Unblending

[Notanotherchange]

Am very stressed at the moment and need some kind advice! My partner and I have been together almost 3 years and had a surprise baby. We have maintained separate house for ages but he and SS have moved in with me and my BD and our LO. I’ve got PPD but have gone back to work and trying to get back to me.

it’s not been long but it’s not working! The older kids bicker non stop, which is normal but there’s never any peace. My Daughter is 8 and has additional needs ( autism and adhd) which my partner struggles with. She has now told me she doesn’t want to be alive anymore.

Partner and I are always fighting, I have suggested living apart but he rejects it as SS won’t see the baby enough. But SS isn’t happy either. He feels left out when I take the baby upstairs when I change etc, and in understand that but I cannot leave with him and need privacy. Partner has argued with me a few times in Front of the kids which I do not like, and said some horrible things. I have mentioned my PPD, and he asked me why didn’t I put I had had depression on my dating profile or told him earlier I had a child with additional needs.

I am tired and feeling stretched so thin. Trying to keep everyone happy. Will this get better or should I insist they move? I feel sorry for all
the kids but I want us all
to have peace.

Has the son always lived with him ..
I'd say just change the locks and put his crap in bin bags
But it's tricky doing that with a child involved,
I'd struggle to put a child out on the street .
Maybe that's what he's banking on ,you being a soft touch ,like I probably would be ,and he's thinking you won't throw a child out .
Maybe you need some legal advice

Does he have enough money to get an air bnb for him and his child? Or friend or family to stay with?
Unless he had any official link to your home he is on the tenancy then I would change the locks and put his stuff in bags IF you feel safe from violence. If there is risk of him being violent then contact police or local dv service for advice on making a plan safely

How are things now @Notanotherchange?

Has he found anywhere?
Is he really looking?

Gosh I posted this a while ago…

so here’s the update- I felt bad and as predicted he did nothing about moving out. Over a week ago we had an argument, and I gave him a week. The week almost disappeared so I asked what his plans were. He got very angry and called my eldest child names. I said he had to be gone on Monday.

of course he did nothing, so I called the police and they got him out. The locks have been changed.

I feel very guilty, didn’t want anyone especially a child on the street. It’s sad it has come to this.

Don’t feel guilty! Well done for getting him out. I hope happier days are ahead for you and your children 💐💐💐

So sorry it came to that @Notanotherchange but that is 100% down to him. Blended families need to work for everyone, particularly the kids, they're not just an excuse not to pay rent. You did the right thing. Sending hugs 🫂

Glad you got there in the end @Notanotherchange . Calling the police sounds drastic but he wasn't going to go voluntarily. I wonder if he'll ask to see the baby, if he does I'd make it supervised and in a public place

I wondered if if it would come to that. He thought he had his feet under the table and just kept digging in.
This is all his fault, all of it. He’s had plenty of time to look for somewhere and he hasn’t bothered.
I hope things are better for you now.

Well done @Notanotherchange

You just gave yourself and DC the best Christmas present ever. 💐

Well done, OP, and don't feel bad. You did what was best for you and your children. His dc won't be on the street.

Thank god you finally got him out.
Do not allow him through the door again.

Brilliant. Well done.
I think it was obvious that the outcome would involve the police, but you did it.
It can't have been easy for you.

He is making out you duped him on dating app as a way to make you feel bad for having PND! What a complete fuckwit. You have to do what’s best for you, your daughter and baby and if you cant even go upstairs with the baby as you hurting his sons feelings then you are being manipulated by both him and his son. I don’t care if they have to sleep in the car you have to Chuck them out and you will start feeling better in yourself as you living in a war zone with everyone arguing and making you feel guilty.

How about you RTFT.

@TheShellBeach oops 🤣

Well done @Notanotherchange . This was the right decision. Never move a man into your child's home again, learn from this. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas.