Came back from holiday early ...............

[Squirrel3]

We came back from holiday early yesterday because it did nothing but rain, because we were camping everything was damp and horrible and I came down with flu. The kids weren?t having a great time either so we decided to come home and just go out for days (at least we would have somewhere dry to sleep). The kids are excited because we had planned to take them to Thorpe Park today.

But?.

At 4am the phone rang to tell me that my Grandad has died?. I feel numb? I know that now he is out of pain and he is not suffering anymore but??

I don?t know what to do about the kids, we are supposed to have them until Sunday, don?t think I can cope with that, but on the other hand they have had such a rotten holiday and they were so excited about Thorpe Park and other days out we had planned I feel really guilty about wanting them to go home?.

I can?t think straight, don?t know what to do, I feel numb but I?m in a ?flat spin? too.

Sorry if this is depressing, I thought it might help to write it down, but it hasn?t?..

If it was me Id have had an axe to them already and Id take great pleasure in it too. Id dump his stuff in a pile outside for him to pick up and get the locks changed asap. seems like he hasnt got the emotional security to deal with any kind of crisis whatsoever.

Sorry you are having to deal with all this

No, there is no-one, unfortunately because of my sht childhood I always tend to keep people at arms lentgh, I very rarely let people close... cos when I do look what happens... they sht on you from a graet hieght when you are down..

Sorry I'm sure not everybody is like that

p.s tarantula, you and your bloody axe, lol

Wheres ds today Squirrel? Is he around at all?

they come in very handy do axes even if they are blunt.

DS is at work, so at least he hasn't had t witness all of this

Well, I didn't like to say, so I'm glad you said it for me Squirrel. You're absolutely right - you deserve far better than him .... that he can leave you when you are mourning, unable to spare a tiny bit of consideration for you, and thinking only about himself is disgusting. I'm pleased you feel angry at him 'cos you need to invest all your emotional energy into looking after you and yours right now .... try not to give him a thought, he quite patently isn't thinking about you the coward.

And yeah, if I were in your shoes, I'd destroy anything material that was precious to him. Why the f**k should you care when it should be you that's precious to him .... that means helping you through crises, not running away and making snide remarks like a spoilt petulant teenager FFS.

When is your son coming home ?

ds comes home anywhere from 5pm to 6.30pm depending on how well the job is going

I'd better start pulling myself together for ds, my head is pounding from crying so much, time to start taking some deep breaths and compose myself.

and dd will be bac from the hospital soon I expect, so she should put her phone on charge as soon as she gets in, or she might come here so I've got to be strong for her.

Take thing easy Squirrel Ds will understand why you are upset. Its alot to hit all at once and trying to deal with everything is draining both emotionally and physically.

And remember to EAT something this evening Thats very important esp as you arent well.

you are a very strong person Squirrel and I know that you and dd will get through this together. Its quite possible that dd will turn up at yours and you will be able to support each other.

Ok thanks tarantula, I'll try to eat something, although the thought of eating is making me feel yuk, but I know you are right.

Please excuse my language in this thread, I never swear usually.

so sorry all this has landed on you

I hate the thought of eating when Im upset too but it is always a good idea. and then have some chocolate for afters. thats always a good idea.

so sorry you are going through this.

Thank you everybody for being so suportive, I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found this site and you lot (I think I would have gone quietly insane!).

Thank you.

Hi Squirrel Im off home in a minute so jsut wanted to say take things easy tonight. Ill be thinking of you and will pop in tomorrow morning to see how you are. Take care

Hi squirrel Hows things today? Hope you were ok last night

i know exactly how you feel, my nan died last monday and the children were supposed to go to legoland on wednesday, but noone felt up to taking them, so i just explained as best as i could what had happened and that people were feeeling and sad and didn't feel able to cope with all the people at legoland so we could go another time.

they were also let down of a holiday with there nan (my mum) for this week as the funeral was yesterday and so my mum couldn't take them away either. they have been fine about it, ds1 (8) was upset thet his great grandma had died, but ds2 (3) didn't really understand and as long as i let him run riot in the garden he didn't seem bothered.

hope all is well for you, take care.

Hello, I'm bearing up (as they say), I've got to go to the home and clear out Grandads stuff, the death is being registered tommorrow and the funeral will probably be on the 12th or the 15th, I'll go to the funeral but I won't go to the thing afterwards because I think I might land up having a huge row with my mother, I don't need to bite my tongue anymore, I don't have to worry about upseting Grandad now.

Then that will be it, I don't have to see her ever again.

Still can't believe what dp has done but...

I managed to calm dd down about Lea, from the sounds of it her condition isn't as bad as hers so at least thats something.

Huh, if dp comes back and the funeral is on the 15th it will cause more rows because the 15th is dsd's birthday.