Whoever said money can't buy happiness, simply didn't know where to go shopping - or the Wise & Avid lot!

[OllieWollieWoo]

Stamp on the new thread (quote from Bo Derek btw!!!)

Bloss - forgot to say v glad feathers dress worked so well!

Wise Ladies - need help: Clinique Super Defense moisturiser running low, where is the best place to order from? Boots seems best so far - looked at eBay, strawberrynet and Amazon.

Bunny, I would say Boots, at least you will get the points.

Where is Yangymac? Hope the plans to relocate are going well!

Blossoming, happy anniversary! Are the platform shoes you mentioned the R&B looby lous? Are they comfortable?

carciofi wait- it's lovely

zembo CONGRATULATIONS!!

bunny how are you feeling? I used to buy clinique from here in person/online. They have some points thing going on but don't think it's any cheaper than the places you mention

WELL I am P is being a real PITA! He was meant to be looking after DS when I'm at work but is suddenly refusing and I have committed to returning full time.. er.. on Monday..

What a ***! sorry for that rant! I can't really afford a nanny on just my salary I spend my nanny fund on shoes and there is no other childcare available around here at the moment, I hope he's bluffing and I will go back as planned.. I've been working from home recently too but I can't do that for long I really need to be in the office. ARGH they will hate me, I've already pushed back my return date 3/4 times!

Also.. I wore my new boots yesterday (not the ones I hid in the bathroom, some other ones ) and P called me a fashion victim! how very dare he! He then said they were too 'tarty' (how very dare he) when I was wearing opaques and a knee length dress! Hardly shocking

Ehem..

Enough ranting for one day..

monkeysmama your post really strck a chord with me, I won't be ttc ever again with P but it feels like there's this empty seat where my DD should be- and I would, in better circumstances, have a very strong desire to put that right. That's why I had DS (shh don;t tell him) but it was to fill that space- didn't work of course as he is a boy and really very different!

I often see siblings toddling through the park and feel really sad that DC1 isn't there with us, really sad that I'll never be the one with the double buggy and DS will never have his big sister to play with..

I'm ranting again sorry

Must go and get coffee

Vin - you have so much on your plate. Now please ignore me if I'm talking rubbish but I think if I was in your situation I would be finalising your split from your P and sorting out for somewhere for you and DS to live and getting maintenance/childcare in place.

He is being a knob and if I were you I just wouldn't feel confident trusting that he will do the childcare.

Good luck! And one last thing - the relationships section is very good on how to get away from nightmare partners. Search on mollflounders for a really inspirational story.

Vino your post brought a tear to my eyes - that is exactly how I feel. Most days I cope with that feeling reasonably easily but when the question of more LOs comes up I can't help but think I just want her back. Sorry to be a bit sad so early in the day.

I am really sorry to hear about your p being such a shit. I hope it isn't out of turn for me to say but he sounds quite text book manipulating atm. You looked lovely so he criticises you, you are going back to work, coping magnificently with his appalling behaviour and moving on and he is trying to do the one thing in his power to stop you by withdrawing child care or at least not confirming if he will or not. I hope you're ok and get the resolution you want as soon as possible.

Nowhere near as serious but am having some relationship angst of my own atm. My dp is being very unthoughtful and I am going to do something about it. Not sure what yet but I have had enough of being little more than a nanny, child entertainer and cook.

Has anyone seen WIT today? That is exactly what I want to look like. She looks beautiful.

I sound very grumpy today don't I?! May have a nap with dd and see if I can wake up happy .

Thanks tracey- had a crisis there my computer crashed when I was browsing NAP [horror] had to do some complicated system restoring and it's deleted lots (of fabulous clothes links)

Anyway yes even if he changes his mind, all it will take is one bad mood (every day) and he won't look after him. He constantly tries to sabotage my life! I never knew how difficult it could be to get away from this kind of relationship.. he's not happy unless I'm under lock and key at home all day with no money and no life and no friends or prospects, then he's very happy as he says himself he has 'acquired' me

Tbh that's kind of why I haven't been to your meet-ups, the reaction from P would have been v bad

I think I may have a nursery place in January if I bribe and harrass them, not even childminders have spaces around here, and DS has been on 2 waiting lists (nurseries) since he was born and still nada

oh monkeys- that's how I feel, I just want her back and nothing else will compare, even if I had 10 more children I'd still have this deep void where she should be

I must dash back later to online shop

Still at parents, so limited abiklity to keep up.

Vin - Your situation sounds sounds terrible. I am so sad for you that you feel you can't go out and meet people without him trying to stop it. Surely uou would both be better off financially if you returned to work, so what is his rationale?

So sorry to hear the sadness you and MM carry with you about your DCs.

MM - Hope that things get better soon better you and DP - it is never good to feel unappreciated.

Bunny - I would go for Boots. You can order it to be picked up from your nearest store, and therefore avoid any delivery charges, which definitely makes them one of the cheapest options [tight/wise emoticon]

carciofi, the looby lous are comfy, but the ones I mentioned are lkbennetts. They're much higher and a bit more edgy. From 3 years ago.

bunny, hope you get some relaxing time.

vino, do you not have any family around to turn to? You are so young to be facing such turmoil on your own. You are very strong I'm sure, but I hate to hear of you so alone at the mercy of your Ps manipulations.

Re WIT: the stripey top, gold jewellery and polished nails are all very esher at the meet up!!

Esher I think I love you .

Vino, your ex-p sounds extremely manipulative.

Aha, so the WIT stylist is Italian. That explains the beautiful colouring.

Carciofi - thats exactly what I thought about todays WIT's post - when I read about her being Italian I actually nodded at the screen and went ahhhhh that explains it out loud!

Vin - so sorry that you are having all this hassle from exP. What MM has written re him being manipulative sounds exactly right. You carry on buying whatever you want too - I think you come across has having great style and taste - and you no longer have to dress to please him. Stay strong and hope the work problem gets resolved.
MM - your posts re DD are sad but beautifully written. Big hugs to you.
Blossoming - think the items for your stand sound fab. Ikea has some cute drawstring bags (not wash bags) in their Xmas range and they were flying off the shelves. I'd buy washbags for DSs and as presents. Intrigued by the lip balm. How do you make it and how will you package it?

On a frivolous note - my ASOS Star dresses finally turned up this morning and I have just come back from a quick trip to the shops with DS2 in tow (bribe - yoghurt covered raisons and hot dogs for lunch ) and picked up 2 pairs of shoe boots for 10 euros each. Ok, they were from a bit of a cheapo shoe shop (for 10e, no really?!!) and reduced from 35e so not ever going to be the best quality but they really are fab - got them in black and grey suede, plain design, quite high heel and just what I have been looking for for nights out that don't involve a lot of walking! Will look good with the ASOS dresses I think - so will be walking round in a dress and shoes costing a grand total of 18 pounds - my tights cost more than that!

On a Christmas note - is it too early/not appropriate/too boring to share some present ideas? I've just found some stuff (small presents/stocking fillers) for friends kids on Amazon - happy to share but not at the risk of boring or irritating everyone!

ollie, you are a very shrewd shopper indeed! I will link you the lipbalm stuff later.

ollie, here it is. You can also buy a kit which includes all the ingredients, and pots. I'll give it a go, nothing ventured..!
Btw I'm still wanting some beautiful shoe boots, and mourning the R&B ones every day. This is despite my heavy socialising month just past where my feet were always firmly hidden behind tables!

carciofi, if you're interested this is my new curry book. So tasty and flavoursome, not too hot. But I haven't tried the vindaloo recipe yet!

Oh Vin and MM - sending you a v un-MN hug and kiss on your lovely cheeks and even at little comforting rub between your shoulder blades. I haven't had the same loss, but I think I understand when you say your DDs are irreplaceable and that no other child can take their place. If I lost DD there is no one else who would "do". I would just want her back.

But Vin - I 2nd Tracey's advice, that's what I would do, too. This is all about control, isn't it!? And he will never give up what control he has - you have to take it from him.

MM - sorry to hear you aren't being appreciated by your DP, esp since you do seem to garner enthusiastic appreciation elsewhere . Sorry, will stop teasing.

Thanks for tips, think I will go to Boots for the moisturiser - points and free delivery are worth something to me!

Bloss - you are so creative! Hope you enjoy making your items.

Have to run, "see" you later!

Thanks, Bloss, going to order that for my brother and myself. Curry goes well with my new Sat night drink (alcohol free Becks!)

OWW, the boots sound great value. I'd like to hear the gift ideas. I have bought one gift so far, a velvet scarf for my grandmother (90 and still loves clothes!).

Me too ollie.
carciofi, the book is really stylish colour wise too! Vibrant pink and yellows!!

Vin & MM - so so sorry to read how you are feeling...and vin your DP is such a huge shit (such a lovely turn of phrase - sorry!). I agree with the many wise words from our A&W ladies!

Zembo - hurrah! Wonderful happy news. When will you tell dh?

Fritzi - wonderful round up! Thank you. It helped me catch up.

ABO - I ordered the Janice too but like you have the anglomania and I think they are too similar to justify keeping both. So I'm going to be a wise and send back the Janice (though it is lovely).

Dolcee - did you get the cut out dress in the end? Is it any good?

the WIT lady does have the most beautiful colouring doesn't she? I have Italian heritage but my skin is sallow unfortunately - not golden like hers

So sorry for those of you feeling your sadness right now. And vin, tracey's advice seems eminently sensible to me.

Still undecided about janice - and still don't know what I'd wear on legs and feet; advice welcomed, thanks!

oww would love to see your present purchases! I've so far bought three of these for the 7-year-old boys I have to buy for. DS1 loves his!

Love a bit of bunting here too - sadly no DDs to enjoy it with, but the "family bunting" comes out every year for the boys' birthday parties. I have hooks permanently in the garden walls so I can put it up quickly when the mood takes me .

vin and MM, your posts are so sad. How could you ever replace a child.

Vin you must make sure you're sorted to go back to work, if you ever needed your independence it's now. Nursery place, own home, child support payments from ex P. He does sound very unpleasant. There's some helpline for women that people talk about in relationships that sounds very good for getting impartial advice on how to resolve your situation. They might be able to point you in the direction of some childcare even. Have a look in that topic.

MM I felt like a drudge when not working - like my important responsibilities were things like making sure dh had clean pants. He still phones me to complain that the kitchen's dirty, even when I'm in the office in London (isn't that absurd? As if I'd phone him on his business trip to Central Asia to say I'd had to sweep the kitchen floor ) but at least I can say "bugger off, I'm at work". So the outcome is that I spend 55 hours per week at a job I loathe.

Oh and forgot to say zembo that I'm also trying to see a few bit on ebay for the first time - am ridiculously excited that somebody has bid on a top and 18 people are watching my mattress! Can see how people get addicted to selling, although I found it really hard to take photos of the clothes and shoes and make them look good.

"see a few bit"? sell a few bits obviously