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Came back from holiday early ...............

114 replies

Squirrel3 · 02/08/2005 07:11

We came back from holiday early yesterday because it did nothing but rain, because we were camping everything was damp and horrible and I came down with flu. The kids weren?t having a great time either so we decided to come home and just go out for days (at least we would have somewhere dry to sleep). The kids are excited because we had planned to take them to Thorpe Park today.

But?.

At 4am the phone rang to tell me that my Grandad has died?. I feel numb? I know that now he is out of pain and he is not suffering anymore but??

I don?t know what to do about the kids, we are supposed to have them until Sunday, don?t think I can cope with that, but on the other hand they have had such a rotten holiday and they were so excited about Thorpe Park and other days out we had planned I feel really guilty about wanting them to go home?.

I can?t think straight, don?t know what to do, I feel numb but I?m in a ?flat spin? too.

Sorry if this is depressing, I thought it might help to write it down, but it hasn?t?..

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Catsmother · 04/08/2005 10:45

If he comes back & if he uses the funeral as an excuse for a row, I think that'll probably show him up once and for all as the uncaring idiot that he is.

It hardly needs spelling out does it, that a funeral occurs once - there are always other birthdays, indeed, many many people hold birthday celebrations on a different date to their actual birthday - due to work committments etc ....... Jeez ......

Your DP comes across to me, from what you've said (and just confirmed again in your last remark) that anything which even slightly disrupts the skids' arrangements, is a terrible slight upon them - and maybe him too. That's a ridiculous and unrealistic attitude, because, in real life, things do happen unexpectedly every so often and sometimes, just sometimes, things happen which are, right at that moment in time, more important than the skids. This isn't me being horrible, just saying it like it is - or should be .... apart from anything, children too, even relatively young ones, shouldn't be totally cocooned from life's realities and at some stage, have to learn that on very rare occasions, other people's feelings and needs have to be put first, even if only briefly. That understanding of how the world works helps them to be better rounded, less selfish individuals.

I wonder if, when DP took the kids home, he got any snide remarks from his ex ? Quite possibly these may have been along the lines of "not taking his responsibility seriously", "getting out of looking after his children" or "you've caused me loads of inconvenience now". If so, he may now be feeling humiliated and possibly guilty - and though it doesn't excuse his behaviour one little bit, he sees you as the root cause of his disquiet and takes it out on you in a fit of resentment ? .....

.... though of course, any sensible mature adult would have replied curtly to such jibes with "don't be so unreasonable and spiteful, you know what's happened, I'll be in touch as soon as I can to rearrange having the kids" - and then come home to give you a big hug and offer to help you in any way they could.

If he does come back, and if he tries to pick a row, ignore him. There doesn't have to be a row - and frankly, there is nothing to be rowed about period. Please try not to worry about this, or feel any sense of guilt.

I'm pleased Lea's condition isn't as bad as it might have been.

Take care.

tarantula · 04/08/2005 10:53

Hi Squirrel I think you need to concentrate on yourself and your daughter atm. You have expended alot of energy on helping your dp and his kids and he has not reciprocated in anyway AFAICS.
Glad to hear that dd has calmed down and it is good news that Lea isnt as bad as you thought she might be.
If you dont feel taht you can go to the 'do' after the funeral why not take ds and dd and lea out for a nice quiet drink somewhere so that you can celebrate your grandads life together and remember him that way?

So what if its dsd's birthday on the 15th. She is old enough to realise that some things are more important than birthdays (and this is one of them). Seems to me that its dp that has the problem with stuff like this rather than the kids. TBH I was wondering last night if their BM is causing trouble because dp treated her like he is treating you atm and that is the root of her bitterness. Just a thought.

PS how are his fishing rods? Have you started the bonfire yet? Shall I bring round the marchmallows? Evil

Squirrel3 · 04/08/2005 10:55

Thank you catsmother, actually dp walked in a few minutes ago and checked his boat all over (do you think he has been reading mumsnet? lol)

He did ask me if I knew more about what was happening with the funeral but I didn't tell him anything yet, I'll wait until I know more, I can't be bothered with him at the moment.

Vickiyumyum, I'm so sorry to hear about your Nan.

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tarantula · 04/08/2005 10:55

Catsmother is sooo much more sensible than I am and put the whole birthday thing soooo much better too.

Squirrel3 · 04/08/2005 11:02

Tarantula, Ive wondered about the very same thing, there has got to be a reason why both of his ex wives cheated on him.

The idea about taking the grandchildren out for a quiet drink afterwards is a really lovely one.

We are putting Grandads Bible and pictures of Lea and DGS in his cofin with him, he was so taken with Lea he said she was beautiful, just like my Nan (it was one of the very few moments that he was able to respond which was lovely).

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Squirrel3 · 04/08/2005 11:21

got to go to the home now, speak later.

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Squirrel3 · 04/08/2005 12:48

I'm back now, there wasn't much to do, my mother had been there and cleared out most of the stuff, she just left his religious stuff etc.

When I got back dp started to moan about his car, he had a problem with it before we went on holiday and I had suggested a niegbour (a machanic) that could fix it (which he did), apparently its not quite right, supose thats my fault too...I told him to go back to the neigbour but he just went off on one and he has gone out again.

You know what I really don't care if he goes now, I don't understand why he is being like this.

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Squirrel3 · 04/08/2005 13:31

Just txted dp to tell him what a selfish w@nker he is.

Actually it was 7 txt msges long telling him exactly what I thought of him.

Now, where's that drill and hacksaw?

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Catsmother · 04/08/2005 14:29

I'm sure you can find them if you look hard enough LOL !!!

tarantula · 04/08/2005 14:35

Oh dear sounds like things have gone from bad to worse with dp. He really is treating you like shit. Really think he isnt inhabiting the same planet as the rest of us. Have you heard back from him at all?

did you see yor mum at all or had she been round before you got there?

Squirrel3 · 04/08/2005 14:42

She had been there before me thankfully.

dp has just txt back telling me that he would like to be more supportive but I won't 'let him in' because I have always had to deal with things myself in the past and I won't let anyone help me....

Don't know what to think, maybe there is some truth to it, I don't know....

Maybe its just a convenient excuse for his behaviour....

I'm confused now...

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tarantula · 04/08/2005 14:49

Sorry but that sounds like a very poor excuse of a cop out to me. He expects you to help out with the skids while you are grieving and go along with all his plans and needs and wants and be strong while his kids are there.

Then in the next breath he complains that you wont let him in. How are you supposed to let him in if you are running round after him and the kids and then as soon as the kids go he gives you no chance to talk to him at all?????

Squirrel3 · 04/08/2005 14:52

your right, how dare he blame this on me!

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Catsmother · 04/08/2005 15:01

Classic guilt transference IMO ..... blaming you for causing his inadequacies !

Squirrel3 · 04/08/2005 15:06

I don't think that now is a good time to make the decision wether to end the relationship for good or not, I need time to grieve, I don't really think its hit me properly yet with everything else thats happened. It would be easy to make a decision in the heat of the moment that I may regret later, but I don't know if I could ever trust him to be there for me if another crisis was to occurr... he is being incredibly insensitive and such a pratt that I can honestly say that at the mo I don't really care if it is the end... But on the otherhand he is not always such a w@nker and my life has improved so much being with him...

Think I might be talking a lot of crap now...

I need time to grieve, think then decide...

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tarantula · 04/08/2005 15:17

thats a very good idea squirrel. Where has he gone to do you know? I think that you do need to take time out for yourself to grieve and also time for you and children and grandchildren esp helping dd through dealing the news about Lea.

once you have had sometime then I think you can sit down with dp and look seriously at your relationship and decide where you would liek to take the relationship. It will be difficult for you to trust him again and if you stay together I do think he needs to know that.

Good luck

Surfermum · 04/08/2005 20:15

I've just caught up with this Squirrel. I'm so sorry about your Grandad, little Lea and all the other aggravation you're having. You really don't need it and should just be able to get on with grieving for your Grandad.

I just don't get your dh. If, like he says, you aren't letting him in, why not just be there passively, be quietly supportive? He's just behaving totally unreasonably.

Try not to think about it all at the moment. Get the funeral over and give yourself time to grieve for your Grandad. You need to look after yourself right now. I think you're amazing to have gone to Thorpe Park with all this going on and feeling how you must with the 'flu and everything.

Take care and lots of {{{{hugs}}}}. We're here for you.

Squirrel3 · 04/08/2005 20:41

Thank you so much for your support Surfermum, its good to hear from you, I hope everything is ok with you.

I am going to take the good advice that has been given on here and consentrate on my children and myself for now, the problems with dp can wait, if he decides to show some compassion and human feeling all well and good but if he doesn't he really isn't worth it and I'll face that when I am ready.

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Surfermum · 04/08/2005 21:11

Sounds sensible to me. I'm fine thanks, but like you came home from camping early . The tent leaked, everything was damp and I had to see a doctor while we were away as I had tonsillitis. The good news is that I hardly ate anything and have lost half a stone .

Squirrel3 · 04/08/2005 21:19

Hope you are feeling better now surfermum, what a horrible way to lose half a stone though (but then again is there a nice way to lose it?).

Sorry your holiday was a damp one, maybe next time will be better. I usually love camping but its not so much fun when everything is damp is it, and the noise of the rain hitting the tent seems sooooo loud its impossible to sleep!

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Surfermum · 04/08/2005 22:29

I love the sound of rain on the tent - but only in the daytime. I lie awake wondering if the bl**dy thing is leaking otherwise (which it was). We've decided it's time for a new one. I think I probably would have coped much better had I been feeling OK, but I just wanted to be at home in my own non-damp bed.

Squirrel3 · 05/08/2005 09:29

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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tarantula · 05/08/2005 09:36

Mornig squirrel Whats up?

Squirrel3 · 05/08/2005 09:50

I was talking with a (male) friend yesterday afternoon and he couldn't really understand why dp is acting the way he is but he did say "I don't understand him, he can be such a nice bloke, he is good to you and the kids, I think he just can't handle seeing you upset and doesn't know how to handle the situation so he is pushing you away, so that he doesn't have to deal with it, he just doesn't know how to support you", to which I pointed out that when his ex wifes father died he was very supportive, I heard him on the phone to her saying all of the right things and being very suportive. The male friend said but he isn't as close to her as he is to you.

I thought that he had a point, and when dp came in later he was trying to be nice to me so I thought that maybe my friend was right and I was going to give dp the benefit of the doubt.

Anyway this morning he (dp) asks me if dss1 (aged 21 with drug problems) can stay for 2 weeks because his mum is going away and she doesn't want to leave him on his own. i asked him when and he said "from today, she is going away today"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I knew as soon as he said it it was the end of out relationship!!!!!!

I told him that yes he could have him but at his mums because I can't cope with anymore, he got a strop on and has left again!!!!!!!!

I would move out myself fo the 2 weeks so that he could have him here but I have got no-where to go...

And he must have known ages ago but didn't tell me Dss1's mum would not just land it on us at the last minute like this.

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Squirrel3 · 05/08/2005 09:56

When am i going to be able to greive????

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