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Original poster

Brazilian waxing - first time - nervous!

158 replies

dasheranddancer · 03/01/2012 11:52

Have namechanged for this, sorry Blush
I've met a new man and though he's put no pressure on at all (as would run a mile) and despite usually having somewhat feminist views of unwanted hair - I've decided that just once I'm going to have it all off and see how I like it.
I'm nervous though! Where do I go? Does it matter - lots of places seem to do it. Do I tell them I'm nervous? Do they remove it all right back to the anal region? Will it be someone female? Can I just turn up? Does it matter that I had sex yesterday?
Sorry for all the questions and not even a Friday - any answers gratefully received :)

OP posts:
LeBOF · 05/01/2012 23:30

Another thing that pubes do is wick sweat away from the area. Lots of women who've had them whipped off say that they feel unpleasantly, erm, damp without them, which can lead to rashes and discomfort. As long as you wash daily, there's no reason that having body hair would make you unclean.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 05/01/2012 23:31

To be fair, I'm not convinced we've evolved with the optimum physical characteristics. Childbirth is pretty non-optimum, but necessary given upright walking and big brains.

I'm convinced hairy is more healthy than hairless myself, just not on that count.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 05/01/2012 23:35

why did you feel you have to name change or this ?

Dinamit · 05/01/2012 23:36

Basil, I will say what I feel. You are entitled to your opinion.

OK, perhaps hygienic is the wrong word but I DO feel cleaner that way. And before anyone jumps the gun, I am very clean and have high standards of personal care. I feel sexier and love the airy feeling 'down there'.

At the end of the day, it all boils down to preference and our own likes and dislikes. I don't know why a few women on this thread insist that having a brazillian must be a result of brainwashing/compliance to men/objectification.

Some women choose to die their hair, others don't. So should I think that my friends who use blonde hair dye do so to appear more attractive to men, or gasp, like porn stars?

I really don't understand why some women are so judgemental...everyone should do what makes them happy.

Dinamit · 05/01/2012 23:37

Interesting the level of responses this thread has generated...

MillyR · 05/01/2012 23:37

Agree with LRD; I am sure people manage fine who naturally have little pubic hair. It is the ripping it out of your follicles and away from your skin that causes the infection problem.

Ifancyashandy · 05/01/2012 23:39

I take your point LRD but apart from the appendix, I don't think we have anything we don't need.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 05/01/2012 23:42

I don't judge anyone. I think it is important to feel happy and positive about our bodies, and it is totally natural that we are all going to respond to what we see around us as being attractive - we're social animals, of course we will do that.

For me, I do try to resist some of the conventions about removing body hair, because they do make me uncomfortable, and I can't un-see or un-think the associations I now have between these conventions and other, less positive things.

I don't think there's anything wrong with discussing both sides.

MillyR · 05/01/2012 23:42

I don't think it is going to make anybody happy if they have a wax based on false advice about hygiene and then end up having to have a general anesthetic so that a doctor can sort out the subsequent infection.

Dinamit · 05/01/2012 23:42

Frankly, I don't see the necessity of hair as protection in the genital region. We don't wear loin cloths anymore...

LeBOF · 05/01/2012 23:43

I don't think anybody is being judgemental about it- just pointing out that it's worth questioning why you feel it's worth doing when it can cause problems and be painful. And challenging the dynamics behind the aesthetic rather than just blindly following a trend can be useful to women who are thinking about it.

Dinamit · 05/01/2012 23:46

LRD - my point was directed at you.
Milly - I think a woman should have a brazillian if she wants to, and not based on anyone's advice. Re: the infection front; never had one in more than 10 years. I did, however, go only once to someone other than my regular beautician and she got burnt! She used wax that was wayyy too hot. I think, like with many other services, as long as you are in the hands of a trusted expert, you are fine. You can get an infection from a bad dentist too.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 05/01/2012 23:47

I wonder when we did wear loin cloths. Mary Beard (before she threw her toys out of the pram) did a fascinating post about whether or not Roman ladies wore knickers.

But anyway, I think it's the open hair follicle that causes the trouble, not what you wear. I could be wrong.

There are a lot of things that women do that are not good for health, and I would put money on it everyone on this thread has done one or more of them at some time in her life. So it's not about judging or point-scoring ... but I have to admit I'm really interested because I have wanted to have this conversation with the Style and Beauty folk for ages, and haven't dared start it myself.

Dinamit · 05/01/2012 23:49

LeBOF, well my experience hasn't been flawed with complications and I don't find it very painful. I did once, when I went to someone who didn't know what they were doing.

LRD - what a lapsus; I meant to say MY POINT WASN'T DIRECTED AT YOU. Lol, nothing unconscious there - promise!

LRDtheFeministDragon · 05/01/2012 23:50

Sorry, dina, which point was directed at me? The judging one?

If so I am really sorry I made you feel that way. I don't judge anyone for removing hair.

I should admit, that is what I was thinking about, but if you mean my comment about doctors, well ... I don't judge, but I do think it's a serious medical problem. Honestly, it is. If you have a health issue and are too embarrassed to go to the GP, the answer is not to remove the hair.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 05/01/2012 23:51

Grin Oops.

Sorry dina, cross-posted.

Dinamit · 05/01/2012 23:53

LRD you are right, the feminist organisation I worked for had a project that focused on women't exposure to chemicals etc. as a result of "beautifying" themselves.

I really pay attention to what I buy and use on my body - and still find that the brazillian is acceptable. Well, if I were to pick the healthiest hair removal option, I would go for sugaring.

Dinamit · 05/01/2012 23:54

Or rather, the least harmful...

LRDtheFeministDragon · 05/01/2012 23:57

Oh, the chemicals thing is interesting ....I felt mega guilty earlier today because I've dyed my hair for the first time, and even though I know henna is healthy and other dyes can be scarily not-healthy ... I still went for the non-henna one. Blush

I am a rubbish feminist in a lot of ways but it doesn't stop me being interested.

MillyR · 05/01/2012 23:58

'I think, like with many other services, as long as you are in the hands of a trusted expert, you are fine.'

Well again, that is simply not true. You are at a higher risk of infection than women that don't have them. I doubt the same is true for women who have dental checkups as opposed to those that don't.

I don't think this is about being judgemental at all. It is about women making choices based on the facts, not anecdotal evidence.

MillyR · 06/01/2012 00:01

When I get older I might dye my hair, and would also probably go with the ones that carry a risk rather than henna. But I'm glad somebody posted about the risks on MN so that if I do dye my hair, I'll be more aware that there are problems and be looking out carefully for symptoms.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 06/01/2012 00:01

It's about what you'd rather someone knew if she were your DD or your sister or your best mate, IMO. You don't expect them to agree with you every time but you do say if you feel strongly and know something that might change their mind.

BasilRathbone · 06/01/2012 00:03

Dynamit you didn't say what you feel though, did you, you categorically stated that it is more hygienic. That isn't the same as saying that you feel cleaner. How you feel is how you feel, it's not a truth universally acknowledged.

Also where has anyone said that having a brazillian must be a result of brainwashing/compliance to men/objectification?

No one has said that. Discussing why women feel that it's cleaner or prettier, is not the same as saying they've been brainwashed. If you worked for a feminist organisation, then you'd know that the personal is political and that choices don't happen in a vacuum - there's a cultural and societal element to what people find beautiful or ugly. Elizabethan ladies who removed their forehead hair, weren't brainwashed. They were just making free choices within a cultural context.

Dinamit · 06/01/2012 00:04

Well, I am sure some OPs would say I am a rubbish feminist too, with my brazillians :)

Anyway, there are lots of natural hair dyes out there that are not henna based and quite sophisticated, eg www.ecocolors.net/
Aveda also offers organic dyes.

Some people are very purist; personally I try to achieve a balance. Some toxins are inevitable in the current age, but I try to do the best I can. I don't dye my hair, but not for those reasons. Personally, I care more about what I put on my skin. I know some hair dye gets on to the scalp but it is temporary where as moisturisers are used daily.

I am threadjacking so I will stop now.

BasilRathbone · 06/01/2012 00:08

Actually threadjack away, I want to know all about these natural dyes. Xmas Grin