Started looking old overnight - has this happened to anyone else?

[GeriatricBabyMama]

I'm 35 and until I had my DS (18 months) I always used to get told I looked years younger than my real age. When I met DH, who's 5 years younger than me, he thought I was in my early 20s not early 30s and if anyone asked me how old I was, they were always shocked when I told them.

Anyway, I know it shouldn't matter but since having DS I've started ageing mega fast. I've now got wrinkly knees, which I didn't think happened to people until they were in their 60s! Saggy elbows too. However, it's what's happening to my face that's come as the biggest shock. All of a sudden, and it really does feel like it's happened overnight, I've started looking a good 7 or 8 years older than I am. My upper lip is sort of caving in and I'm getting very noticeable smokers lines (haven't smoked for many years). And no matter how much water I drink, how much sunscreen I put on, how much fruit and veg I eat or how rich the cream I put on my face is, my skin looks dull and dehydrated and old. :(

I've swapped foundation for tinted moisturiser and have binned all my shimmery eyeshadows in favour of more subtle, matte ones but my face still just looks old. I know ageing is an inevitable part of life and there's nothing wrong with it but I'm still finding this hard to deal with as it's happened so suddenly!

I'm finding it really hard to accept the 'new' me. Part of it is maybe that I've never been naturally pretty (small eyes, pale lips and horrible hyperpigmented uneven skintone) but until recently, makeup absolutely transformed my face. It was all smoke and mirrors but I managed to create the illusion of a beautiful pretty face. Now, the makeup no longer works its magic. It makes me look marginally less hideous but that's all.

Like I said, I know that ageing is normal and that I need to get over it but this stage (the realisation that my looks, such as they were, have vanished) has come as a shock and although I've been trying to accept it and even to embrace it, I'm really struggling :(

Has anyone else had this, where you seem to have physically aged very quickly all of a sudden? And how long did it take for you to accept that this really was what you now looked like?

By the way, I should say that when I say I look hideous I'm referring to my features, complexion etc not to 40+ women in general.

I have just turned 35 and have 18 month DD I also feel like this.

However, since having DD my weight yo-yo’s much more. I look old when I am at the heavier end. When I am fitter and eating well I look much more like my old self.

At the heavier end at present. Working on it though!

so sorry OP I don't have time to rtft but wanted to add my piece, sorry if I'm repeating advice others have offered.

This happened to me a year ago (am 40)

I did two things and two things only:

1. switched to a balm cleanser (I use a v pricey one, Emma Hardie, but by God it works and it lasts ages)

2. massively reduced sugar (not hard for me as prior to that, almost my entire diet was sugar so reducing it just basically meant actually eating actual food as opposed to biscuits)

Took about a month but I looked better by miles. Not quite youthful dewy again but that sudden OH GOD I LOOK 10 YEARS OLDER went away and now I look the way I 'should' again.

Cutting down the sugar made me lose half a stone btw which in my case helped as it helped me to dress better for my shape and make a bit more effort with clothes/makeup as prior to that I felt saggy and had given up.

But balm cleanser and less (or if poss no) sugar were the way forward.

Oh and I love Becca glow makeup in pump dispenser, really helps, but had been using that before then anyway so that wasn't a 'cure' - it just helps.

Good luck, honestly I'm sure you look lovely, and completely fine.

Oh wow didn't rea;ise this was a zombie thread!!!

Oh well OP hope you're OK if you're reading this and bet you look fab now anyway :)

I didn’t notice either !

Retinol is your friend. Try the ordinary.

Great minds - me neither.

I thought the zombie references were just how people thought they looked!

OK, zombie, but I'm reading with interest.

In addition to other recommendations, I'd suggest checking your blood pressure regularly, and at different times of day and different postures, in case there's any chance it could be on the low side, or fluctuating excessively.

Low blood pressure can make a huge difference to the hydration of your face.

And of course, if it's low enough to merit medical treatment, the chances are it's affecting you in other ways too, so it's worth looking for that reason, too.

*looking at

Chandon, I think Benefit have stopped doing 'you rebel' unfortunately

Doh!, well they've discontinued 'you rebel' since the thread started...

Thanks Suki - got the iced lotus, it's great. also looked at baby doll ysl blusher which is the same sort of pale blue-pink without the shimmer. But the lotus highlighting effect is very flattering and "lifting". Will try the other one you mentioned. I tend to wear powder blushers because I use loose powder and can't put cream on top of that. I've tried doing it over foundation but before powder, and it's ok but obviously the powder dims the colour. I love wearing powder to set makeup, maybe I should try a shimmer/brightening loose powder too - Chanel had a pressed one a while ago but haven't seen a loose powder version.

Oh and @suki I would never have picked up the iced lotus myself as it looks Browny-pink in the pan, but obviously the applied colour is very different!

It’s so sad that so many in this thread are so down on themselves !

I’m 37 and I don’t look 21 or even 31 but you know what I am happy with how I look !! I keep slim ish with Pilates and eating sensibly most days (then eat what the fuck I want at weekends) . I rarely wear make up. I have bright scarlet cropped hair that probably I’m “too old” for

Ok I have had a little bit of Botox once (worked for me but wasn’t keen on the frozen feel, it was odd)

But What is this obsession with youth and why is it only us women?!? I doubt there’s many (if any) threads on men’s forums lamenting their loss of youth / looks 🤣

Zombie thread, but me too!
This happened to me from 30 onwards, and I'm genuinely a bit worried about what I may look like at 35 onwards if this rapid rate of decline carries on.

I have upped my water intake and invested in some good skincare. Maybe cutting sugar is the next step - let's face it, it's not going to hurt!

I'll keep the zombie alive and recommend Estee Lauder Double Wear foundation.

I've been looking a bit shite lately in my barely there l'oreal mousse one and decided to splurge £36 on DW. Love it.

I think the hardest part of aging for me is the fact that even after all your best efforts at the start of the day i still only achieve passable. In the past i'd look ok with minimum effort and lots of effort gave great results. Youth just is lovely. Nowadays i have to run as fast as i can just to bloody stand still if feels. If that makes any sense!?

Yeah laiste that makes perfect sense. It's very alice in wonderland!

I think I probably look quite bad at the moment with neglect so it would take a few days, lots of organic tea and a few face masks to look normal (ahem!! How I think I should look) again.

I still remember that stage where if you look tired doing a face mask then you're back to 'perfect' graduating to doing a face mask and it only blots out a few visible signs of lines etc

I remember the days when I could do a 7 on 7 off night shift for three months (before returning to daylight 😊) and by the end of it, with my face on the next day, I’d look pretty ok. Now, I can get 10 hrs in bed and STILL look shite. That’s why I’ve given up on the full face as it really does look like I’ve been dug up and I’ve had “life” and some attempt at blood circulation painted on me.

On a good day, when I’ve walked the dog and got some wind through my hair, I look fine in moisturiser, blush, mascara and lippy. Others days, it’s full-on Nosferatu.

And yes...Youth really is wasted on the young as we were all young and glowy once!

Laiste that’s it for me as well. I cannot seem to make myself look good and when I do, I am fully in drag queen territory.

I’m told the key to looking good in your 40s is primer. I had a day of important client meetings today and normally my greasy face of slap goes south by lunchtime. Laura Mercier primer everywhere first and still looking okay actually!!

Really laughed at Nosferatu

I think it was about 5 or 6 years ago that it became apparent that doing a full face of make up - really taking time over it - makes me look bloody awful. It was almost overnight! Even after ditching any even slightly pearly eye colours, going much easier on the black eyeliner and totally avoiding any powder on my face - i still risked going into painted doll territory very quickly. It was really odd. And unsettling.

I have found that using a make up base after the moisturiser and before any foundation helps. It never used to make any difference on my younger skin, so i would never bother in the past, but now it does do something. I'm not sure what exactly, but suddenly it does help. The balance has to be just right these days. Not spending too long on my make up gives a less ''she's tried so hard, bless her'' look

X posted with you london - yes, LM is the one i have. Got it as a freebie.

Same here! I recently cut my hair short, however, and have been getting LOADS of comments about how much younger I look . This is testament to how much of a wizened hag I was before I think once your skins starts sagging a little, longer hair kind of accentuates it.

Ooh Laura Mercury primer sounds good, I've tried Smashbox and benefit's pore professional but neither suited me even though they are cult products. I use revlon's photo ready now, and it's okaaaay for everyday but I don't think it's particularly hard working.

Agree that I never needed a primer in the isn't. Made no difference, now it does!! Ditto under eye concealer. When touche eclat was a big deal in the late 90s I could not see where I was meant to put it. I didn't have any undereye shadows to conceal. Now I spend a lot of time doing just that!

*in the past