Excellent boundaries.
OP sounds like a lovely woman who has been used by and made a complete mug of by two people.
How lovely that she houses them all too.
He landed on his feet.
Only women get caught like this.
Can you imagine any man being restricted in their day to drop and collect their partners children?
Not a chance.
Men don't allow themselves to be used for childcare.
He deliberately put your name down as first contact.
Absolutely disgraced and deliberate.
THAT was NOT accidentally done.
Obviously you care about him, but you are being royally used by him.
He knows deep down he is using you.
Not "deep down", he knows well what he is doing.
He and his ex have a fool made out of you.
Not the first time we have read it on here.
Good men that really care about their partner wouldn't use them, the way he has done.
I really hope you do stand up for yourself because allowing yourself to be so used is really sad and utterly thankless.
Have a good look at your boundaries and self respect, because I can't understand how you would facilitate for one minute a woman who speaks about you the way his ex does.
You deserve a lot better than a user and his ex.