Page 3 | Had enough!

Sickofmess · 2025-05-31T07:22:06+00:00

Hi all i recently read a thread re a lovely lady who had tolerated her partner and 2 stepkids living in her house who had no respect for her and her home, boundaries overstepped etc (from April 2025… I think) I am unable to comment on it but I wish I could …. I’ve read the whole thread and honestly I could have written it myself ! The only difference being this lady has a cat and I have a dog ! as her posts rang so true to the life I’m currently living I wonder if anyone has participated in the thread and wondering how she is doing now ? my partner lives with me and we have his 2 kids eow . The days leading up to the visits are shocking for me , I’m full of anxiety and have palpitations etc . My partner is the typical Disney dad as you’ve all described . The kids are 9 and 7 and push me and my lovely home to the absolute limits . I can see this playing out as the other lady’s dis .. the minute I speak with my partner about the kids shitty behaviour and manners and disrespect . I get shot down . I’m at the end of my rope with it all. I do not care if they’re feral at their mothers or when they used to live with him but I won’t accept it . But this casts a lot of doubt as to whether I’m being unreasonable or I’m just expecting rules in MY home to be adhered to . I hope I’ve come to the right place for support 🙏🏻

Gundogday · 31/05/2025 12:05

Their behaviour is diabolical. It’s not going to get better. If their dh won’t discipline them and get their to behave, and they won’t listen to you, then the only option is to get rid of them all(including dp). You can’t live like this.

If dp pushes back and says he (and children) have no where to go, then that’s not your responsibility. Wonder if his kids behaviour had any bearing on why he moved out of the rented home.

IcyPlumOtter · 31/05/2025 12:09

If / when you ask him to leave, don't let him think it's because of the kids and let him blame them. It's his fault. His shit parenting, his lack of contribution, his taking advantage of you, his not listening to you - him him him. The prick.

TeeBee · 31/05/2025 12:12

Oh come on OP. This guy saw you coming. Utterly taking the piss while you run yourself in circles. Move them all out again. Tell him it’s time he went and found his own home now. His game is up.

Loadsapandas · 31/05/2025 12:14

treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas · 31/05/2025 11:41

No I don’t think she should rectify things fgs. I just offfered and alternative solution. Claws are out as usual on this forum.

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Is the aim of the alternative not to rectify things?

If not, what’s the point?
mi don’t mean to get at you - it’s frustration at the patriarchy that encourages women to bend over backwards to accommodate useless men.

moving mirrors isn’t going to change his crappy parenting or partnering - he is freeloading and a shit parent to boot.

Dunno how that’s appealing tbh.

pinkdelight · 31/05/2025 12:15

treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas · 31/05/2025 12:04

it nitpicky because I said DH not partner 😂 I think that says it all really

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Agh, sorry but it's really not nitpicky. Because it's a huge difference if he's a DH or what the OP has actually described which was a guy who left his rental in a state and moved in with her in a 'whirlwind' and now she's in this horror show. You thinking he was her DH makes some sense of why you'd take that more 'ways to endure this' approach as the only alternative is divorce, but in reality, that's not relevant because she doesn't have to endure it a moment longer.

Sedgwick · 31/05/2025 12:22

@treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas huge difference between partner and DH. Huge difference legally. Fortunately this useless man is not her DH and the house is her property so she can and should tell him to leave.

treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas · 31/05/2025 12:25

Loadsapandas · 31/05/2025 12:14

Is the aim of the alternative not to rectify things?

If not, what’s the point?
mi don’t mean to get at you - it’s frustration at the patriarchy that encourages women to bend over backwards to accommodate useless men.

moving mirrors isn’t going to change his crappy parenting or partnering - he is freeloading and a shit parent to boot.

Dunno how that’s appealing tbh.

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Nope said HE needs to sort those things not OP

treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas · 31/05/2025 12:25

pinkdelight · 31/05/2025 12:15

Agh, sorry but it's really not nitpicky. Because it's a huge difference if he's a DH or what the OP has actually described which was a guy who left his rental in a state and moved in with her in a 'whirlwind' and now she's in this horror show. You thinking he was her DH makes some sense of why you'd take that more 'ways to endure this' approach as the only alternative is divorce, but in reality, that's not relevant because she doesn't have to endure it a moment longer.

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Nope simply just an alternative option despite being DH, partner or a goat Just simply an alternative option

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 31/05/2025 12:26

treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas · 31/05/2025 12:25

Nope said HE needs to sort those things not OP

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But he’s not going to do any of these things, as if he wanted to, he could just discipline them, insist they behave properly and he wouldn’t need to. He’s not going to, he’s a useless twat.

treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas · 31/05/2025 12:26

Sedgwick · 31/05/2025 12:22

@treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas huge difference between partner and DH. Huge difference legally. Fortunately this useless man is not her DH and the house is her property so she can and should tell him to leave.

It was just simply an alternative option. That is all

MoominMai · 31/05/2025 12:29

@Sickofmess i mean the fact you get anxiety several days beforehand is all the sign you need to be throwing this one back. You should be prepared for a state of perhaps bracing yourself and being prepared to be tired with having the kids around because of their ages but there should also be enjoyment of them mixed in. The fact it’s all negative and your OH is ignorant of the toll it takes on you or even being an involved parent when they’re in your home is really unforgivable. Just throw him out honestly and get your peace back either alone or with someone more mature.

treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas · 31/05/2025 12:45

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 31/05/2025 12:26

But he’s not going to do any of these things, as if he wanted to, he could just discipline them, insist they behave properly and he wouldn’t need to. He’s not going to, he’s a useless twat.

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What are people not getting it was an alternative option

Sassybooklover · 31/05/2025 12:52

You partner has no respect for you or your home. It's time for him to move out, and take his children with him. You are a convenience, it's really that simple.

Gloriousgoard · 31/05/2025 12:58

OP, I banned my SC from our house a few years ago and my marriage has never been stronger/ home more peaceful.

Fuck being treated like shit in your own home. I’d recommend it.

LizzyLine · 31/05/2025 13:01

You seem normal, kind, hardworking. He seems like a twat. Not least because of how he lets his kids behave. Please get rid. Being on your own is better than this.

pinkdelight · 31/05/2025 13:26

treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas · 31/05/2025 12:45

What are people not getting it was an alternative option

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I think it's that your alternative option is couched like it's for a woman in a marriage with a level of respect with a husband who is capable of stepping up as a parent and taking the suggestions on board (and tbf your list does read like some things are for the DH to do 'his part' while others sound like they're tips for the OP to do), and that's not what anyone else is getting from the OP's post. But as you say, it's an alternative option that she's free to run with if that's the case.

treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas · 31/05/2025 13:27

pinkdelight · 31/05/2025 13:26

I think it's that your alternative option is couched like it's for a woman in a marriage with a level of respect with a husband who is capable of stepping up as a parent and taking the suggestions on board (and tbf your list does read like some things are for the DH to do 'his part' while others sound like they're tips for the OP to do), and that's not what anyone else is getting from the OP's post. But as you say, it's an alternative option that she's free to run with if that's the case.

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Just simply an alternative option

Sedgwick · 31/05/2025 13:36

@treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas oh it’s an alternative option, now I get it, I think I just needed you to say it for the 8th time!

OP could visit her solicitor and sign over the house deeds to this man, she could bite her tongue and keep cooking and cleaning for him and his children, that’s another alternative option and a really bad one like yours was.

treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas · 31/05/2025 13:37

Sedgwick · 31/05/2025 13:36

@treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas oh it’s an alternative option, now I get it, I think I just needed you to say it for the 8th time!

OP could visit her solicitor and sign over the house deeds to this man, she could bite her tongue and keep cooking and cleaning for him and his children, that’s another alternative option and a really bad one like yours was.

What is your problem. It’s just an alternative option. Nice little pile on going on here. How mature

treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas · 31/05/2025 13:39

I’ve reported my post so you can all pile on someone else now or continue the pile on me on a different thread. Thank you

LadyChillT · 31/05/2025 14:07

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Original poster

Sickofmess · 31/05/2025 14:16

Thanks all of you for your advice . His ex and the mother of the kids has been hard work from day one but I’ve had to call her and explain that she needs to make arrangements for the children for the rest of the weekend . I have told her why and she’s onside .. whether that’s because she wants to see him fail at life or what I don’t know . So she’s collected the children as a ‘suprise’ I haven’t gone into major detail re the kids as they are hers and I don’t fancy a fat lip lol.
anyway he’s gone to see his friend about something. His things are in bags and on the doorstep in the rain . I couldn’t and wouldn’t have done it without support so thank you all . My friends have been telling me for years that this man is a loser . I wasn’t allowed to know the kids for 2 years of being with him ‘in case they were worried that him and their mother wouldn’t get back together ‘ those were his words . I should’ve ripped the red flag up then . Anyway when he comes back his things are waiting for him . My steam cleaner is being worked overtime and never will I ever put myself thru this again. Thank you all . And I’m so glad I reached out xx

OP posts:

TheAmusedQuail · 31/05/2025 14:19

@Sickofmess well done chick. Hopefully he doesn't have a key and tonight, you can loll on your clean sofa in your clean and tidy, and quiet living room and revel in the peace.

OneFineDay13 · 31/05/2025 14:21

This sounds awful OP. No idea why you're continuing to put up with this. Kids sound feral and the dad doesnt give a shit. Stand up for yourself and boot them out you have a cock lodger and his kids in tow

lunar1 · 31/05/2025 14:28

They are the children he’s raised, things won’t get better.