Should I get my new bfs son a birthday present?

[Terpsichore24]

I’ve been dating my current bf for a couple of months and we’ve already said I love you.

His son’s birthday is coming up and I wondered if it would be too much if I bought him a small gift (leaning towards a book)?..

My bf has told me that other women have resented his son/ the fact he has a son and I just wanted to do something to show that I’m excited to one day meet his son?

I of course won’t sign the gift or ask him to tell him the gifts from me!

I thought it would be sweet if I did end up marrying my bf and being his son stepmom that we could one day in years to come look back and I I’d say oh I bought you this book for your 5th birthday? Like I do with my sibling that’s his age..

Anyways I’m new to this and I just wanted advice from stepmoms or just older women who have experience with dating someone with children.

:)

Be prepared for the child to not like you. Sounds like his father has involved plenty of other women in his life already, he's a bit older now and might start to resent this. Especially with you bringing another child in when he has limited time with his dad anyway.

Just because you expect it to be all sunshine and rainbows, doesn't mean this little boy will. His mum is unlikely to be very supportive either. You probably should buy him a gift and meet him now though. Rather than just throwing a new baby at him and expecting him to accept that. Many children aren't happy with new full siblings and take time to adjust.

I hadn't read the other threads but have now. While I appreciate this isn't an ideal situation, I still think that if the OP is going to be living with her boyfriend and baby in less than 9 months time it's not fair to the boyfriend's son for the whole situation to come as a shock.

OP, I think you do need to think about some of the bigger issues you have here. You planned to date intentionally, get married before having children, keep an eye on your boyfriend's behaviours around how he talks about and provides financially for his son before fully committing, and wait before meeting his son. (You've already talked to his son on the phone.)

Those things haven't gone to plan. It might be because they weren't really important to you. If they were, think carefully about why you've let go of all of them so quickly.