Unblending

[Notanotherchange]

Am very stressed at the moment and need some kind advice! My partner and I have been together almost 3 years and had a surprise baby. We have maintained separate house for ages but he and SS have moved in with me and my BD and our LO. I’ve got PPD but have gone back to work and trying to get back to me.

it’s not been long but it’s not working! The older kids bicker non stop, which is normal but there’s never any peace. My Daughter is 8 and has additional needs ( autism and adhd) which my partner struggles with. She has now told me she doesn’t want to be alive anymore.

Partner and I are always fighting, I have suggested living apart but he rejects it as SS won’t see the baby enough. But SS isn’t happy either. He feels left out when I take the baby upstairs when I change etc, and in understand that but I cannot leave with him and need privacy. Partner has argued with me a few times in Front of the kids which I do not like, and said some horrible things. I have mentioned my PPD, and he asked me why didn’t I put I had had depression on my dating profile or told him earlier I had a child with additional needs.

I am tired and feeling stretched so thin. Trying to keep everyone happy. Will this get better or should I insist they move? I feel sorry for all
the kids but I want us all
to have peace.

Partner and I are always fighting, I have suggested living apart but he rejects it as SS won’t see the baby enough

Tough shit - chuck him out

Did you try to anonymize this by changing your older child’s sex and then forget? You seem to mention a son later.

are the two children having to share a room?

just suspicions and honestly the answers don’t matter. It’s not working and your child with SN is overly stressed. You have to make that issue your priority. If you really want, You can try again later to reintegrate the households, but it is not the right time now. You will know it is time when both you and your children start feeling like it is silly that your partner and his child live elsewhere.

And now you see why his ex has mh issues...

Yes quite.

It’s very disappointing. He’s now saying he doesn’t want the baby in the house with us. As my kid is too difficult.

But they aren’t, they are good with the baby.

He's going to use your child against you, your PPD against you, and anything else he an possibly think of that will hurt you and make you feel inferior.

He doesn't like the fact you've found the strength to stand up for yourself so he's going to try and bully that strength out of you.

He has shown his true colours about your older child though, you can't subject your child to living like that anymore.

Keep that fire op, don't let him wear you down.

End it. Claim cms. And don't allow him to bully you.

He’s a nasty bastard, trying to imply that your DD isn’t safe with the baby/ trying to scare you into backing down.

Get rid asap- he’s not going to get anywhere trying to take the baby away so see this as the desperate bluff it is.

Remember he's "A liar liar pants on fire"

You have got this and you can get rid of him.

Has he got somewhere he can go tonight, his mums? Sooner he is out the better it sounds.

GET. THEM. OUT

call the police tell him you kicked them out and they won’t leave and have them escort the two out. Then make him an ex and force him to take you to court for access. He’s an abusive shit.

It’s very disappointing. He’s now saying he doesn’t want the baby in the house with us. As my kid is too difficult.

He doesn't have a choice.

Do not let him see the baby alone without you for as long as possible.

Your kid isn't difficult. I wouldn't be surprised if your kid sensed who he was but couldn't vocalise it.

Can you ring someone now who you know will have your back?

You are showing you are stronger than you think and can do it.

that’s not her problem. she needs to kick them out now

He’s hiding in the spare room. My friends know what has happened. Will give him a couple of days to sort something then will resort to police or friends over if he won’t go.

When push comes to shove it's your house Op, you get to say who lives there. He's hiding in the spare room hoping you'll weaken and let him stay, don't let him wear you down. He'll always put his DC first, you'll do the same with yours- in your position there's no meeting half way so the sooner he moves out the better

Well done for telling him to go. He's going to try everything to stay because it suits him. Ironic isn't it that he doesn't want the baby in the house with you and your DD but only after you want him out.

he will keep trying all avenues. He will say you aren't stable due to PPD and he will get custody, he will say you won't be allowed to see his DS. It will ramp up. It's designed to keep you doing what he wants.
Id tell him to go now, if he carries on. Otherwise he has until the weekend.

Honestly OP, don’t let him stay. He needs to be gone by the morning. Tell him if he doesn’t leave voluntarily you will call the police.

He sounds nasty. Please be careful. Get some support over and get him out

Has he left yet, OP?
I hope you're okay.

Please involve the police if necessary to get him out.
Your daughter needs to be your priority.
She is obviously struggling with this new arrangement.
Get him out and get your house back.
He is suuting himself.

It’s been odd.

the rest of the day he avoided me and didn’t talk to me. Then yesterday and this morning he is acting like nothing at all has happened.

I feel bad turfing him and his son out on the street but he should at least be taking steps to go.

It really is you or him. Put you first.

Out the door he must go.

Honestly the man is a cock.

He is trying to ignore this and hope you are to weak to push forward with him leaving.
You are cheap accommodation for him and his child while your child is distressed.
He is trying to bully you to back down.
Text him that you want him out of YOUR home and you will involve the police.
Please put your poor child first and stop being used.