HELP! Dp wants SS with a drug problem to live with us!

[squirrel3]

Just found out that SS (from 1st marriage) problems are because he has a drug problem!! Not down to depression as I thought. BM wants to throw him out, DP wants him to live with us. I don't want a teenager with a drug problem living in my house. I don't want to expose my son to it, (he's already put up with a lot in his life, my daughter is pysically disabled and suffered from servere depresion because of it, it was really hard for him)We don't have room, why should my son have to share his room with a 'druggie'? He has never had to share before, its always been 'his space'.

(Just failed an exam at collage because I couldn't stop thinking about it!)

I feel like I'm being torn in two, I really want to help but Ive already been through so much with DD, she became disabled through an illness when she was 12, the illness gave her a deformed spine and she suffered so much pain along with it she became severely depressed and tried to take her own life on several occasions. We were in and out of hospital for years. Now she is adult and coping with it, I feel like for the first time in many many years I can breath a sigh of relief and get on with my own life, now this! I don't know if I'm ready to take on a teenager with drug problems.

my brother always found a way tbh regardless of where he was and admits to this day he would have Could he at least start going to na or something before he moves in ?watching someone like a hawk won't work unless they are really ready to stop as we found out to our detriment My brother decided to quit out of the blue whilst living on his own where he could easily have accessed dealers Whilst we were enabling him by providing a home etc he walked all over us I know this sounds harsh but be careful make your feelings clear from the start xx

Surfermum, sorry I've only just seen your msg about drugs testing. We were only going to suggest it to SS if we were sure he was using again, hopefully by then he will realise that we can be trusted to suport and help him. Of course this is all down to if he wants help, he will only come to live with us if he wants to get off them. Here's hopeing that he sees sense.

My head is spinning SS no1's BM called yesterday evening (13yr old) SS no2 phoned SS1 in floods of tears, really worried about him asking "why are you doing this to yourself? Do you know how much you are hurting your family?" SS1 just said that he was ok and not to worry about him. I didn't realise SS2 knew what was happening! It?s heartbreaking. We have just been trying to put all of our energies into finding the right kind of help and working out how we were going to deal with the immediate problem of where SS1 was going to live etc. How stupid of us not to realise SS2 knew what was going on! Feeling really guilty, got SS2 and SD2 overnight this evening and the weekend so we are just going to concentrate on them. SS1 can wait for a few days!!

Surfermum I have tried to CAT you, don't know if you got my email.

Hi squirrel, I've just had a look and yes, I've got it. I'm in work tomorrow so will speak to my boss then.

Thank you so much surfermum.

Squirrel I have spoken to my boss and have the details of who you can contact for some help locally - and will email you from home with them tonight.