Started looking old overnight - has this happened to anyone else?

[GeriatricBabyMama]

I'm 35 and until I had my DS (18 months) I always used to get told I looked years younger than my real age. When I met DH, who's 5 years younger than me, he thought I was in my early 20s not early 30s and if anyone asked me how old I was, they were always shocked when I told them.

Anyway, I know it shouldn't matter but since having DS I've started ageing mega fast. I've now got wrinkly knees, which I didn't think happened to people until they were in their 60s! Saggy elbows too. However, it's what's happening to my face that's come as the biggest shock. All of a sudden, and it really does feel like it's happened overnight, I've started looking a good 7 or 8 years older than I am. My upper lip is sort of caving in and I'm getting very noticeable smokers lines (haven't smoked for many years). And no matter how much water I drink, how much sunscreen I put on, how much fruit and veg I eat or how rich the cream I put on my face is, my skin looks dull and dehydrated and old. :(

I've swapped foundation for tinted moisturiser and have binned all my shimmery eyeshadows in favour of more subtle, matte ones but my face still just looks old. I know ageing is an inevitable part of life and there's nothing wrong with it but I'm still finding this hard to deal with as it's happened so suddenly!

I'm finding it really hard to accept the 'new' me. Part of it is maybe that I've never been naturally pretty (small eyes, pale lips and horrible hyperpigmented uneven skintone) but until recently, makeup absolutely transformed my face. It was all smoke and mirrors but I managed to create the illusion of a beautiful pretty face. Now, the makeup no longer works its magic. It makes me look marginally less hideous but that's all.

Like I said, I know that ageing is normal and that I need to get over it but this stage (the realisation that my looks, such as they were, have vanished) has come as a shock and although I've been trying to accept it and even to embrace it, I'm really struggling :(

Has anyone else had this, where you seem to have physically aged very quickly all of a sudden? And how long did it take for you to accept that this really was what you now looked like?

By the way, I should say that when I say I look hideous I'm referring to my features, complexion etc not to 40+ women in general.

it's happening to me atm :(
don't like it one bit.
before all I needed was a good night's sleep and plenty of water to drink.
now I have a proper catsbummouth (don't even smoke) and crowsfeet and melasma and general bad complexion.
also have eczema so have to be carefull with facial treatments/masks or I end up looking like a racoon - just not so cute.

It does get better though - I had exactly this at 39 when DD was about 18 months and a full night's sleep a long gone memory. I looked rank.

But 2 years on I'm back to pretty much normal. It's a combination of proper rest plus not relying on carb heavy food to keep you going, more time to exercise and generally being able to relax that you got them out of babyhood safely.

Honestly, don't give up hope just yet!

PS Have you tried BB cream? The garnier one is OK but I think if you can get hold of the full-on Asian ones they are much better.

Thanks again for the replies and apologies again for not acknowledging them sooner. Been poorly for the last few days (one of the symptoms being swollen lymph nodes that have made my jawline look like David Coulthard's - I already hate looking in the mirror, so this is really not fair :( )

As I said before, it's a relief to hear that I'm not the only one going through this and not the only one suddenly worrying about looking old next to their younger DH! Am definitely buying some high strength glycolic acid to see if that helps more than the MD Formulations lotion. And praying that DS finally starts sleeping through.

Lots of cardio exercise, water and a combination of retinol and glycolic skin care. Get your eyebrows shaped and dyed regularly. Also sunblock, factor 30 and above every day when you are outdoors more than 10/15 minutes.

If i had done all that at your age I probably wouldn't be opting for cosmetic interventions now!

Depressing reading. I'm 35 next week and look knackered too. Well, I don't think I look too bad until I compare myself to my 3 year old in the mirror, then I look like a prune

Will try the aspirin tip.

How funny that someone would bump an old thread to recommend an obscure website...

Reported as spam

I am feeling it too. I am 40 with 2 boys- ages 6 & 4. I am no longer sleep deprived, but just look generally haggard. I do have a good skincare regime (retinol, glycolic etc), but I have figured that all those mattifying, heavy duty foundations are doing me no good whatsoever (still mentally that 20 year old girl, struggling with spotty skin and wanting to cover it up with unctuous products). Anyway, I have been sampling some foundations and the one that is most flattering on my skin is Chanel Vitalumiere Aqua. I need to tackle my hair next- it is limp and lifeless and generally ageing.

A year of sleep deprivation and breast feeding along with growing out an ill advised peroxide hair do absolutely did for me. Skin as dry as ancient parchment and sagginess, greyness just yuk. Thankfully I stumbled upon a Mumsnet thread about acids, retinol from Pharmacy Geoff online (!!!), Nip+Fab hyaluronic acid wipes, M&S Ultimate Sleep Cream, Alpha H Liquid Gold and Argan oil. For me, a return to natural hair colour (blanched mouse) and some serious spends and time invested in my skin has really helped and seems to have wound time back a bit. Don't find gallons of water/fruit/exercise make much of a difference, however having a fat face helps me look slightly less weather beaten.

I hear you! I swear I've aged in the last few weeks even and sitting next to gazelle like youngsters at work who are beautiful doesn't help. I'm going for new hair and a new face routine and new foundation at weekend. I'm also thinking that matte or oil control foundations might not be what I need...despite still having zits at over 40...

ZOMBIE THREAD

OP wrote this nearly 5 years ago. Would be interesting to read an update now though.

Yes yes! Any news from OP?? Have you gone radically head on into anti ageing measures??
I could have opened with your post as I'm in the same position. Turkey neck is on its way!!! 😱

I sometimes wonder if between 35-39 some people panic about 4 0 and change/start beauty routines that have an adverse affect and start the visicious cycle

Weight gain did it for me. I used to be called "young lady" two years ago. Now people have started calling me "mam".

I'm similar op I've been using this exfoliating serum which is is really good (I'll post its name when I'm home) followed by Laura mercier hydrating primer and a Stila foundation. My skin is looking a lot better!!!
I wouldn't over exfoliate in the winter now apart from with an 'acid'.
Moisturiser I'd say is more important because in the winter our skin gets so dry with central heating! There was a dermatologist on radio 4 who spoke about that..

Exercise, weight loss/toning, eating properly, drinking enough water will all help.

OP, I've felt this too. I was always being told I looked young for my age, with me being 10 yrs older than my husband, people thought I was nearer his age, when we met, he thought I was around his age!! Up until a couple of years ago, people were still a bit taken aback when I told them my age....

Now, there's no shock when I tell people how old I am! I'm nearly mid 40's & the years seemed to have caught up with me all of a sudden over the last couple of years ☹️

I don't & never have had a ridgid skincare routine, only that I take my make up off every night, then I've used either the Aldi serum or Nivea soft moisturiser.

I have found, that with make up, especially foundation & eye make up that I can't wear lots of it anymore as that tends to show my age more - so I use a lighter wear foundation, I really like the loreal nude Manique (sp) cushion one - however, you don't get a lot of it so it only lasts about a month! And I use to like a smokey eye look, eyeliner on the bottom with mascara, but now I find that makes me look 'older' so I just use eyeliner along the top lid.

Zombie thread i know, but I've been having these exact thoughts lately. Is there anything at all you can do for cats bum mouth lines?

Yes, yes there is. Got my lips done a couple of weeks ago and they have gone! Yay!

Done with what?!?

Sorry! Fillers, I haven't had massive lips or anything it's just plumped them up enough to push out the lines, and they weee pretty bad.
Google smokers lines lip fillers before and after pics.

I'm finding that to feel confident about my appearance in my 40s is expensive and time consuming.
I do:
Pilates 3 times a week, hair colour every three weeks, ballyage every 3 months, gel nails every 2 weeks, expensive clarins skin stuff whenever it runs out, clarasonic body brush whenever I remember, eyebrow threading every 2 weeks, dermaplaning at home (amazing) every week, fillers every year, Botox every three months, teeth whitening every couple of years, boob lift once, earlobe reduction once, laser hair removal on bikini 4 times - now permanent, pedicures every month or so in the summer, occasional uv tan just to not be bright white (I know, but I cover my face). No wonder I've never got any money at the end if the month!

The funny thing is that makes me sound like a barbie. I actually look like a skinny jeans and trainers mum who doesn't care much about appearance!

This happened to me too. Got married at 35 and could have passed for 30, had two babies at 37 and 39 and by 41 looked dreadful - sagging face, awful crepe textured skin, eye bags and lines everywhere - really gaunt.
But, now I'm 45 and look much much better as girls are older and I get sleep!! So do nit worry, a lot is reversible. However a few tips I've learned - keep weight 7 pounds above my normal - I lean to skinny easily and look shocking if I fall under a certain weight, 2 litres water every day, only fruit and vex for breakfast and lunch, exercise for 30mins every day - Tone It Up channel on YouTube is fab, and I've just started having Radiofrequency facials which tighten skin and my eye bags are disappearing and I look waaaaay fresher. I've started getting, hello beautiful, comments again in the street which 5 years ago, I would have thought would have been impossible. I'm not saying I welcome such sexist bs but it does give me a boost some days at 45!
Don't worry.

Aaah but ssymonds, that groomed natural look is waaay more flattering and beautiful than the Barbie look. Good on ya.
What is dermaplaning?

Jmangel, dermPlaning - it's a tool, a bit like a knife that you drag across your skin. It removes dead skin and the fuzzy blonde hairs and makes your skin feel really smooth and fresh. Great for top lip as fine wrinkles are made worse by dead layer of skin. You can buy them from stacked skincare or Amazon I think. It's a complete game changer. (If you have any darker hairs tweaser them out first else they would be too blunt when they come back through.