what item of clothing do you look a TWAT in?

[withagoat]

( and how)
me polonecks ( inverted funnel)
long straight skirts ( amish)

I look awful in many many jumpers but cannot ever ever wear polo necks, my sister can explain better than me they are very wrong on me.

Ditto shirts, I look like a trussed up librarian or what i imagine a governess to look like.

Strapless is out too, shelf boob effect and broad shoulders plus armpit overhang.

I think the reason all of the above look atrocious are to do with the long neck/wide chest/broad shoulder combo I have.

I am 25 and still wear Jack Wills. I am defiant! (and I look awesome in it)

Polo necks
Anything one shouldered(am too broad in that area and wtf is the obsession with one shouldered crap?!)
skinny jeans(suckered into buying them cos they fashionable but they look awful).
Floaty ethnic/boho stuff(sob cos I love it)

I could never, ever wear a polo neck. Even nehru collars are pushing it. It must be a V.

Lippy. My DH laughed at me when I put lipstick on the other day. He thought I was joking.

Anything frilly in the sleeve department. I have broad shoulders. I look like a man in drag. I can do a small bit if structure, but a sleeveless frilly tea-dress would see me laughed off the high street.

TBH, I don't expose my arms (nobbly & fat) or legs (veiny) EVER.

Floaty, pretty smock style tops.

I look like a huge fat horse in them.

a hat

Low rise jeans!

Shorts. Never mind my shape/legs - there isn't a pair of sunglasses outside of NASA could cope with that glare and fake tan is for footballer's wives and teenagers.

I also agree with the person who said "accessories" - I feel like I've gone through the dressing-up cupboard at the school drama department. (I even feel that way with diamonds).

Babydoll tops. I look like Mama Cass. Pregnant.

Pretty much anything that is not jeans (straight cut) and caftan type top makes me look really odd. Nothing else seems to suit me

I would love to wear nice shoes with uncovered toes but have ugly feet too!

Puffy sleeves. I'm size 10 but broad shouldered, look like an American footballer.

Tea dresses or anything self-consciously 'feminine' just feel not grown-up enough

Waist belts - I have a tiny waist and massive bum, I kind of think it should work but it really doesn't. Low-waist jeans are far more flattering on me, makes my waist look bigger hence my arse smaller iyswim.

Joules clothes, especially those polo tops.

I look just SO preppy, my friends say I have the "haughty" face to go with it, and the ensemble just screams: preppy mum!

I feel I need to say "Yah" instead of "yes" IYSWIM, and do the school run on a horse..

My DH thinks I look great and for some reason gets all excited...

but I look like a tw££ really, as that is just not me! I look spookily genuinely posh though...

I also look stupid in high heels as I am 6ft1 and just keep bumping my head

I'm going to give the simple answer and say everything.

I have NO clue how to dress for my bodyshape, I am waiting for Gok Wan to walk into my life, hopefully he hurries up!

Polo neck/high neck - giant walking boob.

Lipstick - blow up doll.

Wrap dresses - cross between over stuffed turkey and a Christmas cracker.

Sleeveless tops - shot putter trying to fly effect.

Strapless tops/dresses - Are they my boobs? Are they my knees? Who knows.

polo necks = the receptionist from ghost busters

scarves = ( i want to look good in them but i look like i'm imitating an air hostess

empire lines = pg

long skirts in winter = poison dwarf

oddly enough summer long skirts i look floaty and bohemian

strapless = man

oooh, I cant wear strapless either thanks to deformed shoulders/ribs. tis a shame, because I used to look fab in them, even up to last year!

Anything with ruffles or frills. I tend to look like a cheap, brassy barmaid.

I fell flat on my face in Gap once thanks to a maxi denim number. Ds was in his buggy and I bent down to speak to him, somehow in the process I managed to get the bloody skirt trapped under the wheels of the buggy, so that when I stood up again, I went down as quick as I got up. I made such a clatter everyone stared at me. It was in Bluewater too. Still makes me wince thinking about it.

white jeans
cropped trousers
empire line
halternecks due to broad shoulders

Pretty much everything, at the moment. I have gone to seed....

MUST join that gym!

skinny jeans - I am 5'1" tall, and have a larger bottom and thighs than is proportionate to the rest of me. skinnies make me look horrendous and I am only a size 10

anything with too big a pattern - again, because I am a shortie

big sunglasses - they hide everything about my face and just look way too big, a bit like a kid trying on mum's sunglasses

chunky beads - I like like Wilma Flintstone!

• Hareem pants, altho everyone looks a twat in them tbh.

• floaty frilly rufflly flowery anything....blurgh central

• anything from TOAST, but again see point No.1

• lipstick, like gilbon but I look like a sheman.