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Step-parenting

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Dp wants dss to live with us, and i don't !

128 replies

MrsParker · 12/11/2008 00:02

I've been with dp for nearly 2 years. Have one ds together 7 months. I have a dd 4 who lives with us. And he has dss 6 who we have every friday night through to sunday. Weekends are very stressful, kids fight all the time, and i look forward to sunday when he goes home.

There have been some problems today with dp's ex and dss. She doesn't want him living there, either he goes into foster care or comes to live with us. He has previously been sent to live with an auntie for 6months coz she couldn't cope.
Dss wants to live with us, does not want to go home.

Seems she doesn't bother with dss, never helps with homework, doesn't cook for him, swears at him. Apparently fridge is full of alcohol, not food.

Problem is, i don't think i could cope with dss full time. I would be main care giver as partner works. The kids argue and fight constantly. Me & dp often take sides. My child against his child. Then we have the one in the middle of it.

Anyway, dp obviously wants him here and i don't. Think this will signify the end of our relationship, as i understand he has to put his dss first.

Anyone got any advice Please.

OP posts:
fourkidsmum · 14/11/2008 17:33

MP,

to 'Can I say that I think some people are being very unfair here' - i agree.

i wouldn't be surprised if you have run a mile, wishing you never posted this , but please note that not everyone is judging you unfairly.

i hope you work something out that works for you all.

ElenorRigby · 14/11/2008 20:07

Oh please, I am in Mrs Parkers very similar shoes.
I am bloody not being mean just saying a common sense point of view in my EXPERIENCE!
That is DP's daughter is and has always been a package with DP. I have ALWAYS accepted that DSD would be welcome living with us.
You take on a father and his children imo.

gagarin · 14/11/2008 20:18

But all she's saying is that she's not as good a step mum as you.

And that she is worried her lack of expertise and enthusiasm for dealing with emotionally troubled children will cause this boy as many problems as he has now.

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