Nutty Stepmum's Club (NSC) - Who Wants To Join Us?

[SadSam]

Howdy!!!! Squirrel 3 and I have decided that as we are a bit nutty, we'd like to set up the Nutty Stepmum's Club or NSC. If anyone would like to join us, please add to this post and prove that we are not the only nutters out there!

We would like to add a little bit more nuttyness to our already insane lives!!!!

PMSL - Great joke Squirrel, thats more like it!

I've got an admission to make, I must confess...

My 'friend' I recommended to mumsnet is infact my daughter!

Yes I am going to be a granny again!!

Yikes! I feel so old!!

Oh No!!!! I'd better be careful with the jokes too, can't have her finding out that I tell rude jokes!!

Congrats thats fantastic So pleased for you

Hello tarantula, how did it go? did you get dss home yesterday?

Help!!!

I'm trying to resist telling rude jokes!!!!!

Don't know how long I can last....

All sorted. He stayed round at a friend of ours and BMs last night so that was ok.Apparently dp tried to ring me before he left but my phone was busy. Didnt think to leave a message with our switchboard silly man.

BM is still having hissy fits mind. I could bang their heads together I really could neither of them listen to each other when they are making arrangements and it sooo pisses me off GGGGRRRRR. Still all sorted and we are off this evening yippee. Would actually have liked to have brought dss with us but my dads paying for our flights and I dont have enough money to buy one for dss. bummer that. Hopefully he can come with us next time.

Love the condom joke its brillaint!!!

trantula glad it all worked out.

You know you shouldn't encourage me with the rude jokes about condoms!!

Imagine if all major retailers started making their own brand of condoms,
but keep the same marketing slogans...?

SAINSBURY'S CONDOMS - MAKING LIFE TASTE BETTER

TESCO CONDOMS - EVERY LITTLE HELPS

NIKE CONDOMS - JUST DO IT

PEUGEOT CONDOMS - THE RIDE OF YOUR LIFE

GALAXY CONDOMS - WHY HAVE RUBBER WHEN YOU CAN HAVE SILK

KFC CONDOMS - FINGER LICKING GOOD

SAFEWAY CONDOMS - LIGHTENING THE LOAD

ABBEY NATIONAL CONDOMS - BECAUSE LIFE IS COMPLICATED ENOUGH

COCA COLA CONDOMS - THE REAL THING

DURACELL CONDOMS - KEEP GOING AND GOING

PRINGLES CONDOMS - ONCE YOU POP, YOU CAN'T STOP

BURGER KING CONDOMS - HOME OF THE WHOPPER

GOODYEAR CONDOMS - FOR A LONG RIDE GO WIDE

F CUK CONDOMS - NO COMMENT REQUIRED

MULLER LIGHT CONDOMS - SO MUCH PLEASURE, BUT WHERE'S THE PAIN

HALFORDS CONDOMS - WE GO THE EXTRA MILE

ON-DIGITAL CONDOMS - PLUG AND PLAY

ROYAL MAIL CONDOMS - I SAW THIS AND THOUGHT OF YOU

ANDREX CONDOMS - SOFT, STRONG AND VERY VERY LONG

RENAULT CONDOMS - SIZE REALLY DOES MATTER

RONSEAL CONDOMS - DOES EXACTLY WHAT IT SAYS ON THE TIN

RONSEAL QUICK-DRYING CONDOMS - IT'S DRY AND WATERPROOF IN ABOUT 30 MINUTES

DOMESTOS CONDOMS - GETS RIGHT UNDER THE RIM

HEINEKEN CONDOMS - REACHES PARTS THAT OTHER CONDOMS JUST CANNOT REACH

CARLSBERG CONDOMS - PROBABLY THE BEST CONDOMS IN THE WORLD

AA CONDOMS - THE 4TH EMERGENCY SERVICE

PEPPERAMI CONDOMS - IT'S A BIT OF AN ANIMAL

POLO CONDOMS - THE CONDOM WITH THE HOLE (VERY POOR SELLER)

PSML esp the polo one must remember them to tell dp

Oi Sadsam!!!

How is our Cheif Nutter today?

Oh No, they're not on to you are they?!!!

Tell the men in white coats whatever you want but don't give them your secret identity, we are depending on you 'our great nutty one'.

reflection, have they still got you?

Oh No!

I'm getting scared now!!

Have a good weekend everyone. Im off to teh airport now with big pants in tow.

Have a lovely time!!!

Sorry Squirrel, I was hiding from the men in white coats, they came very close to my door yesterday. Think some neighbour must have grassed me up for parading around the garden at midnight with big pants on my head singing the NSC anthem and cursing BM!!!!! Ooooopss!

Absolutly wicked....140. This maybe a record. I've been away for the last week taking a well earned break...

Squirrel that story was fabdabbydosey. I loved it. I am sure that it is your dedication to the cause that has kept our great institution going. Therefore I award you the GOLDEN BIG PANTS for service to NSC and all those wonderful stepmums everywhere. Use them wisely.

Tarantula, have a great time away.

Sadsam you work too hard...ask for a payrise. You never know they might just give you some pennys.

I am only in for a couple of hours today so not going to be around much but normal service resumes on Monday and will become the fulltime member once again...will promise to post joke today before I go.

Thank you Reflection, we are aiming to add just a little bit of fun insanity to our allready insane lives!!!!

Squirrel has been the saviour of this thread, I therefore hand over the gauntlet of Chief Nutter (as well as the golden big pants) to her as she has kept this thread going whilst I have been overworked!!!!

Dont worry ladies, in a week or so I will be bugging you pieces on here with silly messages as boss is on holiday for 2 weeks!!!!! Yipeeeeeeeee!!!!

How do you know a man is planning for the future? He buys to packs of beer......

I know.

Bye. Have a lovely weekend. Wrap up warm.

Bye Reflection, take care and have a good weekend! x

Awwww shucks!!!!!

I'm so moved, it is a great honour to receive the ultimate accolade.

I will accept the Golden Big Pants with pride (as long as they have been washed after being worn by the previous owner!!)

I would like to thank my great aunt Flo, My wonderful grandparents (who have supported me throughout my nuttiness) my uncle Jack, my brother Tony, My Agent and Doris (who lives down the road who always says hello in spite of the fact that I usually ignore her) sob, sob I'm so overwhelmed by this honour that has been bestowed on me!!

I also must thank my Skids, without whom I would be perfectly sane!!

The BM must also take some of the credit for my insanity!!!

And also not to mention my own children without whom my insanity would hold no meaning!!!!!!

Good Morning fellow nutters, lets start the week off with some laughs;

You may not know that many non-living things have a gender.

For example:

1. Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2. Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3. Tyre -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4. Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5. Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6. Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7. Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8. Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9. Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10. Remote Control Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider this it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying

tee hee

Hello Frizbe, welcome to our nutty step-mum club. Were you nutty after becomming a stepmum or have you always been nutty?

PMSL @ Squirrel. Love the male / female part, very apt! How are you this week? Did you have the skids the weekend? I didn't, but we are having them this Friday until Sunday

Hello Sadsam, I'm getting a bit worried about you, you love male and female parts do you?!!!???

I'm fine, had the Skids the weekend, it all went surprisingly well! Think I'm more relaxed about it now, knowing that I can talk on here and I've got the support of loads of nutty stepmums makes all the difference.

Just realised we have broken all records with this thread in the step-parenting section the record was 146 posts on the (surprise, surprise) tiresome ex-wife thread.