Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Original poster

Aging and what makes women look older than they are

145 replies

DontMentionChorizo · 26/09/2010 10:15

Uhmmm.. I have been exercising and eating better lately, which has considerably improved my skin and this got me thinking about things that make you look older than you are.

BTW I am 37 so no spring chicken meself Wink. I would say for me these stand out:

Being overweight
Dressing frumpily
Smoking
Having loooong unkept hair

What do you think? and on the other hand what makes women look younger?

Lighthearted thread, btw Grin

OP posts:
DurhamDurham · 26/09/2010 18:40

I love the 80's! Everything loud,bright and ahem luminous. I'll leave this thread about getting old and sit and reminise about my mis-spent youth in stripy tights,doc martins and v short skirts! Happy Days Smile

TheBolter · 26/09/2010 18:43

Being too thin. Really ageing on female actresses and celebrities when they look haggard. They can get away with it until about 30 then after that they start to look bony and Dot Cotton-y.

minimathsmouse · 26/09/2010 18:55

I often see an elderly lady 75+ in the town, she always looks fab. She is always in bright colours, hats, scarves, DM boots, stripy tights. My father who is a similar age to her often comments to say, how silly she looks. I admire her though, I sometimes think ageing can be liberating.

duckyfuzz · 26/09/2010 19:00

I was 40 last month and imo look better than I have for a good 20 years, having lost 2st and as a result improved my skin beyond belief, discovered a whole new wardrobe and got a chic cropped hairstyle to go with it, I quite like being older, you know your body so much better

polyhymnia · 26/09/2010 19:16

minimathsmouse, well over the 50+ divide Katisha mentions above - but can't see the day ever arriving when I'll start shopping out of the Daily Mail or Telegraph ads - or at M and S so-called 'Classic' Collection. Some of their other ranges are aging enough, goodness knows ...

MadameCastafiore · 26/09/2010 19:25

To not look old I think you have to finally have an idea of what suits you and especially what colours do (women in plae pink - unless you are a teenager it shouldn;t be done - EVER!) and stick to it, look relatively groomed always, wear nice shoes (some of the shoes people post o here are bloody granny shoes - anything with a molded sole adds 10 years) and wearing lipstick - to me old people wear lipstick - well old women but I suppose men might if they are that way inclined!

geordieminx · 26/09/2010 20:07

Can we back up to the bit wher riven said she was fat/frumpy? I'm sure I recall a thread where you gave your approximate weight/height, and the majority of posters reckoned you were a size 12? That is not fat or frumpy, infect, I seem to recall you are quite tall so it's actually quite slim!!!!!!

You are not fat or frumpy!!!!

Sorry ladies. As you wereGrin

nevergoogle · 26/09/2010 20:16

pav, i did the odd fluorescent socks too, er and laces. nowadays, any odd socks is a laundry issue.

c0rns1lk · 26/09/2010 20:18

I didn't do florescent anything in the 80's. I did do lacy socks though

nevergoogle · 26/09/2010 20:19

reversible jumper corny?

c0rns1lk · 26/09/2010 20:20

God no. I did off the shoulder tops.

nevergoogle · 26/09/2010 20:21

oh i do them now! (off the shoulder tops,not reversible jumpers)

c0rns1lk · 26/09/2010 20:22

Grin they are fiddly though aren't they? I am too grumpy to fiddle with anything now.

nevergoogle · 26/09/2010 20:26

wear a vest top underneath.

wubblybubbly · 26/09/2010 20:36

I'm more than happy to age. Better than the alternative really.

NotanOtter · 26/09/2010 20:39

sorry not read whole thread yet

valium singleton you are so right. Weight is the number one imo - matronly vs lithe !

I swear I have had so many more comments about looking good purely since i lost a bit of weight ( was 10ish now 9 st 4 am 5 8)

I am thinking i look haggard and stressed but i am sure that the world only sees lean and equates it with younger

c0rns1lk · 26/09/2010 21:12

yes to vest top. I am still too old and grumpy though!

bluefinger · 26/09/2010 22:07

I see lots of 30+ women who look so much better than me (I'm 29). I take almost no care in my appearance (need to remedy this).

My Mum looked very old for her age, she was often mistaken for my grandmother, even though she was only 34 when she had me.

I really don't have good genes. I had my first grey hair at 12, now at 29 my hair is about 40 % grey. I don't have the money to do it properly so do it myself. Which looks a bit shit.

Then again I am fat and ugly anyway so have for the most part given up caring, no matter what I do I will be ugly, so whats the goddam point.

NotanOtter · 26/09/2010 22:17

Bluefinger you sound like you need Gok or Trinny and Susannah to make you see your good points!!

You really should not feel like that about yourself x

DurhamDurham · 27/09/2010 09:05

bluefinger no-one is 100% ugly or 100% beautiful and I'm so sorry you have such a negative opinion of yourself. Does that maybe stem from the fact that your mum had a low opinion of herself and it's transferred on to you?
I think you would benefit from some sort of overhaul from someone, but I can't think how or who this could be. I bet if you brought out your best features you would feel so much better about yourself. Have you a best friend or family member who could help?Someone who would tell the truth?
You wouldn't want your children growing up with such a negative view of themselves.

And before someone tells me I'm wrong to suggest bluefinger changes, she's clearly unhappy and if small changes can make her feel better it can only be a good thing.

sexybrunettemotherof5 · 27/09/2010 09:22

What a ridiculous thread! How to make people feel bad about themselves or what? Sheesh!

I'm 45, smoke, have had ridiculous hair all my life and I honestly don't give a toss what anyone else thinks of me. I shall continue to dresss as I please, wear my hair in whatever style I like and say BAH HOO and sneer at all you sheep who adhere to stupid rules about how women ought to look.

SweetBeadieRussell · 27/09/2010 09:47

er, i don't wanna make anyone feel out of touch but the 80's have been the fashion trend of the past 3 or so years. Have a quick look at the Topshop website, or ASOS, or switch on Radio 1! In fact it's a trend that's just about to go out of fashion again.

don't worry, it's not a trend i've been keeping up with, looks bloody awful. Anyway i'm 29 and looking at least 40 due to sleep deprviation and my shoddy genes.

realitychick · 27/09/2010 10:09

Sexy brunette, i love your attitude, but some days I wake up, look in the mirror and just think: Yikes! So old. Long hair is a killer. It was shoulder length in summer and everyone said it looked great. It's grown an inch or two and people keep telling me how tired I look. That flat hair look is so aging.
Middle aged spread doesn't help. The most beautiful mum at our school is also one of the oldest. She's inspiring, but a bit daunting.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 27/09/2010 10:23

This dressing for your age thing is bollocks. I've always admired women who ignore this and wear what they want to wear - they look all the better for it.

I do agree with Bonsoir that it is worth reapraising your best features - this doesn't mean utterly binning your preferred style though (if you have one that is).

moosemama · 27/09/2010 11:05

I am feeling better about myself today, but this thread was absolutely not what I needed yesterday. Yesterday was a bad day for me, I was very, very low.

It really doesn't help people who lack confidence to feel that others really are looking at them and thinking 'judgey' thoughts.

This morning I managed to get into my favourite pair of boots for the first time since my injury and those, together with the lovely winter coat I saved up for, made me feel a lot better about the way I looked. Even though it was raining I didn't feel a mess on the school run.

I think state of mind has a lot to do with how old you look. I have been going through a fair bit of stress recently, haven't been able to exercise due to the ankle injury and have consequently gained weight. My self-confidence has been rock bottom as a result. To be honest the last thing on my mind has been how I looked, until one of those moments, when I'd suddenly realise I hadn't been taking care of myself, have somewhere to go, but no chance of making myself look decent.

One thing I did think about after I posted yesterday, was that I have managed to keep up with my skincare routine and that, coupled with good genetics from my Mum's famil, means that I have pretty good skin for my age.

See, today I can think about my good points and am feeling happier and more self-confident. Today all the judgey comments/thoughts would bounce off, yesterday they made me want to curl up in a ball and give up.

I don't think this thread has been particularly light-hearted. I honestly don't believe anyone's intention was to cause upset, but surely that's the whole point about judging others, its never a positive thing, no matter how its couched.