Petty Polly

[GlassCaseOfEmotions]

At the end of my tether with my DP's ExW!

Consistently, she messes around with pick up/ drop off times and pretty much just does whatever suits her! Won't unlock or answer the door/ phone when DSS's are dropped off on time to her, which has often meant we have to drive them back to our home and rearrange our day. I'm lucky my employer is very flexible, but there have been times I need to be at a meeting over 3 hours away and then can't attend.

Anyway, I've had enough of it. I've had enough of everyone dancing to her tune. I've had to rearrange my plans (work/ family commitments/ activities/ time with DP) to suit her on too many occasions, and there is never a consequence for her except DP giving her a bollocking.

DP and I have always made sure we are on time or slightly early (not a phonecall when we are outside her house a hour early with no prior communication. But 10/15 minutes early and let her/ DSS know there's no rush).

So, next handover day is me doing pick up. Petty Polly in me is going to turn up whenever I feel like it. It won't change anything, she will still do what she likes, but it'll at least make me feel better that she's been negatively impacted for once.

They can return to our home, but I can't make the decision they will remain there or even suggest that to her. That could be counted as kidnap as I don't have any PR.

Considering DP is sometimes out the house until late, that's a long time for me to prevent ExW having access to the kids while waiting for DP to message her.

I would suggest that you no longer drop them off while dp is working. I would suggest that he arranges his work / contact schedule so the scs come over only when he's available to actually take care of them.

@PrawnAgain it sounds like they are arranging their schedule like that.
He goes to work so the kids go to their mums. Except mum doesn't answer the door to let them in .....

So then her dp drops them before work or when he gets back. The op should absolutely not be rearranging her work or making wasted journeys.

@PrawnAgain not everyone can pick and choose their work hours.
It may not be that easy for him to do.
The OP seems happy to drop them off - she just wants their mum to answer the ruddy door 😂

Good idea, surely she wouldn’t leave them at school ?????

So glad I'm single.

All this negativity and problems just because of a man.

The cause of the problem is a woman

Mums up and down the country arrange their working hours around their kids. It's not unreasonable to expect the ops partner to. Do you think the op should just continue doing the parents this favour while the kids mum takes the piss out of her?

Sounds massively annoying for you and I fully support you being as petty as you like!

I assume there’s a reason why she doesn’t collect? Or can handover be at a time when it doesn’t affect your work?

But if they're being dropped off, it's their mums time to care for them. Not his.

Yes and no @Sux2buthen
Yes, it's a woman causing this.
But no, it's the op choosing to have a man rather than just be single, that is resulting in her having to put up with it.

Being single is so underrated! You just get none of this negative stuff. Ever.

So you think it is fair to have 2 kids get up at 05:00am in the school holidays so that DP can drop them off on his way to work?

Where do the kids go until he gets back from work?

She dropped them off at school once, and then went on holiday for a week. This was AFTER we said we couldn't accommodate the extra days that week.

She phoned her family an hour before school finished to tell them they'd have to look after them for the next few days, until they came back to ours.

She is unreal.

I've read your posts but can you clarify what the actual issue is- what is her reasoning for not answering the door? Why is she doing this?

Is there a disagreement re the schedule and drop off and collection times?

I would suggest that you no longer drop them off while dp is working. I would suggest that he arranges his work / contact schedule so the scs come over only when he's available to actually take care of them.

Nailed it.

Sorry, what? 🤣

So a mother is being useless, selfish and unreasonable... But it's DP's fault?!

Make it make sense, please!!

It sounds like it would be exactly the same issue if the husband changed his working hours/quit his job. Whoever is dropping them off doesn't matter if the children's own mother doesn't actually answer the door.

It's difficult to clarify.

There is no dispute or disagreement about the contact schedule or times or anything else.

She is just a selfish woman who has always done whatever suits her. She doesn't care for anyone else, and is extremely self centered. She has referred to her children as being an inconvenience more times than I can count.

Nope, you've missed my point. But so did another poster so maybe it was too subtle.

It isn't your DPs fault.

But you are choosing to be in this situation.

So my advice, which was clearly too subtle, is - run for the hills and be happy.

She just likes to make everyone's lives difficult, including the children and her own family. It's very pathetic really, I think she sees it as her last bit of control over DP.

Please elaborate on how he is pathetic.