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Original poster

AIBU to charge £50?

159 replies

veryfluffyfluff · 26/06/2023 18:27

My DH and his ex have screwed up their plans and managed to have made commitments the same weekend. This weekend was DH's to have their kids and then switched to being ex's. I've been asked if I wouldn't mind being in and getting them dinner and they can come here for one night. I said I'd check my diary. AIBU to say sure that will be £50 please?

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Namechangers123484 · 26/06/2023 18:30

Personally yes you’d be unreasonable however you ask your DH to pay for takeaway?
my DSS was always one of the family, DH and I always had joint finances . Was never an issue DSS coming an extra night , and I welcomed it as he’s part of our family.
totally depends on your dynamics though

MissBattleaxe · 26/06/2023 18:31

YABU. They've messed up but you charging £50 will cause a lot of bad feeling and the kids may get caught in the cross hairs. Make it clear it's not on as a regular thing but do it out of goodwill.

Original poster
veryfluffyfluff · 26/06/2023 18:32

Good shout on the takeaway idea actually. I might say sure - but you're paying for pizza and pop.

OP posts:
HandInMine · 26/06/2023 18:32

YABU. Fine to say no, but if you do it, charging is weird.

Original poster
veryfluffyfluff · 26/06/2023 18:33

HandInMine · 26/06/2023 18:32

YABU. Fine to say no, but if you do it, charging is weird.

I guess I just want to appreciate I am doing it as a favour not because I am in any way responsible. I don't want it to become a habit.

OP posts:
Boomboxinmyattic · 26/06/2023 18:34

Go ahead and charge, and make sure your stepchildren know exactly how you feel about their presence 💯

Boomboxinmyattic · 26/06/2023 18:35

... maybe make them clean your house too? Don't want them to become cheeky fuckers, do we? 😅

HandInMine · 26/06/2023 18:35

I guess I just want to appreciate I am doing it as a favour not because I am in any way responsible. I don't want it to become a habit.

Just tell yourself husband that instead. Communication sorts most things.

SunnySaturdayinJune · 26/06/2023 18:36

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ as it was posted by a previously bas

pinkthree · 26/06/2023 18:36

Would you expect your DH to charge you £50 if you needed a favour? 🤔

OhmygodDont · 26/06/2023 18:36

I agree with the say yes but expect a full dinner / snacks could make it more than £50 😉

spidermonkeys · 26/06/2023 18:37

Just say no if you don't want to do it.

Charging is absolutely ridiculous

Original poster
veryfluffyfluff · 26/06/2023 18:37

Boomboxinmyattic · 26/06/2023 18:34

Go ahead and charge, and make sure your stepchildren know exactly how you feel about their presence 💯

Don't be ridiculous I'm not charging the stepchildren and their parents would be idiots to complain about it in front of them

OP posts:
batmansbike · 26/06/2023 18:37

Charging is a good way of letting them all know how you feel about being a step mum...

BamBamBambi · 26/06/2023 18:38

so is it his ex weekend?

Id be saying sure but they need to pay for the takeaway and drinks.

Original poster
veryfluffyfluff · 26/06/2023 18:38

pinkthree · 26/06/2023 18:36

Would you expect your DH to charge you £50 if you needed a favour? 🤔

He might if it involved babysitting two children that aren't his. Basically if I didn't exist what would they do? Get a babysitter.

OP posts:
Original poster
veryfluffyfluff · 26/06/2023 18:39

OhmygodDont · 26/06/2023 18:36

I agree with the say yes but expect a full dinner / snacks could make it more than £50 😉

Good point. What with inflation. I'll go for this idea I think that way I don't have to cook and can focus on keeping them happy during a film or something. Otherwise I'll be in and out the kitchen as they squabble.

OP posts:
INeedAnotherName · 26/06/2023 18:39

£50 for overnight babysitting is cheap so hopefully they snap your hand off. You also need to get them to pay for takeout.

Good for you OP. They won't mess up being parents again 😂

Chocolateship · 26/06/2023 18:39

You're brave posting this on MN OP!

I would be inclined to do it this once but make it very clear to DH (not the children of course) that it's an absolute one off and the parents are paying for the takeaway. It's both of them that have messed up and as much as I'm sure you want to support DH it's a slippery slope.

TeaKitten · 26/06/2023 18:40

Getting DH to pay for the take away is fair enough. Charging for your time is childish and unnecessary, doing occasional favours for your husband is part of marriage,
or even friendship. Communicate your point to him like an adult and enjoy your take away!

TomatoSandwiches · 26/06/2023 18:40

Is this the first time or are they slowly trying to make it a thing?
I would definitely tell your husband how you feel about this favour and not to expect it again.

I don't actually think charging for babysitting services is horrendous, sometimes losing money is the only way people get the message.

Boomboxinmyattic · 26/06/2023 18:41

veryfluffyfluff · 26/06/2023 18:37

Don't be ridiculous I'm not charging the stepchildren and their parents would be idiots to complain about it in front of them

Show quote history

You clearly value your stepchildren slightly lower that shit on your shoe, so? 🤷‍♀️😊

TeaKitten · 26/06/2023 18:41

veryfluffyfluff · 26/06/2023 18:38

He might if it involved babysitting two children that aren't his. Basically if I didn't exist what would they do? Get a babysitter.

Show quote history

But if you don’t want to do the favour, why not just tell him to get a babysitter anyway?

Original poster
veryfluffyfluff · 26/06/2023 18:41

BamBamBambi · 26/06/2023 18:38

so is it his ex weekend?

Id be saying sure but they need to pay for the takeaway and drinks.

Complicated! It was DH's then ex's then she realised she had something on. So there's debate I'm not getting into and she's just said oh well can't veryfluffyfluff look after them?

Which is amusing as she has been very reluctant when I offered to take them out on day trips.

OP posts:
Brightbear · 26/06/2023 18:41

What a lovely relationship you have, you mess up and your partner wants to profit financially out of it.

That is just so nice and loving.

To err is human Op, you may do it one day!