Started looking old overnight - has this happened to anyone else?

[GeriatricBabyMama]

I'm 35 and until I had my DS (18 months) I always used to get told I looked years younger than my real age. When I met DH, who's 5 years younger than me, he thought I was in my early 20s not early 30s and if anyone asked me how old I was, they were always shocked when I told them.

Anyway, I know it shouldn't matter but since having DS I've started ageing mega fast. I've now got wrinkly knees, which I didn't think happened to people until they were in their 60s! Saggy elbows too. However, it's what's happening to my face that's come as the biggest shock. All of a sudden, and it really does feel like it's happened overnight, I've started looking a good 7 or 8 years older than I am. My upper lip is sort of caving in and I'm getting very noticeable smokers lines (haven't smoked for many years). And no matter how much water I drink, how much sunscreen I put on, how much fruit and veg I eat or how rich the cream I put on my face is, my skin looks dull and dehydrated and old. :(

I've swapped foundation for tinted moisturiser and have binned all my shimmery eyeshadows in favour of more subtle, matte ones but my face still just looks old. I know ageing is an inevitable part of life and there's nothing wrong with it but I'm still finding this hard to deal with as it's happened so suddenly!

I'm finding it really hard to accept the 'new' me. Part of it is maybe that I've never been naturally pretty (small eyes, pale lips and horrible hyperpigmented uneven skintone) but until recently, makeup absolutely transformed my face. It was all smoke and mirrors but I managed to create the illusion of a beautiful pretty face. Now, the makeup no longer works its magic. It makes me look marginally less hideous but that's all.

Like I said, I know that ageing is normal and that I need to get over it but this stage (the realisation that my looks, such as they were, have vanished) has come as a shock and although I've been trying to accept it and even to embrace it, I'm really struggling :(

Has anyone else had this, where you seem to have physically aged very quickly all of a sudden? And how long did it take for you to accept that this really was what you now looked like?

By the way, I should say that when I say I look hideous I'm referring to my features, complexion etc not to 40+ women in general.

Can I ask which Laura Mercier primer you have? There seems to be lots to choose from! Anyone tried the oil free one, or the radiance?

Ah - y'know what? That good primer i've got is Laura Geller, not Laura Mercier! Wrong Laura Anyway it's this one:

www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_154538000199_-1

dragon like you i tried TE years ago to see what the fuss was about and was seriously unimpressed. I'm thinking i might just revisit it now ....

Laiste - at the moment I'm using maybelline concejaer with a sponge tip, like a dabber. It works well but I've found I need to put a light layer on before powder and then a light dab 10 mins after finishing makeup as if I try and do all the coverage in one go at foundation stage, it cakes. Apart from that it works pretty well.

Also I've tried Bobbi Brown undereye corrector, it's an orange toned paste/cream in a pot applied with a brush. It's good but you need to then put a normal coloured concealer over the top and a dab too much of either, it will settle in creases. I saw a tutorial where the lady put it on then used the foundation sponge to blend and that worked ok but it's very fiddly for everyday, all the blending and brushing and dabbing. So the maybelline is at least quick.

I also thought I'd go back to TE at some point but it's apparently a highlighter not an undereye concealer?! But worth another go I suppose (I'll try anything)

Someone recommended getting tear troughs filled but I'm worried about bruising and/or overdoing it. Also pain and looking like I've "has something done". Still keeping it in reserve though!

Has anyone tried these?

Frownies Forehead & Between Eyes 144 Facial Patches- Natural Wrinkle Reducer https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00027DMSI/ref=cmswwrcppapi_sL83zbQNX4FE2

Have you gained weight by any chance? If so lose it properly at the gym on something like 1800 or 1900 cals a day. That should help tone you up. Drink water. Use sunscreen. Use antiagine cream and sleep properly - sleeping boosts collagen production.

Primers are all mainly silicon. May go to B&Q to get me some

This so resonates with me - I have to do sooo much to look 25% as good as I used to - it's exhausting! The balance between enough make up definition and drag queen is tricky and my beauty costs have gone up dramatically now in mid 40s. I've decided to divert "treat" money each month predominantly into beauty - I tend to buy very cheap clothes - Boohoo, Asos etc as I feel that my face matters more.
In order to feel reasonably looking my age, as opposed to 5 years older, I have to exercise daily, drink 2L water, eat mainly vegan, sleep 8 hours (rare), no sugar or alcohol. Then I need to use my Dermawand for 10 mins daily, use my red LED light machine 3 x week and have radio frequency skin tightening facials every 6 weeks - see exhausting?!
I don't have manicures, waxing etc so justify facials that way. Plus I dye my own roots every 3 weeks at home so only visit hairdresser twice year for balayage and a trim.
If you saw me, you wouldn't think I was anything special so I dread to think what I would look like without all this effort!
Where I struggle is finding the time for my beauty routine at night - feel like my husband begrudges me abandoning him on the sofa at 9pm so I can do my facial massage, fake tan - he doesn't think any of it is necessary but he's 4 years younger than me and looks 35 tops - my biggest fear is one day, I could be mistaken for his mother!

I know this may sound silly but you gotta change the brightness setting on your phone . If it is low, every selfie will result is a saggy looking face. Our faces aren’t perfect, and proper lighting makes a huge difference, including your bathroom lights. Self esteem is what you need to put a sparkle back in these eyes and breath some confidence in you. Another piece of advise, don’t ask a you man how you look - believe in yourself and simply look stunning if you feel like it. The rest will fall in place for you. Aging isn’t fun, but it is even less fun if you keep thinking about your skin or an extra wrinkle here and there. Have a few drinks and spoil yourself from time to time… sleep in and let your house collect some dust while you treat yourself to a well-deserved weekend. I hope I’ve cheered you up a bit!

Zombie thread, OP will be 44/ 45 now, hope she's happy in her own skin.

This startes happening to me during lockdown. I also started an immune suppressant which is drying.

I would say that some of it recovers as your body adjusts. Other things I swear by

• an intensive night cream. Body Shop Oils of Life is nice. Funny I used to use Simple Rich in Winter, agree it's good.
• a factor 50 subcream- Roche Posay is not greasy
• sleep sleep sleep. If I have 3-4 nights of 9 hours sleep or more I look better
• exercise, I have been enjoying swimming

I'm going to try a massage, I had an amazing Neils Yard facial a while ago.

I also bought the Facial Spa wand (forget the name). It is a brush that exfoliates your skin. I use it daily and I think it helps with brightening and lifting dead skin cells/massage.

Zombie thread FFS.

Hey I wonder if the original ladies who posted are still around. Some will be in their 50s now. Would love to hear how they are doing (and OP). I’m 44 and feel like my skin is crumbling. I was ID’d for alcohol before I had my first child at age 37! Some good tips on this thread, I’m going to read though carefully!

I know this is a zombie thread, but I would advise people who feel like this to start using retinols (ideally tretinoin) and actives in their skincare (vitamin c serum, glycolic acid etc).

Tretinoin will help improve signs of ageing. It's not a miracle cream, it won't make you look 25 if you're 50, but it will help improve the appearance of your skin (brighter, clearer skin tone, fine lines and wrinkles etc.) if used consistently over time. But it is a long term thing, I really started to see a difference after about a year of use.
It increases collagen production (which slows as we age), and increases cellular turnover (which also slows as we age). Unfortunately, most people have to go through a horrible 'purging' period for the first few weeks/ months of use, but if you can come out the other side it is definitely worth it.

Other mentionables are:

Vitamin C serum brightens your skin, and is an antioxidant so helps prevent environmental damage.

AHA's or BHAs are chemical exfoliants which help to slough off dead skin cells and keep your skin looking clearer.

Honestly, researching and investing in good skincare products (doesn't have to be expensive brand names, but rather active ingredients that do something) is far better than buying a load of make up.

I'm 38 and my skin looks better than it did a few years ago.

Also, a good SFP everyday - very important!!

I was thinking the same. The 35 year old OP, noticing first signs of ageing, will now be 45.