but not look frumpy?

"Cos frumpyshock The cut on their clothes is equalled no where else. I have yet to see any creative sharp cutting like that on the high street.

Some of it may be a bit Geek chic, but understated and clever veryclever. Having spent 5 years as a pattern cutter I havn't seen anything else like that anywhere. Too different to be frumpy surely"

Nope. sorry, I don't like any of the clothes that have been linked to. I don't like the colours or the style, or the fact that they look pretty shapeless. They might be brilliantly cut, but I'm not a pattern cutter and wouldn't recognise a good cut from a bad one. And, the clothes are beyond my price range. Sorry, but it just isn't my taste at all.

See, now I get a lot of my basic 3/4 sleeve tops from Cos, they are fantastic.

Fair enough! I can't stand the polyester man made tat in Zara. Each to their own

Havejust returned from school run, and have had a renewed insight into frumpy. it seems to be: wearing stuff from circa 2000, especially 3/4baggy cropped trousers with toggle thingy at hem.

I don't like Zara either.

Can I just say - my definition of frumpy is Saffy from AbFab. End of.

Hmmm that does sound like a good idea. :) I think the trouble with me is I don't see what other people see, but I'd be very happy to join in and hold bags whilst people tried stuff on. That would be a really good way to see how others manage to see/dress themselves, if that makes sense.

Midnight that sounds like a really good plan. I might see if I can sneak out tomorrow and nab a window seat in a coffee shop and make notes. I hate shopping but I can do coffee and cake

frumpet you sound very wise. No one has called me frumpy but that's how I feel and it's not something I dwell on really as my DC keep me busy but whenever I have to get dressed in the morning or have to leave the house I'm very aware of it. It's like I'm embarrassed of me. And I'd really just like to get over that. if that makes sense.

marriedinwhite what you wear sounds lovely to me. The fact that you have different outfits for everyday is great. I am hoping that I'd be able to be like that one day.

vezzie I'm pretty sure that have the correct size bra. My boobs are usually set free in the evenings and thats when they hide my waist. They used to be full and managed to hold their own. Now they like the whole 'swing low' position. In the evening, for just vegging on the sofa, I prefer no bra but am a bit conscious of the fact that I have droopage going on

Amber - WOW!!! well done on losing all those dress sizes. That sounds really impressive. I forgot to add my sizes. I'm a 14/16 on top and about the same on my bottom half. I do need to lose some weight but I'm struggling to get moving on that one.

Thanks again for your detailed reply. I would love a capsule wardrobe so I think you've hit the nail on the head with your list. If you do have time to link to some things that would be brilliant. I'm 5'6" so not overly tall but find alot of standard length trouser a bit short but the longer length ones too long. I can't wear high boots as I can't do the zip up due to my big calves.

My measurements are roughly as follows, and I sometimes feel a bit like a cute cuddly toddler who still has the rolls of fat everywhere, although obviously it's not cute on a 43 year old. These were logged on myfitnesspal on the 6th July.

Waist 33.0 on 06/07/12
Hips 42.5 on 06/07/12
bust 39.5 on 06/07/12
Belly button 38.0 on 06/07/12
c-section pouch :( 40.75 on 06/07/12
calf left 15.75 on 06/07/12
calf right 15.75 on 06/07/12
knee left 17.75 on 06/07/12
knee right 17.75 on 06/07/12
thigh left 26.5 on 06/07/12
thigh right 17.0 on 06/07/12

Thanks again everyone for your help and Blackden I'm sorry to have made your thread alot about me. I can start another if you'd prefer to get the topic back on track. I think frumpiness is more a state of mind for me and how I see myself. I hope to get to the point where I can just not give a toss about what I'm wearing and just being happy with me for how I am, including my appearance and my character, warts and all.

xxxxx

Had a look at White Stuff sale today and would say lots of their stuff is pretty frumpy, though not all.

I want to like cos but I feel they are best suited to someone with no boobs and that is not me.

fridgepants - I'm older than you and DH says every single thing I've had from Great Plains adds a decade to me. He is right (not usually that perceptive!). The quality isn't as great as you'd think for the price either.

FunnyLittleFrog what sort of shape are you if you don't mind me asking?
Personally I love tops from great plains - the drapyness is flattering to me as a sort of straight up straight down, small boobed, saggy tummy kind of figure.

fridgepants I sound like you- tall hourglass and busty, although my hips are slightly wider than my top half. Too short dresses and empire lines in the wrong place are total bugbears of mine. I find I wear more jersey tops when I would like to wear woven ones, because at least they stretch with me! If you find that elusive shop that cuts for women our shape, but 30 years old or less, let me know

To me frumpy is hideous shoes & flowery loose fitting clothes on a plump+ body with its tits down below the elbows (a good bra can fix that).

Otherwise I think you guys are awfully narrow-minded.

Nigella you have it spot on. Saffy from ab fab. Totally frumpy

The frumpiest trend I see every day and hate hate hate is that cardigan shawl wrap thing women are wearing which trails down on either side. Detest this look. Frumpy.

Just watched the Mayim Bialik link on you tube. Loved her in Blossom and loved the transformation. She's in the Saffy from Ab Fab brigade, or at least she was before her makeover.

Nigella - I am hefty of bosom and saggy of belly with stick legs so I can quite easily look matronly. Great Plains probably work much better on small boobs - the models do look great.

Maybe my aversion to Next is because their clothes seem to frump me up terribly - might look fine on flatter chests.

DD is flat of chest, with quite a large belly. She looks great in next clothes. She is also 15mo .

Not sure if they look better on the flat chested either. I'm A cup and everything from next is far too big and baggy on me.

I think looking frumpy is an individual thing to be honest, I don't think there are many items you can write off as always being frumpy.
To me frumpy is a lack of care or awareness, poorly fitting and a 'this will do' attitude. So colours that don't look right together, items that don't sit well, things that don't fit. E.g too short jeans with a pale pink top, ankle boots, black zip up fleece and sensible handbag. All of these items (except jeans that don't fit) would look fine in a different context but not together.
I feel frumpy in a wrap dress, even though they suit me (big boobs, small waist) as I think they age me and I don't feel like me. I really do think it's about having a strong sense of your personal style which prevents you from looking frumpy, I din't think many mum-boot loving, fleece-aficionados love those items, they will 'just do.'

I think the Birkenstocks linked to up thread look great. I really think someone would look far better wearing them,and a longer length skirt than my image of frumpiness,which is - a black pencil skirt pulling in on all the lumps and bumps,a viscose blouse and heels that can't be walked in. Why oh why do women wear heels and walk with their bums sticking out,shoulders thrust forward and clippity clopping along,if they can't do it?

As for fleeces.No better item for sitting on/playing with the kids in the park and bunging in the wash.Doesn't crumple and dries quick. So many different styles of fleece that I don't think fleeces can get an overall frump rating.

With so many of these things it's a case of how and when you wear them.

ssd you deserve better friends.

Though I think bootleg jeans, especially very dark denim ones, can look great and aren't frumpy at all, it was because of threads like this that I bought my first ever skinny jeans. I'd stayed away from them for years because I have legs like prize hams. But the S&B queens were right. I do look very slightly slimmer in skinny jeans. The bootcuts make me look like a cart horse.

Everyone is calling them bootleg nw instead of bootcut, I love that!

At 52 I am too old for jeans,skinny or otherwise, and I think converse look silly on middle aged women too - not least because I had black and white ones as a tween and they were ugly then.

Totally disagree- older than you and wear skinny jeans- not painted on type but more straight leg, tapered at ankle, Uniqlo.

Also wear dark coloured Converse. Doesn't everyone?

I also have a friend who is 74 and she looks super in dark wash jeans, a white shirt and a navy short cardi last time I saw her.

It's when you start thinking you are too old for jeans that the rot sets in:)

Conversely, I see 20 yr olds in tight jeans with huge bums, thighs and muffin tops - ghastly.

"Also wear dark coloured Converse. Doesn't everyone?"

No. I have never owned a pair. They are just expensive plimsolls.