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Original poster

Aging and what makes women look older than they are

145 replies

DontMentionChorizo · 26/09/2010 10:15

Uhmmm.. I have been exercising and eating better lately, which has considerably improved my skin and this got me thinking about things that make you look older than you are.

BTW I am 37 so no spring chicken meself Wink. I would say for me these stand out:

Being overweight
Dressing frumpily
Smoking
Having loooong unkept hair

What do you think? and on the other hand what makes women look younger?

Lighthearted thread, btw Grin

OP posts:
BalloonSlayer · 27/09/2010 11:05

Sexybrunette, that's great, but this thread is for those of us who already feel a bit bad about ourselves and are worried we are getting it wrong.

My tip is to have neat/smooth, ie not messy hair. My wrinkles make my face look "messy," if I have messy hair as well it's a disaster. However if I use the straighteners too much it looks wrong too.

Not that I look great or anything Sad

gramercy · 27/09/2010 11:24

I definitely think having a "hair do" is ageing. And I don't mean a granny shampoo and set affair, but any hair do - particularly anything resembling the feather Lulu or Anthea Turner style.

And wearing "sassy" clothes looks just terrible. Especially Per Una.

minimathsmouse · 27/09/2010 11:36

MooseMama, I am so glad you are feeling better today about yourself. I didn't post after you yesterday, as I went away and did some thinking. Not about judgements, but about how awful you seemed to feel, it made me feel Sad I agree skin care is important, and see, you have nice skin, so you have already got that advantage, over a lot of us.

I have good skin but crap teeth Sad so I always look grumpy! If a smiled i might frighten people.

I know some beautiful people, one friend in particular is stunning, she is 50 although no one would ever guess. She is however catty and spiteful at times and firecely competetive. Another friend is hugely over weight and never does anything with her appearance, but she smiles alot and has warmth about her - guess which one has the most friends.

I am no oil painting but I find saying to the world, take me as you find me, makes me feel better.

FiveOrangePips · 27/09/2010 11:41

Trying too hard is ageing imho.

Too much make up
Overly plucked eyebrows!
Over done hair in extreme colours i.e certain shades of blonde/red/black are very ageing.
Being too thin (don't agree about being over weight, I know quite a few plump people who look a lot younger than they are.)
Smoking/ sun damaged skin.

I am 37 and have been asked for proof of age recently, and when I was out for an 18 yr old's birthday (friend's dc) was asked if I was his gf, we weren't even sitting together (okay the guy was drunk but still!). I am not big on make up, hardly ever go to the hair dresser, long hair Shock - which is in good condition imho. I don't smoke and I have always been a bit sun shy! I am fairly healthy, but I do drink and I am neither fat/thin, just a fairly normal weight. I am probably quite scruffy and although I like clothes I don't have the money/opportunity to shop very often.

moosemama · 27/09/2010 12:19

Thank you minimathsmouse. I guess I am extra touchy about this subject, as my sister is older than me and went grey in her early twenties - so went blonde to hide it. She also dresses pretty young for her age and socialises with people that are younger than her. Her dcs are grown and she is now enjoying her freedom - which is great.

I started my family relatively late by comparison and am still at the hard work and sleepless nights stage, so obviously look tired a lot of the time and have less time to spend on myself/my looks.

I only started to get grey hair when I had dd (just before I hit 39) and also lost a lot of hair whilst I was expecting her and postnatally, which was a shock, as I'd always had really thick glossy hair and no grey at all previously. Now everyone thinks I am several years older than her and a few of her 'friends' have told me so to my face at different times when I'd thought I was actually looking my best.

I suppose I find it frustrating that despite the fact that actually, I don't look old - I just look my age, yet to be socially acceptable these days, I would have to dye my hair and dress in a different way etc.

I wish I had the self-confidence to not care what others think, but I don't. I did when I was younger - dh and I were both quite alternative in our style, not pertaining to any particular group, we just wore what we liked and that happened to be fairly different from the norm.

minimathsmouse · 27/09/2010 13:24

I also lost a lot of hair after having DCs, I had always had very thick hair. I used to wear it down past my waist, people used to touch my hair and comment. When I lost a lot of it, I felt like I was living in a different shell. Sad I had probably defined myself by my hair more than anything. I have discovered Nourkrin, which is fab, cheaper on ebay and has really helped. I don't spend on clothes (just home ed and kids) but I have insisted DH pay for my vitimins and nourkrin. Smile

I don't have a sister thankfully! I think you'll find it all evens out in the end. When your older sister hangs up her hair dye and young clothes, you'll be coming into your own, as the DCs will have grown up. I'm certainly hoping i'll have more time as mine get more independant. My mum went grey at 18 so I always console myself that I'm not doing too bad at 38.

Bunbaker · 27/09/2010 13:30

I don't have the self confidence to let my hair go grey. So I will continue to dye my hair and remain vain and shallow. My eyebrows are still dark brown, so grey hair might look silly with them anyway.

One of the mums at school has grey hair, but it suits her and she has a very youthful face. I had my colours done many years ago and agree that wearing the wrong colour can be very unflattering.

moosemama · 27/09/2010 13:47

Bunbaker, I don't think its vain or shallow to dye your hair. I would definitely do it if I could afford to pay a professional. I only tried doing it myself once - a very bad idea in my case! Grin

I often look at the ladies who go deliberately grey shade by shade, so that it gradually becomes sort of grey/platinum. Often in a really smart bob or similarly chic cut. They always look so stylish. I don't think it would work for me though, as I am going grey round the edges and underneath, but the length, top of my head and parting etc are all still dark.

I would probably be better off having mine cut into a bob so that the underside doesn't show (it always does as I usually wear my hair up) but I can't stand not being able to tie it off my face when I'm cooking, changing nappies or doing anything else that tips my head forwards.

If I'm honest, I think mine is long for sheer ease, as its so much easier to run a brush through it and then either tie it back neatly or put it into a chignon or pleat, than it is to have to style it every day. It took me much longer to do my hair when it was short, than it does now.

OrmRenewed · 27/09/2010 13:50

I do find it quite depressing to think my options are now limited by my age. For years I thought I looked like the back of a bus (I didn't btw but low self-esteem does stupid things - so I only wore clothes that hid as much of me as possible. Now I have to restrict myself to certain clothes because others aren't suitable for older women.

Ah well I don't suppose I will take any notice. I rarely do these days Grin

notyummy · 27/09/2010 13:57

I agree with the poster that said that there are plump people who look younger than they are...however, I do think that being plump/curvy - but with a waist - is the secret to looking younger. Having no waist/carrying all your weight on your tummy I think is very aging, and has obvious health risks.

That aside, there are so many other factors that it would be difficult to make a list. On one person grey hair looks aging - but I saw a picture of a 42 year old model who has let herself go naturally grey and she looked AMAZING. The same with clothes/make up etc. No hard and fast rules. It is all about self-esteem and self-respect I think - and that doesn't mean wearing a cretain type of clothes or make-up.

BadgersArse · 27/09/2010 13:59

DO YOU KNOW WHAT
i dont htink it is appearance
i think its attitood.

BalloonSlayer · 27/09/2010 14:23

Probably is, BadgersArse.

I have no idea. Confused

I am always reading that Carine Roitfeld (editor of French Vogue) looks FABULOUS. I think she looks awful! Mainly her face/hair. I think it's all wrong. But she should know what looks good, shouldn't she?

BadgersArse · 27/09/2010 14:23

she is a GOppisimo

noddyholder · 27/09/2010 14:26

Am liking the plump=young idea as I stuff my face with a packet of walkers!

brimfull · 27/09/2010 14:26

god yes roitfeld woman is hideous
huge eybrows and too thin

c0rns1lk · 27/09/2010 14:32

those painted on eyebrows look hideous on everyone but especially older women. As do big black roots (like mine)

BalloonSlayer · 27/09/2010 14:32

To be fair to her I read an interview with her a few weeks ago and she doesn't rate her own looks much - she said she thought she looks like Iggy Pop

Ronaldinhio · 27/09/2010 14:57

taking an interest in themselves and the world and having a nod to fashion

op

often overweight women look younger
only young people smoke now
allllll young people have ridiculously long unkempt hair, male and female
dressing frumpily is fashion atm

WhatsWrongWithYou · 27/09/2010 15:00

I think one thing that ages anybody, regardless of their hair colour, style, weight, flattering/unflattering clothes, smoker/non-smoker, wrinkles or lack of, is bad posture, resulting in what my DM calls Widow's Hump.

After her hysterectomy a few years ago she was determined to avoid this, and deliberately stretched to avoid that crouching, hunched-over-scar position that leads to the spine curving in this way.

She's still perfectly upright, and always looks years more youthful than lots of her friends in photographs.

faustina · 27/09/2010 15:38

I think Badger is totally right about attitude - and a good hard look in a full-length mirror every morning.

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