Meeting the mum and knowing what we do

[UniSim]

Need some friendly MN advice

Recently met DH’s kids after a long wait to ensure it was right (14 months), EXW has known about us for a year, the idea to meet children has been discussed since February and she was informed of actual plan to meet in advance (1 week).

She was unhappy about how much time she was given and is asking to be told of all meetings or plans in advance

We are only at the start and I understand she is probably worried. I haven’t met her yet but plan to. We want to keep everyone happy, especially the boys, and not have conflict or cause issues in what has been a relatively civil arrangement up to now

Any advice for keeping the peace whilst ensuring we are not beholden to his EXW?

My ex has a gf who seems nice. My kid likes her. I wasn’t told when the kid would first meet the gf and wouldn’t expect to be. I trust my ex with our child and therefore trust him to protect him and only have him around nice adults (friends, gf, whoever). This seems controlling and weird.