Would you still give a bday gift to adult step child?

[Anuta77]

Just wondering, because it's the first time that it happens like that, but step daughter turned 19 at the beginning of november. She normally would visit us every 2 weekends, but obviously with time, she skips some weekends and since September, I only saw her once.
So I might see her only over 3 weeks after her bday or even later if she doesn't come next weekend (which would be a couple of days after my own bday, so kind of strange to be giving her a gift).
Would you still give her a gift? We have a good relationship, but are not very close and by then, her bday will be long gone. I don't have any ideas for a gift, other than a gift card or money.

That's my point, when you thought she was coming then surely you had already bought a present to give her? So just give her that?

I'm a little confused.
If you only found out last minute that she wasn't coming, why didnt you have the gift already?
Or were you planning to buy something last minute, then she changed her visiting plans.

To her it may seem a little like not getting a gift is punishment for not coming to see you nearer to her birthday. If you usually get her a gift, then she may be hurt if you don't and/or read too much into it.

I'd try to look at the gift giving as your way of showing your support/love with no strings attached.

I don't get someone a gift just so I can see them open it and be thankful.
I get a gift because I want them to know I was thinking of them, celebrate them etc.

So just post it???

So stop doing it and just get DH to put your name on it. Works both ways when you become an adult.

I'm a stepchild, in my 40s. I'd be really upset if my stepmother randomly stopped giving me presents one year. If you're bothered by the gap since her birthday, why not just put it in the post so it arrives on the right day? That's what I do with Christmas and birthday presents for anyone whose birthday I might miss. Or, as an alternative, go round and drop it off?