Started looking old overnight - has this happened to anyone else?

[GeriatricBabyMama]

I'm 35 and until I had my DS (18 months) I always used to get told I looked years younger than my real age. When I met DH, who's 5 years younger than me, he thought I was in my early 20s not early 30s and if anyone asked me how old I was, they were always shocked when I told them.

Anyway, I know it shouldn't matter but since having DS I've started ageing mega fast. I've now got wrinkly knees, which I didn't think happened to people until they were in their 60s! Saggy elbows too. However, it's what's happening to my face that's come as the biggest shock. All of a sudden, and it really does feel like it's happened overnight, I've started looking a good 7 or 8 years older than I am. My upper lip is sort of caving in and I'm getting very noticeable smokers lines (haven't smoked for many years). And no matter how much water I drink, how much sunscreen I put on, how much fruit and veg I eat or how rich the cream I put on my face is, my skin looks dull and dehydrated and old. :(

I've swapped foundation for tinted moisturiser and have binned all my shimmery eyeshadows in favour of more subtle, matte ones but my face still just looks old. I know ageing is an inevitable part of life and there's nothing wrong with it but I'm still finding this hard to deal with as it's happened so suddenly!

I'm finding it really hard to accept the 'new' me. Part of it is maybe that I've never been naturally pretty (small eyes, pale lips and horrible hyperpigmented uneven skintone) but until recently, makeup absolutely transformed my face. It was all smoke and mirrors but I managed to create the illusion of a beautiful pretty face. Now, the makeup no longer works its magic. It makes me look marginally less hideous but that's all.

Like I said, I know that ageing is normal and that I need to get over it but this stage (the realisation that my looks, such as they were, have vanished) has come as a shock and although I've been trying to accept it and even to embrace it, I'm really struggling :(

Has anyone else had this, where you seem to have physically aged very quickly all of a sudden? And how long did it take for you to accept that this really was what you now looked like?

By the way, I should say that when I say I look hideous I'm referring to my features, complexion etc not to 40+ women in general.

..and how did the b's appear overnight? (bunions, belly and bulging thighs)

Don't worry! Eventually (from my experience) your eyesight will go and suddenly everything has a lovely fuzzy haze around it. My face looks great

As a very much older woman who went through all this years ago I can tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel - being an older young woman sucks, being a young older woman is much nicer, so you will feel better as the years pass, honestly!

Oh yes. I now look like a very droopy version of both by mother and my father. Very unnerving. But in my deluded head this didn't happen until I was 50. I feel other people might think differently

I suddenly developed a buddha belly and panda eyes - very depressing. Trying to detox and loose some weight; trying to be Higgle's 'yoing older woman' ;o)

i totally felt like this about 8 months ago - had 2nd sleepless baby and was about to turn 40. i'd always looked young and suddenly felt i was starting to look my age.

now 8 months on - i've done the Hoc colour and style days and chucked on the 30% GA peels (i'm the OP of 'that' thread and you need the 30% not some weakly night cream stuff) and i'm feeling a good 5 years younger again. definitely at least as good as i did pre-DCs. even tho i've not had a full nights sleep for bloody years.

i know it'll catch up with me again one day but hopefully i've bought myself a bit longer.

so don't resign yourself to feeling crap - at 35 you're just a baby and it is possible for you to feel great again.

Hi, just want to say thanks to everyone who's sympathised or given advice. Been poorly for a couple of days or would have posted sooner, sorry to have seemed ungrateful!

higgle I'm looking forward to that stage very much. You're right, this 'end of youth' stage is a horrid one. I'm trying to come to terms with it but failing!

SeasonOfTheWitch ooh I hadn't thought of doing actual peels, will have a look for your thread now. That sounds like an impressive turnaround!

im 35 and i feel like ive really aged in the last couple of years. Its depressing

Another one here, who when I catch myself unawares, I see my Dad's ghoulish face staring back at me.

I'm 38.

Has anyone had any experience of botox or fillers or is that just a hideous idea? I never thought I would but this is how bad I've started feeling. When I wake up in the morning I have a huge crease down the side of my face from where I've been sleeping. It looks like a massive scar and stays there until mid morning.

DrunkenDaisy, I had some Botox done when I was turning 30 and was being a silly little cow devastated about being that old

It sorted out the horizontal 'Gordon Ramsey' lines on my forehead that I was so worried about, beautifully and looked very natural. Unfortunately, also it had the effect of making me use different muscles to frown and I started getting vertical frown lines just above my eyebrows instead - not the '11s' but about an inch in from my nose, above my eyes IYSWIM. They look bloody awful and are much worse than the original horizontal lines. I wouldn't get more botox to treat them for fear of the same thing happening again with another area :(

Also, I had botox on my crow's feet and although it worked on them and looked natural, it had the effect of making the lines under my eyes stand out much more (they were barely noticeable before). It was quite a strange look and this was on a relatively young face. If you've got noticeable wrinkling under your eyes, I'd steer well clear of botox on your crow's feet for this reason. Sorry to be the voice of doom!

I've never had fillers but am a bit dubious about them, having seen a few celebrity faces with that painted boiled egg look (Jessie Wallace or Lulu anyone?). Then again, maybe they look perfectly natural if you just have a tiny bit and stick at that.

Oh that's interesting about the botox. I think I'll steer clear of it. Have to say there's a woman at work who has had her lips done. Looks AWFUL - serious duck's bill look, the poor woman. So no, in future I shall step away from the injections.

I'm spending a fortune on beauty products that I never used to. Nothing really works, though, so depressing.

It's shit, isn't it? I know just how you feel.

Ah, this thread speaks to me so much.....my DS is 7 months and has never slept through (wakes at least three times a night) and I've recently noticed that I've gone from looking ten years younger than my age (39) to looking bang on it or a little older - it's such a shock isn't it!!

People would always exclaim at my age, thought I was in my twenties etc but now.....not so much and I don't know what to do about it. Definitely not Botox or fillers, they can make some faces look so bizarre and weirdly older still, I think.

With the aspirin facial, do you just wash off with water, does it not require any neutralising?

Am considering cutting my hair shorter and dyeing it a more vivid colour.

Also, holding up DS next to my face kind of reinforces my new agedness! Aargh! Never mind, he's worth it

Also, holding up DS next to my face kind of reinforces my new agedness! Aargh! Never mind, he's worth it

Yeah same here. It's actually crossed my mind that people may think I'm DS's grandmother when he's older and in school and that he might get teased about it Still wouldn't swap him for anything, even a magic wand that would make me look 20 again.

Oh, I think you just wash the aspirin off. At least that's how I've always done it :)

...I am 35. Feel like going on 10 years younger. I've been ill for 16 months and have aged at least 5 if not 10 years with the stress.

Oh, I'm so glad to have come across this thread - OP, I could have written your post. I've always looked younger but I just feel that since my second baby was born 6 months ago, I've started looking my age - partly down to not having time to spend on my looks, but it's not just that, I'm sure of it. I'm quite alarmed as a work colleague last year told me that she reached 37 and everything went downhill...I'm only 36!!!

I am off to buy some aspirin...

Thanks babymama (refuse to call you geriatric!) Will definitely try the aspirin - see elsewhere online that mixing it with honey is also good...

And yes hopefully we won't be mistaken for lively grandmas later on My DH is nine years younger than me too....oh lord!

I'm 37 and I too always looked younger than my age, until i had my DS1 that is. 5 years of sleep deprivation (with about a three month 'rest' in the middle of my 2nd pregnancy when DS1 started sleeping and I could sleep comfortably). DS2 is just starting to sleep through now. I'm hoping that means I'll suddenly start looking all perky and young again - although I doubt it.

I understand the wrinkly knees - I was mortified when I noticed those!

I dont seem to have lines in the normal places on my face. I wonder if this is my mixed genes (thai mother) My eyelids are crepey, but I have no crows feet or undereye bags. The inner corners of my eyelids are saggy (?!) and I actualy felt those go, which was bizarre. I have a pronounced wrinkle across the bridge of my nose, and some ON my nose. So I must smile with my nose!! Oh and very fine, but quite noticable wrinkles on my forehead now.
My hands have suffered too. I do a hell of a lot more washing up these days, and I usually forget the rubber gloves!

And Ben10 sorry to read about your illness. Sounds like you deserve some serious pampering at the very least.

I seemed to age a bit overnight, was feeling smug that I had turned 40 and had virtually no lines...then i was putting my eyeshadow on and noticed the skin stayed where I had pushed it sideways with the applicator...quelle horreur I was laughing on other side of face then :)

Looking at your Mum is a good indicator of how you will age.

Me too. People used to think I was 10 years younger than I was. Now I'm 41 and people are surprised at how old I look for my age. DS is the worst. He constantly tells me I look really old cos of my wrinkles and horrible papery skin (cos of eczema). He doesn't really understand why it's not nice to say that, he just says he's telling the truth.

Try having a microdermabrasion - honestly it's great!

One of the reasons skin on your face looks duller as you get older is that the dead skin cells on your face are difficult to get off, even with a home care exfoliator.

A microdermabrasion will make your skin look instantly brighter and it gets your circulation going. I have glycolic peels but I would recommend starting with a microderm. It's a rare 'instant result' that is worth its weight in gold.

I'm a bit worried that those things will make my face all red and raw.

My DH is 6 years younger than me. Dreading turning 40. I need serious action.