Came back from holiday early ...............

[Squirrel3]

We came back from holiday early yesterday because it did nothing but rain, because we were camping everything was damp and horrible and I came down with flu. The kids weren?t having a great time either so we decided to come home and just go out for days (at least we would have somewhere dry to sleep). The kids are excited because we had planned to take them to Thorpe Park today.

But?.

At 4am the phone rang to tell me that my Grandad has died?. I feel numb? I know that now he is out of pain and he is not suffering anymore but??

I don?t know what to do about the kids, we are supposed to have them until Sunday, don?t think I can cope with that, but on the other hand they have had such a rotten holiday and they were so excited about Thorpe Park and other days out we had planned I feel really guilty about wanting them to go home?.

I can?t think straight, don?t know what to do, I feel numb but I?m in a ?flat spin? too.

Sorry if this is depressing, I thought it might help to write it down, but it hasn?t?..

bloody Hell!!!!! Sorry but my goodness you are in the wars lately. was thinking about you on the way into work today as couldnt remember if funeral was today or tomorrow (knew it was the 19th but lost track of the date). How did you manage to break your fingers? cor bet you really were a furious duck when that happened.

Glad to hear about the flowers btw

Yep I was furious, lol

I can't tell you how down I feel ATM, (Although I can laugh about it in between times)

DP and I decided to go out on the boat and try to do something 'normal' to try to get us back to normal (if that makes sense, our relationship is still a bit strained), well we got out to sea ans it got really rough, I was sick as a dog so we decided to come in back to shore, I was winching the boat back on to the trailer when my hand slipped and the winch handle spun back and mangled my hand. It also hit me in the chest I though I'd broken a couple of ribs too but they are just bruised.

P.s my moblie phone decided to give up and stop workin yesterday evening, which I'm really p-ed off about 'cos I have a video on it that I took of grandad smilimg at me just before I went on holiday.

Why am i having such a rough patch? I'm really fed up with it now!

Sorry about the typo's, its hard to type with a mangled hand.

Oh dear squirrel, big hugs to you, it never rains but it pours! It's always the case isn't it that everything just comes at you all at once? If I'm feeling down I try to tell myself that I have to go through bad times so that I can appreciate the good times more, and I try to think about good times to cheer myself up

I think with tomorrow on your mind you're bound to feel very down but I'm sure once tomorrow is over you'll start to feel better

Don't be too hard on yourself - anyone would feel down after what you've had to cope with recently. Try to keep smiling

thank you NAAM

sorry squirrel
Knew about your g'dad cos of the readings thread but only just saw this about all the REST! xxx
Hope it goes well for you tomorrow, maybe it will be easier to start the grieving process after the funeral, hope dp is a bit more supportive maybe funeral will bring it home to him what you've been going through x Ninah

It seems I am no longer going to be a stepmum, so I would like to thank everybody for the advice and support that you have given to me over the last few months.

Sam, I hope that you get pregnant very quickly and I know that you will make a wonderful mum.

Tarantula, thank you for your support, I don't know what I would have done without you lately.

I'll still be around occasionally to pop in to see how you all are, so play nicely.

Oh no squirrel! I take it from this that you and your DP have split? Don't you think there's any hope of you sorting things out?

If not then you can be an honorary stepmum - cos us stepmums on here say so

thank you NAAM, I'll still pop in to see how you all are, I do value all of your friendships, its just all a bit 'raw' ATM, don't really feel up to talking about it, I'm in a blackhole kind of place...

But I would love to be an honorary step-mum, when I climb out of this hole, now where did I put that ladder

Squirrel!!!!!! I can't believe what I am seeing on your post. Please don't tell me you are leaving us???? Whatever has happened (and Im not going to push you) you know that you can talk to us on here. I have almost been on a cliff edge before, but you and other have brought me round. Please stay and talk, this site wouldn't be the same without you. I / We need you! and kisses]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

Hello everyone, my computer went BANG! so I havent been able to post for the last few weeks. I havent abandoned you all, I've been able to borrow a lap top for a few days so I'll be able to talk for a few days (yippie) I've been going through withdrawal!

Hi Squirrel - how are you?

Sorry Kbear I had to rush off, I'm getting there I think, my fingers are healing, dp is trying (very trying!) and I think that its just going to take time for the grief to ease.

How are things with you?

I'm okay thanks - you have a lot to deal with there as well as the loss of your Grandad. I was just wondering how you were getting on.